I remember when I was in college

And managed to write that "killer" Dungeons & Dragons campaign. It was truly teh awesome -- especially when we had that perfect balance of Skittles and hits from an IBD ('improvised bong device'). I'd sit there behind my Dungeon Master's shield and roll those d-20s and I'd almost forget the fact that I was doing this because I couldn't get laid.

Little did I know that this formula was actually a way to literary and cinema riches.

I blame you personally Donna Lou Peterson* for making me stray from this path.


*Name may be changed to protect the slightly less innocent.

An "American Citizen"

The troglodytes on the right will have an interesting time justifying this one. Another American Citizen tortured and deprived of his constitutional rights...and he's not even brown!

Shorter Fred Hiatt

You know I really should dump the neocons, but the head from Bill Kristol is really out of this world!

I'm George Will Dammit!!!!!!

You bloggers, you are nothing but narcissistic wannabees.

I, George "Fucking" Will, am the real thing baby! I write columns for the Washington Post and wear a bow-tie every Sunday, now that's narcissism from a pro!

Remember

If you buy this:

It will make you laugh; it will make you cry; but most of all -- at the end of the day, you may just learn something about yourself.


The 2007 Republican National Character Counts Calendar.

A joint Watertiger, Atta J. Turk production.

You can click the sidebar to the right to order, or the stars and stripes picture below.

Sacrifice

Is for other people:

This year, we invited readers on our Web site to ask you questions. Here's one: Nina Frazier of New Braunfels, Texas, asks: If you believe in the war, why didn't you encourage your own daughters to fight for your country? Or did you?

THE PRESIDENT: I believe Americans can contribute to the security and well-being of our country in a variety of ways. That's why we have a volunteer army. What we say to young people is that if you want to serve your country you can do so in the military, or you can do so by teaching children in inner-city Washington, D.C., like one of our daughters did. Or you can help form education programs in New York City, like our (other) daughter. There are all kinds of ways to serve.

Or you can serve by going backdoor with the 'K-Fed' of Argentina. That's what is so patriotic about the Bush family! They know the method of service for which they are best qualified. So send that Astroglide to the American Embassy in Buenos Aires.

Backdoor Draft for Jenna
c/o The American Embassy Argentina
Av. Colombia 4300
(C1425GMN) Buenos Aires - Argentina

Who sponsored this, Cheetos?

(AP Photo/Time, Inc., Andrew Eccles)

Someone get Michael Medved his smelling salts

Penguins offer evidence of global warming

The first Adelie penguin chicks of the season -- black fluffballs small enough to hold in the hand -- started hatching this month, and the simple fact that there are more of them in the south and fewer of them further north is a sign of global warming, scientists say.

In Michael Cricton's next book...

...Penguin child rapists.

Hearts & Minds

Bush White House, it is teh suck:

The Pentagon called them "among the most dangerous, best-trained, vicious killers on the face of the Earth," sweeping them up after Sept. 11 and hauling them in chains to a U.S. military prison in southeastern Cuba.

Since then, hundreds of the men have been transferred from Guantanamo Bay to other countries, many of them for "continued detention."

And then set free.

That would be the Pentagon run by "the Finest Secretary of Defense This Nation Has Ever Had’ right Dick?

*Once the detainees arrived in other countries, 205 of the 245 were either freed without being charged or were cleared of charges related to their detention at Guantanamo. Forty either stand charged with crimes or continue to be detained.

*Only a tiny fraction of transferred detainees have been put on trial. The AP identified 14 trials, in which eight men were acquitted and six are awaiting verdicts. Two of the cases involving acquittals — one in Kuwait, one in Spain — initially resulted in convictions that were overturned on appeal.

*The Afghan government has freed every one of the more than 83 Afghans sent home. Lawmaker Sibghatullah Mujaddedi, the head of Afghanistan's reconciliation commission, said many were innocent and wound up at Guantanamo because of tribal or personal rivalries.

*At least 67 of 70 repatriated Pakistanis are free after spending a year in Adiala Jail. A senior Pakistani Interior Ministry official said investigators determined that most had been "sold" for bounties to U.S. forces by Afghan warlords who invented links between the men and al-Qaida. "We consider them innocent," said the official, who declined to be named because of the sensitivity of the issue.

*All 29 detainees who were repatriated to Britain, Spain, Germany, Russia, Australia, Turkey, Denmark, Bahrain and the Maldives were freed, some within hours after being sent home for "continued detention."

But no hard feelings right?

"I can't wash the three long years of pain, trouble and humiliation from my memory," said Badarzaman Badar, an Afghan who was freed in Pakistan. "It is like a cancer in my mind that makes me disturbed every time I think of those terrible days."

25,000 American casualties; more than 600,000 dead civilians; half a trillion dollars; all for losing a war we started

"DAYUM, that's funny!"


(AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)

Ah yes, now I see the true brilliance of the plan

Boo-yah!

Cuban President Fidel Castro is very ill and close to death, Director of National Intelligence John D. Negroponte said yesterday.

"Everything we see indicates it will not be much longer . . . months, not years," Negroponte told a meeting of Washington Post editors and reporters.

So our brilliant plan of bringing down Castro by cutting him off in the mid-60s has worked out about as well as one could hope. It only took 40 fucking years plus before he came near the end of his natural life! Which, of course, hasn't happened yet.

Good job' 'murica, good fucking job! That REALLY worked! And it took a whole series of Ph.Ds from both parties to enact this gem?

By the way "months, not years" isn't that pretty much an old Rummy quote about Iraq?

But that's nothing compared to the Bush/McCain Iraq plan!

The Liar Sleeps Tonight

This may assist your enjoyment...or not.


Cheeeee-neyyyyeeee-eee-boom-eeeeee-booom-oh-yay!

A-talkin-point A-talkin-point A-talkin-point A-talkin-point
A-talkin-point A-talkin-point A-talkin-point A-talkin-point
A-talkin-point A-talkin-point A-talkin-point A-talkin-point
A-talkin-point A-talkin-point A-talkin-point A-talkin-point


In the White House, the bubbled White House
Decider sleeps alright
In the White House, the clueless White House
Decider sleeps alright.

