Well Suckas

Instead of watching the atrocity that is Bush speaking, or attempting to speak, in sentences, perhaps you would rather peruse this complements of Letterman:

GEORGE W. BUSH FIRST TERM VS. SECOND TERM
How will things be different?

First Term: naps from 2 PM to 5 PM
Second Term: naps from 2 PM to 6 PM

First Term: wrecked the Middle East
Second Term: wrecking Social Security

First Term: Sure that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction
Second Term: come to think of it, it might have been Iran

First Term: spent a lot of time and energy running for re-election
Second Term: already gearing up to run for that elusive third term

First Term: chocked on a pretzel
Second Term: close to a deal with Nabisco to choke on an Oreo

First Term: Americans go to Canada to avoid expensive drugs
Second Term: Americans go to Canada to avoid draft

First Term: sought to bring dignity to the White House
Second Term: seeks to bring Monster-Truck shows to the White House

First Term: lies to get us into war with Iraq
Second Term: lies to get us out of war with Iraq

First Term: criticized for spending too much time vacationing on Texas ranch
Second Term: will instead spend more time vacationing at Kennebunkport beach house

First Term: dazed
Second Term: confused

First Term: tried to keep harmony between members of cabinet
Second Term: trying to keep Bush twins out of liquor cabinet

First Term: vows to one day put a man on Mars
Second Term: vows to one day put a man on Liza Minnelli


Okay, the last one was kind of weak. I usually dislike blatantly copying late night material of others, but I thought this one was pretty good.