Wednesday, July 07, 2010

What the fuck is wrong with you?

How dare Children do nice things -- charity is not American!

The three young girls -- under the watchful eye of a nanny, sitting on the grass with them -- explained that they had regular lemonade, raspberry lemonade, and small chocolate candy bars.

Then my brother asked how much each item cost.

"Oh, no," they replied in unison, "they're all free!"

I sat in the back seat in shock. Free? My brother questioned them again: "But you have to charge something? What should I pay for a lemonade? I'm really thirsty!"

His fiancee smiled and commented, "Isn't that cute. They have the spirit of giving."

That really set me off, as my regular readers can imagine.

"No!" I exclaimed from the back seat. "That's not the spirit of giving. You can only really give when you give something you own. They're giving away their parents' things -- the lemonade, cups, candy. It's not theirs to give."

I pushed the button to roll down the window and stuck my head out to set them straight.

Ah yes, meeting an obnoxious asshole that yells at you for the shitiest of reasons -- always makes a lasting impression on children.

(via AmericaBlog)

UPDATE: Somebody on the twitter-machine makes the ultimate point about this hypocrite:

Of course, the young girls are giving something of value, Terry Savage is simply charging you what market value of her work dictates.


JDM said...

Nothing fer free, eh, Terry Savage? Whatever ur mom charged ur dad for being 26th in line wasn't worth it.

DanF said...

Yes. A thousand times yes. This country desperately needs to raise MORE greedy assholes! Otherwise there will be no one left to degrade our environment and crush the American Dream(tm). Think of the corporations. The corporations.

jimmiraybob said...

He's right. As we all learned when we were itty bitty chilren, the Biblical Good Samaritan invoiced for services rendered. (And the thumb was pretty heavy on the scale, if you know what I mean.)

This has been another episode of The Neo-Idiot Movement Conservative.

Uncle Smokes said...

Huh...I see Terry Savage "is a Phi Beta Kappa [gives out wads of free money!] graduate of the University of Michigan [publicly subsidized!] where she won a Woodrow Wilson Fellowship [non-profit!] in American history and economics."

Who knew that when Miss Isabelle Kemp was asked by Princeton to give free money (which would ultimately become the "Woodrow Wilson Fellowship"), the money would help teach someone that berating little girls was good business.

Seems to me that the cost to the parents of cups and lemonade is merely a loss leader in earning respect and a reputation for decency--such things are priceless and therefore, I suppose, of no interest to Terry Savage.

Anonymous said...

And after berating the little bitchuz she advised them on getting a lawyer to help fend off the city when they learn they are running a business in a residential zone, get an accountant to help incorporate with federal and state tax ID's, get insurance for those pesky liability lawsuits from buying tainted lemons, and teach them the ways to get rid of all those damn union organizers. I'm guessin'.

kth said...

"No such thing as a free lunch" was always a straw man. Contrary to Milton Friedman, no one thinks that free means without cost, just that someone else pays for it. And no one was under the illusion that free lunches materialized out of thin air, only that someone else picked up the tab for the poorer children. So that catchphrase has always had a bit of silliness at its core.

pansypoo said...

don't forget the SALES TAX too!

Montag said...

Proof positive that the United States still runs a surplus... of assholes.

Mr. Hedley Bowes said...

Chicago School. Next: friends will be billing each other for time (plus tax and shipping).

Major Woody said...

Well, this story doesn't sound the least bit made up. "Under the watchful eye of a nanny" = The Nanny State; "they replied in unison" = Obamabot Moonbats; "They're giving away their parents' things" = Socialist Hippies. I'll bet the story has a happy ending, though. The kids' free lemonade is tainted with pesticides, and everyone who drank it dies, proving that "you get what you pay for"! Hooray free market!