I-Raq is great Painting the Schools I-Raq is great Painting the Schools
I-Raq is great Painting the Schools I-Raq is great Painting the Schools
I-Raq is great Painting the Schools I-Raq is great Painting the Schools
I-Raq is great Painting the Schools I-Raq is great Painting the Schools

Shiia village and Sunni village
No one sleeps tonight.
Kill the Shiia, blow up the Sunni
But Decider sleeps alright.

So wank away so wank away so wank away so wank away
So wank away so wank away so wank away so wank away
So wank away so wank away so wank away so wank away
So wank away so wank away so wank away so wank away

Hush my Johnny, don't worry Johnny
Your policy I will bite
I'll bomb the Shiia, I'll bomb the Sunni
And I'll sleep again tonight

Words I really didn't need to read

OH MY GAWD, REAGAN'S BACK...and he's not wearing pants!

We are getting very excited.

And finally, a kicker, the usual Peggy Noonan misapplication of false history:

First the Clinton era left more than half the country appalled--deeply appalled, and ashamed--by its series of political, financial and personal scandals.

Yeah, that must be why if they were to run against each other, Bubba would kick George Bush Jr.'s ass.

Those who are never wrong Part Two

Rich Lowry (he may appear again) April 8, 2003:

Stop the lynching party! Donald Rumsfeld was briefly being pilloried as another Robert McNamara, the disgraced Vietnam-era secretary of defense who interfered with the military. With American tanks now in Baghdad, Rumsfeld criticism feels -- as the kids say -- like, so four days ago.

November 6, 2006:

...if there's one consistent lesson from our experience in Iraq, it is to avoid half-measures -- go to war with more troops, more deadly force and more vigor rather than less. Muddling through and hoping to succeed with just barely enough resources, is a fool's policy.

Summing it up

Juan Cole asks, what election?

The "surge" tactic is being generated by Rupert Murdoch's Weekly Standard and by Frederick W. Kagan and Bill Kristol, i.e. by the same plutocratic American Enterprise Institute (Likudnik Central) that brought you the Iraq War with champagne toasts in the first place.

Kagan has a recent book on Napoleon. Napoleon's most prominent characteristic was his willingness to waste his troops' lives lightly. On his return from Palestine in 1799, he even had some poisoned because they were ill with plague and he did not want to risk transporting them back to his HQ in Cairo. He took 54,000 men to Egypt in 1798; about half came back. His Russia campaign saw a similar dynamic, on a much larger scale.

Bush is the Napoleon of our age, trampling on whole peoples, a Jacobin Emperor mouthing the slogans of liberty and popular sovereignty while crushing and looting those he "liberated." And Kagan and Kristol (playing Talleyrand 1798) and Emperor Bush are readying a further slaughter of our US troops, 24,000 of whom have been killed or wounded, and of innocent Iraqis, 600,000 of whom have been killed by criminal and political violence since spring of 2003.

And you thought a mere election would make a difference. No one had to elect the American Enterprise Institute. No one needs to crown the emperor, he can do it himself. Welcome to Year 1 of the Empire.

That about sums it up. Oh those brilliant war enablers.

Query

By now, are the Jib-Jab people:

A. The Carrot-Tops of the Internet?

B. The Dane Cooks of the Internet?

C. The Dennis Millers of the Internet?

D. All of the Above?

E. None of the above describe accurately enough how tiresome they are?

Discuss.

Those who are never wrong Part One

Why listen to those who said stuff like this on March 24, 2003:

Bath Resistance [Stanley Kurtz]
The continuing resistance in Um Qasr and Basra is being led by Baath party zealots. We still don’t know for sure whether large elements of the Iraqi public will welcome us a liberators, but the presence of armed Baath party gangs in Un Qasr and Basra surely has a lot to do with why it hasn’t happened so far. That confirms the need to de-Baathify Iraq after the war. The current administration plan is to replace a few key administrators at the top, but otherwise rely on Baath party bureaucrats in a post-war Iraq. Those bureaucrats may not be quite as vicious as the Baathists now fighting in Um Qasr and Basra, but they will have the power to sabotage the American presence in Iraq just as powerfully as their gun-toting comrades are doing now.
Posted at 10:53 AM

For the Love of McCain

It appears that Washington's cool kids have a love of the same things as McCain:

They love them some more of Chimpy's failed war:

President Bush and Vice President Cheney met with the members of the Joint Chiefs of Staff yesterday at the Pentagon for more than an hour, and the president engaged his top military advisers on different options. The chiefs made no dramatic proposals but, at a time of intensifying national debate about how to solve the Iraq crisis, offered a pragmatic assessment of what can and cannot be done by the military, the sources said.

The chiefs do not favor adding significant numbers of troops to Iraq, said sources familiar with their thinking, but see strengthening the Iraqi army as pivotal to achieving some degree of stability. They also are pressing for a much greater U.S. effort on economic reconstruction and political reconciliation.

Of course, leading that call is Johnny stuffed cheeks, who if nothing else learned from Vietnam that adding troops slowly and in insignificant numbers always works.

Right?

Of course, the fact that both the public and the "generals on the ground" they love to quote so much disagree, matters not when the war they love so much can be continued on for a little while longer. After all it's not like they are risking anything.

McCain and the pundits also share one other thing (aside from a love of reacharounds) and that is their distaste for those fuckin' bloggers -- out there spouting off their opinions like they have a legal right to do so. The noive!

John McCain has made clear that he doesn’t like the blogosphere.

Now he has introduced legislation that would treat blogs like Internet service providers and hold them responsible for all activity in the comments sections and user profiles.

Sweet.

Shorter David Brooks

I pick the year's best essays the same way Bush picks out experts on Iraq Policy.

Somebody woke Assholestiltskin Up

Apparently, invading Iraq was the product of sleep apnea:

President Bush, just now at the Pentagon (emphasis added):

"I thank these men who wear our uniform for a very candid and fruitful discussion about how to secure this country and how to win a war that we now find ourselves in."

Because clearly he had absolutely nothing to do with it until now.

"Al-Hashemi?"

"That's like raw fish wrapped in the mari-ja-wana right? heh heh heh"
REUTERS/Jim Young


(joked used yesterday, but what the hey, still works)

Um, Yeah...

AP Photo/Hasan Sarbakhshian

Self-loathing, how's that working out for you?

Yes, congrats Iran, you've elected a bigger idiot than we did. It's a close call, but you win.

You know, and IF I may use a particularly inappropriate interjection at this time...JESUS CHRIST! Having this wankfest covered in any particular depth is depressing enough, but focusing in on a handful of the dumbest Jewish people on earth at a Holocaust deniers conference is worse than focusing in on the guy wearing the diaper at the gay pride parade. Look they're wearing fucking badges! Why not just stitch on a fucking Star of David and tattoo a number on your wrist?

But unsolicited emails are a-okay

To: Atta J. Turk

Greetings. My name is Mbago Shoenecki and my sixth cousin, once removed, was President of the Republic of Nigeria sometime in the 17th Century, look it up, it's in Wikipedia...really. I am writing to you to obtain your name, social security number, and various credit card numbers (expiration dates too please) because of the possibility you are an incredible imbecile. That may seem presumptuous of me, but then again, your nation did elect George W. Bush so the odds cannot be all that bad.

But even so, not fat chicks or gays.

The Age of Black Comedy

It's just one tragi-comedy after another. Fresh off some in the White House's lap saying 'Baker-Hamilton' waited too long, we find the White House delaying its "Plan for an ass-covering plan to blame the Democrats for losing their war" delayed until 2007.

A senior administration official said Mr. Bush had decided over the last two days to prolong the deliberations based on a concern that a pre-Christmas announcement might quickly be overtaken by events. That happened to Mr. Bush in late 2005 after he used a series of speeches to unveil a “Plan for Victory” in Iraq.

“The president knows he’s got only one shot at this speech,” said a senior administration official involved in the debate. “He didn’t want to make half-way announcements.”

How many times have we heard this particular line? That "Mr. Eloquent" is going to give a magical speech that gives us the cure to all his ills -- that as a result of his incredible speech we will have not only some non-defined "victory" but also our own private orgasm machine?

“Look, there is one camp — it is the camp that works for the president,” Mr. Snow said.

Well it is certainly 'camp'.

To steal from Patton Oswald, Bush & Cheney are once again trying to be the 'Dukes of Hazzard' and take the 'General Lee' and jump it right over yet another problem.

Trust, but verify

Victor Ruiz Caballero/Reuters

I don't mean to shock Jeff Greenfield or anything but

Mallard Fillmore's mugshot (via Tbogg)

hmmm...



Well, whaddya' know.

Quiz Bowl

Announcer: And now it's the game that allows the world's leaders to battle their wits, "International Quiz Bowl". And now here's the host of "International Quiz Bowl" Kofi Martindale!

Kofi: Welcome to our show ladies and gentlemen, live from the studios of the International Red Cross in Bern, Switzerland. Today we have two new contestants from different backgrounds, Don Pardo introduce us to our leaders.

Don: Thanks Kofi, our first contestant is the President of the United States, he describes his interests as baseball, pussy, and nachos, George "the Decider" Bush.

*tepid applause*

Kofi: Welcome, Mr. Bush.

Bush: I 'preciate bein' here.

Don: And our next contestent, he's the President of Iran, who describes his interests as soccer, fashion, and jew-baiting, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

*tepid applause*

Ahmadinejad: Tashakor, (tranlator: Thank you)

Kofi: Gentlemen, let us begin. As you know the rules of our game are quite simple. We ask a series of questions on a variety of topics and the individual who gets the most points is allowed to decry the loser's nation as either oppressive, corrupt, immoral, or part of some malevolent cabal. Let us begin. Our categories are:

"World History"
"Fashion Dos and Dont's"
"Sports"
"Finance"
"Nuclear Technology"
"Sandles"

Mr. Bush you won the coin toss back stage so you get to go first. Gentlemen hands on your buzzers.

*bzzzt*

Bush: heh heh heh.

Kofi: Mr. Bush you must wait for the question to be asked.

*bzzzt*

Ahmadinejad: "The jews?"

Bush: heh heh heh.

Kofi: You too must wait until the question is asked Mr. Ahmadinejad. Our first category is world history. Gentlemen, on September 1, 1939, the Second World War began with the invasion of this nation.

*bzzzt*

Mr. Ahmadninejad?

Ahmadinejad: This is all a lie. There was no invasion, it was manufactured by the Jews.

Kofi: I'm sorry, Mr. Ahmadinejad, but that is incorrect, this nation was actually invaded on September 1, 1939.

Ahmadinejad: Oh sure, you say that. You have many jews in Africa, no? There are many black jews are there not? Like Sammy Davis, Jr.

Bush: And Rod Carew!

Kofi: No, I'm sorry, yes there are black people who are jewish, but no the nation of "The Jews" was not invaded on September 1, 1939. Mr. Bush you have an opportunity to win the point.

Bush: *stares off into space*

Kofi: Any answer?

Bush: Um...Pearl Bailey?

Kofi: No, sorry Mr. Bush it is not Pearl Bailey. I think I know where you were trying to go, but I don't even want to think how you got where you ended up with your answer. The correct answer is Poland.

Bush: Heh heh heh, I forgot.

...and thus went the next two years, five weeks of Quiz Bowl...but the world survived and that was the point.

"They are just comfy winter coats"

Chock full o' energy

Just brimming with new ideas...

AFP/Tim Sloan

Well, at least Condi can look forward to her sort of husband's Christmas gift this year...

A $25 gift certificate at 'Sam Goody'.

AFP/Tim Sloan

Insert lame Ted Kennedy Joke here

Internalizing his lack of any real talent?

Hoosier Edward Bruce Tinsley, creator of the conservative comic strip Mallard Fillmore, was arrested in Columbus Dec. 4 and charged with operating a vehicle under the influence -- his second alcohol-related arrest in less that four months, according to the Bartholomew County Sheriff's Department.

Oh well, now he can go back to his real talent of being anti-Semitic.

You know

Jeff Greenfield usually wears a suit when he's on television, a suit and tie. But, in the case of Jeff Greenfield, he may be walking around with a sartorial time bomb. Ask yourself, is there any other major public figure who dresses the way he does? Why, yes. It is former German Chancellor Adolf Hitler, who, unlike most of his predecessors, seems to have skipped through enough copies of "GQ" to find the jacket-and-tie look agreeable.

And maybe that's not the comparison an asshole on the television really wants to evoke.

Press Release

Unmedicated Future Reenactments (as it is played out in her mind)

Late in the evening, Pam Atlas discovers her blind date is a Muslim.

Shorter Victor Davis Hanson

"Tommy Franks put black bars over the good parts of my war porn."

Victory and judicious political reform are not antithetical but go hand-in-glove, and we used to have officers who knew that and welcomed the idea that they alone could give peace and politics a chance. The only reason that we have had three successful elections in Iraq are the superb bravery and competence of U.S. troops that ensured safety and kept the killers away.

In general, Gen. Franks seemed hesitant in answering questions, unsure now how to explain his prior confidence that we were winning in Iraq, and apparently adamant that we not come home “prematurely” but unclear why that would be so or why we should believe it so.

One of the great strengths of this country once was that our battle commanders —Washington, Scott, Sherman, Grant, Pershing, Patton, Ridgeway, and Abrams — not only sought victory in the field, but often offered explanations of why we were fighting (cf. Sherman’s letters to John Bell Hood), why we would win in larger strategic and moral terms, and do so in ways that did not infringe on the prerogatives of civilian overseers. That too seems a casualty of the modern age.
Posted at 6:49 AM

There are many tragedies of this war, but making it worse are virtual cultists like Hanson who's cognative dissonance will enable Bush to continue the grinding of the war and increase the butcher's bill.

Ill conceived wars are not for the benefit of your hard-on Mr. Hanson.

Vanity Trip

What was the point of Rumsfeld's going to Iraq -- besides one last tax-payer supported vanity trip?

Granted, no one goes there for vacation, but to save your disasteriffic legacy -- so that the 3 cranks insane enough to praise you have one last piece of videotape, Rummy can play that game.

This asshole cannot disappear off into retirement fast enough.

Shrill

Krugman:

It’s now clear that there’s a fundamental error in the antigovernment ideology embraced by today’s conservative movement. Conservatives look at the virtues of market competition and leap to the conclusion that private ownership, in itself, is some kind of magic elixir. But there’s no reason to assume that a private company hired to perform a public service will do better than people employed directly by the government.

In fact, the private company will almost surely do a worse job if its political connections insulate it from accountability — which has, of course, consistently been the case under Mr. Bush. The inspectors’ report on Afghanistan’s police conspicuously avoided assessing DynCorp’s performance; even as government auditors found fault with Landstar, the company received a plaque from the Department of Transportation honoring its hurricane relief efforts.

Underlying this lack of accountability are the real motives for turning government functions over to private companies, which have little to do with efficiency. To say the obvious: when you see a story about failed outsourcing, you can be sure that the company in question is a major contributor to the Republican Party, is run by people with strong G.O.P. connections, or both.

When conservatives talk about the evils of government they use it as a justification to privatize bad service for the benefit of their contributors.

Reagan's favorite line used to be that the worst words in the english language were, "I'm from the government and I'm here to help."

Well, clearly the reality is this: "I'm here on a government contract, if I help you, it cuts down on my profit margin."

Yeah, Laura

Your sincerity is effin' palpable.

REUTERS/Mike Theiler

Justice is served

As a finger-puzzled G.W. Bush & spouse are placed in a Thai prison.


You know after Neil's underaged hooker business, you'd think the Bush family would avoid Thailand, but nooooooooo!

AP Photo/Pornchai Kittiwongsakul, Pool

Asshole

Rummy goes to Iraq to demonstrate to the troops that it really is all about him:

There’s not been a day since our country has been involved in this long struggle that I have not thought of those of you deployed around the world in foreign posts and battlefields, far from home, far from your friends and your loved ones.

This concern, of course, is demonstrated by his use of an "automatic" signature machine in condolence letters.

The way back machine

A few days ago a commenter on Atrios (I think it might have been "Smitty" but I can't remember) linked to an old picture that had been posted on this site. The requests for such a picture actually started more than two years ago by me.

But at this point, I think it's instructive to go back to January 2005, fresh off his "reelection" to the point where Bush was in his prime of lying or being delusional:

January 5, 2005:

Super-Uber Blogger Atrios, has this reference from the Nelson Report ... that Dear Lear is essentially only in favor of "happy talk".

Bush makes clear that all he wants are progress reports, where they exist, and those facts which seem to support his declared mission in Iraq...building democracy. "That's all he wants to hear about," we have been told. So "in" are the latest totals on school openings, and "out" are reports from senior US military commanders (and those intelligence experts still on the job) that they see an insurgency becoming increasingly effective, and their projection that "it will just get worse."

Our sources are firm in that they conclude this "good news only" directive comes from Bush himself; that is, it is not a trap or cocoon thrown around the President by National Security Advisor Rice, Vice President Cheney, and DOD Secretary Rumsfeld. In any event, whether self-imposed, or due to manipulation by irresponsible subordinates, the information/intelligence vacuum at the highest levels of the White House increasingly frightens those officials interested in objective assessment, and not just selling a political message.

It's coming...the ball-bearing moment:



Why doesn't he steal some of Pickle's Xanax?

Picture made for me by Gary at Bibbs Revenge (appears not to exist anymore)

Well, Arizona is the "land of the bypass" recipient

Jeebus:

AP Photo/Matt York

WASHINGTON (AFP) - A restaurant in the southwestern US state of Arizona that proudly admits to trying to finish off its customers has introduced a new item on its menu -- the "quadruple bypass burger".

The burger at the "Heart Attack Grill" restaurant is stacked with four beef patties, cheese, onions, tomatoes and fried bacon, and weighs in at only 8,000 calories, more than three times what the human body needs in one day.

Patrons who have no appetite for the "quadruple bypass burger" can opt for the "triple" (ed. pictured above) or "double-bypass".

"It's not good for one's health but it's only a joke," John Basso, who opened the restaurant 10 months ago, told AFP.

Customers who have room for more can also order French fries "fried in pure lard" and can purchase cigarettes off the menu. As a courtesy, the restaurant offers its "best customers" a wheelchair service to their cars by waitresses dressed in slinky nurses' outfits.

Next up, the brothel that brags openly about providing the clap.

Or the Administration that brags about wars it was losing and should never have fought.

Oh, guess I don't have to wait for that last one.'


"This is oouuuuuuuuuuuuuuur country"

Thanks redistricting

Louisiana's 2nd, is what I'd guess you'd call a really safe seat.

You can have $90,000 in your freezer and still you'll get to go back to Congress.

If I was Bill Jefferson, I'd aim higher. A safe district will let you hide bribe money, a really safe district will let you hide a body.

The Gift that will make 365 days feel like just one year!

The 2007 Republican National Character Counts Calendar.

A joint Watertiger, Atta J. Turk production.

You can click the sidebar to the left to order, or the stars and stripes.

Unpopular Books for Unpopular Children

Modified from AP Photo/Ron Edmonds

One Man's Vanity

Josh Marshall makes a good point here, but I do believe that this has been Atrios's line now for at least a couple years. I'm going to quote damn near the whole thing -- but Atrios's original point, what Marshall says here, what others, including me, have said over and over and over is once again occurring before our eyes, it is just that the press is finally saying it too:

White House advisers say Bush won't react in detail to the ISG report for several weeks, while he assesses it and awaits various internal government reports on the situation from his own advisers. Bush tells aides he doesn't want to "outsource" his role as commander in chief. Some Bush allies say this is a way to buy some time as the president tries to decide how to deal with rising pressure to alter his strategy in Iraq and hopes the critical media focus on the Iraq war will soften.

What a pitiful coward this man is. Maybe if I just sort of shuffle the papers a bit and clear my throat everybody will get off my case. That's his response.

Just above that passage there's this.

"We have a classic case of circling the wagons," says a former adviser to Bush the elder. "If President Bush changes his policy in Iraq in a fundamental way, it undermines the whole premise of his presidency. I just don't believe he will ever do that."

I'm not sure I've ever heard anything truer said on the whole sorry topic of this war. And it gets to the heart of the issue. He won't ever change course. Not because there's anyone who can't see that the present course is a catastrophe, but because changing course would cut the legs from under the collective denial of the president and his supporters.

We are staying in Iraq, as this failure gets even more disastrous, for one reason and one reason alone...

ONE MAN'S VANITY!!!

More American kids are going to die, and probably even more Iraqis will die in the future because of...

ONE MAN'S VANITY!!!

And all of this, the worst strategic disaster in American history, has occurred because of...

ONE MAN'S VANITY!!!

UPDATE:

The General shows the contributions the 'service-eligible' members of the Bush family are making during the Vanity War.


And one more, very appropriate 'compare & contrast' from Digby on how a blowjob is so much worse in Washington than starting and losing an illegal war:

Dear Me! These mandarins and court scribes, these lords and ladies of the beltway, took great umbrage at Bill Clinton's lack of deference to their completely phony bourgoise pretensions, and that simply was not done. So they crucified him.

Meanwhile, the very well bred cretinous moron who currently occupies the White House behaves like a disgusting pig in foreign capitals and is reputed to enjoy "fart" jokes in the oval office and has never been similarly derided for his uncouth ways. One can only speculate why that might be so.

And all these bluenosed hypocrites who excoriated Clinton for his lie ("I will not be lied to!") about a personal matter and complain that the office lost its moral authority, seem not to be personally exercized about the repeated, endless lies of the Bush administration that landed us in the most unnecessary, intractable foreign policy crisis in the nation's history. Broder and his snuff-snorting fellow courtiers aren't nattering on about how Junior "trashed the place." But then the only place he's trashed is the United States of America, where the silly peasants live --- and Iraq which is filled with a bunch of dirty foreigners. In the nation's capital everyone is perfectly happy because as far as they are concerned, the "right" people are in charge. And that's all that matters.

Sums it all up perfectly.

Someone get Pammy a Viking Helmet

Because she really needs to be in a Wagnerian Opera. She truly is the Laurie Anderson of NeoCon performance art.

Here she is, performing a diatribe in the "John Bolton Gymnasium". Pay special attention at about the 4:15 mark because it is then that self-parody becomes sublime. At least until, once again, the Stockholm Syndrome kicks in at the 5 minute mark.



Leftards? C'mon you can do better than that.

Wang

And did it hang to the right?

A former House page told the committee that he sent Kolbe, to his personal email account, a copy of an instant message he received from Foley in 2001 in which Foley had "made reference to the page's penis size."

Oh well, I guess the phrase "8-inches cut" hadn't been invented yet.

Meanwhile in the land where the "penis" is a topic of unrequited mystery:

"Even their women have to come across like Vince Lombardi." [Kathryn Jean Lopez]
Alec Baldwin on us and them (right and left, or the reverse in his case) and Jeane Kirkpatrick. — "Vince"

Posted at 3:46 PM

Come to think of it, I've never seen K-Lo and Fuzzy Thurston in the same room.

They know losers when they hear them

It is to laugh:

ISG Media Moments [Kathryn Jean Lopez]
The one bright spot of this week for me was when, about this time yesterday, I watched on CSPAN's Washington Journal as Alan Simpson and Leon Panetta looked very unhappy as the host read from our editorial on the report.
Posted at 7:32 AM

Let me guess the source of their displeasure:

1. The grammar;
2. The idiocy;
3. Three the bankrupt policy arguments;
4. The draft dodging;
5. "Is this coming from the 'We're Winning' people?";
6. The grammar.

"It is time to say it unequivocally: We are winning in Iraq."
- Rich "Eligible to Serve" Lowry, April 27, 2005.

You may notice on that now tragically laughable cover, the name Mark Steyn, TBogg takes notice of his most recent appearance and proposes an adequate way of resolving Steyn's complaints:

According to neo-hobbit Mark Steyn, the press is doing a piss-poor job reporting on the war because they are "hunkered down" in the Green Zone and so are not getting out the good news that "schools are open, hospitals are open" (hospitals that are overflowing, I might add) throughout Iraq. (Watch the video)

Perhaps Fox News would be willing to send Mr. Steyn to Iraq where he could live outside the Green Zone and report on all of the good stuff that is happening there. They could call it 24 Hours. Three hours of running and twenty-one to track down all the body parts....

Oh mah

As I heard Milbank say on Olbermann last night:

Minutes after the Iraq Study Group placed an improvised explosive device beneath the Bush administration's Iraq policy yesterday, panel member Lawrence Eagleburger was asked how President Bush reacted to the recommendations.

"His reaction was, 'Where's my drink?' " the former secretary of state cracked after the commission's White House visit and Capitol Hill news conference. Reaching for his own cola, Eagleburger continued: "He was a little loaded. It was early in the morning, too, you know."

The retired diplomat certainly did not mean that the president had fallen off the wagon. But if any event would call for a stiff one, this was it: A bipartisan group of elder statesmen -- some of them friends of Bush's father, no less -- had just concluded that the Iraq war, the centerpiece of Bush's presidency, was a disaster with no easy way out.

Shrill it!

Krugman:

Shortly after U.S. forces marched into Baghdad in 2003, The Weekly Standard published a jeering article titled, “The Cassandra Chronicles: The stupidity of the antiwar doomsayers.” Among those the article mocked was a “war novelist” named James Webb, who is now the senator-elect from Virginia.

The article’s title was more revealing than its authors knew. People forget the nature of Cassandra’s curse: although nobody would believe her, all her prophecies came true.

So I went back and looked at "The Weekly Standard" article and lo and behold:

But being the soul of magnanimity and restraint, we're not going to do any such thing. Instead, THE SCRAPBOOK is going to run through the streets, laughing hysterically at all the people who were so blinded by hatred of President Bush--or general anti-Americanism, or their own sheer foolishness--that they continued to prophesy doom even after the war had begun and was already being won. People like a certain former U.N. weapons inspector turned Baath party apologist turned peace-movement celebrity:

"The United States is going to leave Iraq with its tail between its legs, defeated....We do not have the military means to take over Baghdad and for this reason I believe the defeat of the United States in this war is inevitable. . . . [W]e will not be able to win this war, which in my opinion is already lost.
--Scott Ritter, on a South African radio station, March 25, 2003

...

"This invasion of Iraq, if it goes off, will join the Bay of Pigs, Vietnam, Desert One, Beirut, and Somalia in the history of military catastrophe. What will set it apart, distinguishing it for all time, is the immense--and transparent--political stupidity."

--Chris Matthews, San Francisco Chronicle, August 25, 2002

"Iraqis hate the United States government even more than they hate Saddam, and they are even more distrustful of America's intentions than Saddam's. . . . [I]f President Bush thinks our invasion and occupation will go smoothly because Iraqis will welcome us, then [he] is deluding himself."

--New York Times columnist Nicholas D. Kristof, October 4, 2002

...

You've got your war novelist, phoning it in from his experiences in Vietnam, 30 years ago:

"Visions of cheering throngs welcoming them as liberators have vanished in the wake of a bloody engagement whose full casualties are still unknown. . . . Welcome to hell. Many of us lived it in another era. And don't expect it to get any better for a while."

--James Webb, in the New York Times, March 30, 2003

...

"Gruesome days for the German foreign minister: Every morning at nine, [Joschka Fischer's] staff briefs him on the situation in Iraq in the ministry's underground situation room. His worst fears are coming true: The U.S. military appears to be stuck in its tracks in the desert, and civilian casualties are multiplying. It has never been so painful to have been in the right, murmurs the foreign minister, with a worried look on his face. . . . President Chirac accuses the Americans of having made both a strategic and a political mistake: 'They thought they would be greeted as liberators and that the regime would collapse like a house of cards. But they underestimated Iraqi patriotism. They would have been better off listening to us.'"

--Der Spiegel, March 31, 2003

This man directs the "University of Texas Inequality Project," where "our work so far has emphasized the use of Thiel's T statistic to compute inequality indexes from industrial data." In his spare time, he foretells the near-term deaths of millions:

"If history is a guide, you cannot subdue a large and hostile city except by destroying it completely. Short of massacre, we will not inherit a pacified Iraq. . . . To support 'the groundwork' for this effort is to support a holocaust, quite soon, against Iraqi civilians and also against the troops on both sides. That is what victory means."

--James K. Galbraith on the American Prospect website, April 1, 2003

And that is not all, there are many more the Weekly Standard laughs at and mocks and in so doing look like the incredible buffoons they are, buffoons with blood on their hands.

Although I did learn one thing, Bill Kristol and Fred Barnes are apparently getting married at sea this summer:

"Our Hearts will go on"

Shut Up

The Wiser Old men know when the merely "Wise Men" of Washington have fucking blown it:

Baker displayed little of the deference witnesses customarily show senators. At one point, he impatiently interrupted Lieberman's questioning about whether Iran would engage in talks. "We say it in the report, Senator -- it's in the report," he said, noting that the United States conferred with Tehran about events in Afghanistan.

Hamilton also told the senators that they are part of the problem. "I, frankly, am not that impressed with what the Congress has been able to do," said the 34-year House veteran. "I think the Congress has been extraordinarily timid in its exercise of its constitutional responsibilities on the question of warmaking and conducting war."

The bottom line in the ISG is that Bush and his enablers (see Lieberman, Joe & McCain, John) have managed to lose this war that should never have been started. We are now merely trying to pick the least worse loss. What has to be and should be considered is the loss of American soldiers (and Iraqi civilians) simply because we are postponing or making worse the disaster that is our own doing.

Never let a Non-Sequitur prevent you from making an ad hominem attack

What the fuck?

Compare and Contrast [Mark Krikorian]
We shouldn't let Pearl Harbor Day pass without contrasting the conduct of America's Muslims with that of Japanese Americans during WWII, who experienced treatment CAIR can only dream about, and yet covered themselves in glory fighting for their country.

Posted at 5:18 PM

So bigotry is okay as long as "Operation Malkin" doesn't go all out, and never mind the fact that there are many, many Muslims serving honorably in the American Armed Forces.

No, let's bring up Pearl Harbor Day to excoriate those members of an "inferior" faith.

UGH!

Somewhere perhaps

There are people who ask the question, "Where can we find a sex advice columnist that makes me feel more confident in how I relate to my partner?"

Well, for those people, those poor, poor, pathetic people, such a column now exists.

Ladies and gentlemn, a sex column for naive, pathetic, self-loathing virgins.

I give you, K-Lo's Sex Buffet! An advice column you'd never think of writing to, but for me.

You're welcome.

Doughy

Ah yes, the long-walk off the short-pier that is Jonah ("You fight for me") Goldberg. It is bad enough that Rich Lowry who has been right about fuck-all in Iraq chirps in on the ISG, but then Goldberg throws in with his own wisdom, wisdom he probably threw together over his latte this morning:

By the standards and practices set up by Baker, the entire report represents the least objectionable ideas acceptable to the most unreasonable panelist. If Leon Panetta thought something was a bad idea, it got massaged until he liked it. If Ed Meese objected, it got massaged, or deleted, until he was happy. By what standard does a proposition become wiser or a greater model for the nation — — simply because ten people like it instead of nine? If the panel unanimously recommended that all cats in Iraq wear sweaters and that chickens be forced to dance the Mamba, would no one dare challenge the moral authority of their unanimity?

Y'know whatever.

Here's a proposal, and not the first time it has been made by me or by many others, those of you who were boosters and apologists for the Bush War from the beginning now is the time for you to...

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

In fact, Pantload owes an apology to Juan Cole, his readers, everyone on fucking earth and what is left of his conscience for this statement made on February 8, 2005:

I do think my judgment is superior to his [ed. Juan Cole] when it comes to the big picture. So, I have an idea: Since he doesn't want to debate anything except his own brilliance, let's make a bet. I predict that Iraq won't have a civil war, that it will have a viable constitution, and that a majority of Iraqis and Americans will, in two years time, agree that the war was worth it.

How about you back away from pontificating against anything during the rest of, let's say, for-fucking-ever?

There's wrong, and then there is Jonah Goldberg level wrong.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fucking adorable"

"How I loaaaaaaaaaaaaaaathe you"

Undoubtedly George Lucas approves of the Ewok outfit.


"Hey, howz 'bout you bring your jugular within' reach?"


REUTERS/Alexander Natruskin (RUSSIA)




Well, I'm no vet, but you might want to go and get that mole checked.

REUTERS/Alexander Demianchuk (RUSSIA)

Well goodness

Sadly No, citing Hugh (cannot be linked to) Hewitt, describes the front-line boy's critique of the ISG:

Of the 43 “former officials and experts” consulted –... the ISG did not find it necessary to talk with, say, Victor Davis Hanson, Lawrence Wright, Robert Kaplan, Mark Steyn, Michael Ledeen, Reuel Marc Gerecht, or Christopher Hitchens.

Yeah, because all those guys have been right about, um, let's see, NOTHING since October 2002 when the war-drums began beating in earnest.

Although, we do have videotaped evidence of events on the day Hitch was set to be interviewed by the ISG:


And further, we know why Ledeen, Davis-Hanson, Steyn, and Kaplan were unavailable as well:

Less Known History

There was a worthy story in the Des Moines Register yesterday. Those of us who live here say that a lot less since Gannett took over the paper a generation ago. However, it tells a story of the world then and the world now and how it is interpreted.

Service in wars is almost mythological in the Midwest, especially in this state. Iowa had an incredible volunteer rate in both the Civil War and the First World War. In the second it is the home state of the Sullivan Brothers, all five of whom volunteered for service in the Navy less than a month after Pearl Harbor with the stipulation they all serve together. Famously, they all died less than a year later off Guadalcanal when their cruiser was sunk. The story of the Sullivans inspired the story of 'Saving Private Ryan', needing to save the sole surviving Iowa brother in the wake of D-Day.

But other families also served, such as the Patten family of Lake City, Iowa. A family that had 8 brothers AND their father enlisting in the Navy. Seven, including the dad, in advance of Pearl Harbor -- six served on the USS Nevada and all survived. In fact, all nine survived the war despite many serving on two ships that were sunk (the Nevada and the USS Lexington).

This gives rise to one of my pet peeves of post-hoc historical revision, the old bromide that before Pearl Harbor the nation was uniformly against entering the war. By early December 1941 that was not the case at all. The 'America First' movement had all but shot its wad by this time. Pearl Harbor was just the catalyst to sway the remaining portion of the populace that was still opposed or on the fence.

While the sentiment at the beginning of the Second World War was uniformly opposed to intervention, the tide began turning with the fall of France and the attacks on Great Britain. When Hitler's military entered into the Balkans and then attacked the Soviet Union the political potency of America First began to substantially subside. By the the late Summer of 1941 the nation was coming to believe that military intervention was likely inevitable, the military build up was proceeding rapidly. It was then that Charles Lindbergh, easily the most famous of America First's members made his infamous speech (ironically in Des Moines) on September 11, 1941 (more irony).

It is not difficult to understand why Jewish people desire the overthrow of Nazi Germany. The persecution they suffered in Germany would be sufficient to make bitter enemies of any race. No person with a sense of the dignity of mankind can condone the persecution the Jewish race suffered in Germany. But no person of honesty and vision can look on their pro-war policy here today without seeing the dangers involved in such a policy, both for us and for them.

Instead of agitating for war the Jewish groups in this country should be opposing it in every possible way, for they will be among the first to feel its consequences. Tolerance is a virtue that depends upon peace and strength. History shows that it cannot survive war and devastation. A few farsighted Jewish people realize this and stand opposed to intervention. But the majority still do not. Their greatest danger to this country lies in their large ownership and influence in our motion pictures, our press, our radio, and our government.

Thus making Lindbergh a charter member of FoxNews -- "damn that liberal jewish media" theme. This was the death shriek of 'America First'. Even then, Lindbergh's statements produced outrage and turned the tide further against isolationism. Of course, the Pattens are further analogous evidence of the same.

Modern war-boosters often use a combination of the 'America First' movement as well as Chamberlain's 'appeasement' of Hitler as justifications for war now. But perhaps the proper analogy is to look at how the 'America First' movement was propelled most substantially by the American Right, and that Chamberlain was a Tory (i.e. 'conservative'). Maybe we should propose that conservatives are consistently WRONG on the subject of war? Nevermind which side of the political spectrum a certain corporal, and fascist, from Linz, Austria fell upon.

Pissing and Moaning

AND LYING while people die.

WASHINGTON - U.S. military and intelligence officials have systematically underreported the violence in Iraq in order to suit the Bush administration's policy goals, the bipartisan Iraq Study Group said...

Specifically it states on pages 94 and 95 of the report:

In addition, there is significant underreporting of the violence in Iraq. The standard for recording attacks acts as a filter the iraq study group report to keep events out of reports and databases. A murder of an Iraqi is not necessarily counted as an attack. If we cannot determine the source of a sectarian attack, that assault does not make it into the database. A roadside bomb or a rocket or mortar attack that doesn’t hurt U.S. personnel doesn’t count. For example, on one day in July 2006 there were 93 attacks or significant acts of violence reported. Yet a careful review of the reports for that single day brought to light 1,100 acts of violence.

Good policy is difficult to make when information is systematically collected in a way that minimizes its discrepancy with policy goals.

Let's revisit all the lying and complaining about the Lancet report of 420,000 to 710,000 dead shall we?

I tell ya' the bigotry is thick out there today

And now the wisdom of Mona Charon:

Interpreter [Mona Charen]

Last week I attended a concert at the Kennedy Center and saw something I'd never seen before — an interpreter for the deaf stage right. Is there some rational explanation for this that I'm missing?
Posted at 7:52 AM

Yeah, Mona, what you are missing, aside from the "decency" gene, is that the rest of us don't think deaf people should stay locked away from the rest of the fucking world.

Jeebus!

UPDATE: And like Ann Althouse, if at first you look like a moron, show those who question you that you can really dig that hole deeper...

From a Reader [Mona Charen]

I am the only hearing member in my family, i.e. my mother, father and two brothers are deaf.
The deaf can feel the music, the interpreter simply signs the words. Does that answer
your question?

Chuck Drolsbaugh

If you say so. Look, I am sympathetic to anyone who has to endure a disability. It's heartbreaking. Think of poor Beethoven. But I just cannot imagine that feeling the vibrations of music is worth the price of admission.

Look, it is quite simple, IF a deaf person wants to go to a performance, that is their goddamned right, and if the theatre accommodates them, terrific. If you are distracted by some person in the far corner of the stage, that is your fucking problem, NOT THEIRS!

"Shut up bitch and make me a sammich!"

Five words that should never be repeated again:

Christopher Hitchens on Women & Comedy.

In any case, my argument doesn't say that there are no decent women comedians. There are more terrible female comedians than there are terrible male comedians, but there are some impressive ladies out there. Most of them, though, when you come to review the situation, are hefty or dykey or Jewish, or some combo of the three.

Nice, now here's a little piece of comedy for Hitchens.

Go drink yourself to death.
*rim shot*

Fez tip the good Roger Aisles.

UPDATE: I suspected that some folks with experience in the field would not take kindly to this (go figure) and Watertiger gives the drunken popinjay the proper smackdown.

Suggestions and Additions

CNN says the Iraq Study Group (ooooh, I hope they don't grade on a curve) will report:

• Panel will urge moving most U.S. troops out of combat roles by early 2008
• Report will say new initiative on Israel-Palestinian peace process needed
• Group will recommend that U.S. talk directly with Iran and Syria
• Blunt warning: Mission will fail unless White House, Congress work together

Well, here are the replies of Bush, as given in, oh about an hour:

• Panel will urge moving most U.S. troops out of combat roles by early 2008

"Let's compromise. Six months past early 2009. NEXT!"

• Report will say new initiative on Israel-Palestinian peace process needed

"I resolve to tell the brown ones to fuck off and stop suicidering, because when they suicide they can no longer feel mah scorn."

• Group will recommend that U.S. talk directly with Iran and Syria

"Nopes."

• Blunt warning: Mission will fail unless White House, Congress work together

"I keep telling them what they are supposed to think, and if they disagree, well they aren't coming together. Not my problem."

And now trite celebrity bullshit

Sorry, but cannot let this one pass (it's early in the morning and I need material):

PAMELA Anderson says she will “think things through a little more” after her brief marriage to singer Kid Rock...

Sounds like a job requiring a traditional wedding sack.

Meanwhile, Pam has just received a Fax...

Not quite

Josh Marshall has it mostly right when he says:

Here's a Jew who says that no Jew should be able to serve in the US Congress unless he or she is willing to have a copy of the New Testament on hand when they take the oath of office. I'm not sure if one can appreciate this without having the context of Prager's general sanctimony and cloying ethnic self-abnegation. But it's hard for me not to imagine Prager as one of Jews in the Medieval Europe arguing that living in the Ghetto and maybe wearing these funny hats might actually be a good thing after all. I'll refrain from invoking the toxic parallels of more recent vintage.

Actually, at the first sign of any real difficulty or oppression, Praeger would have flippin' converted singing the praises of the King of Castille. He's all but converted now.

Listen you can hear the freeper head's 'assplodin''

Oh Lordy,

Mary Cheney, the vice president's openly gay daughter, is pregnant. She and her partner of 15 years, Heather Poe, are "ecstatic" about the baby, due in late spring, said a source close to the couple...

And, oh those whacky Republicans...

...In November, Virginia voters passed a state constitutional amendment banning gay marriage and civil unions; state law is unclear on whether Poe could have full legal rights as a parent of Cheney's child. The circumstances of the pregnancy will remain private, said the source close to the couple. This is the first child for both.

I'm guessing the circumstances involved the hunting trip to South Dakota she and Big Time took together. Mary Cheney got pregnant at Wall Drug. I thought you just got ice water there?


Picture from here.

UPDATE:
This just in, Whoever posted this is one sick, twisted individual. And I should know.

How did this person pass the bar?

Let alone secure a teaching post at a highly regarded University?

The pictures of Jose Padilla being led to the dentist in leg shackles and blackout goggles have provoked outrage and disgust and bafflement. Why the goggles? What's the point?

Althouse has an answer:

Perhaps there is a fear that he will communicate in code by blinking.

And upon being informed that this is, in fact, completely absurd, she becomes characteristically petulant:

I'm not saying Padilla deserves to be treated the way he has over the years, but I am responding to the assertion that there is absolutely no conceivable reason for blindfolding him. Plainly, I have refuted that.

The floor doesn't get any lower at the Stupid Building than this.

Althouse's students must read her blog and others commenting on her sub-Peggy Noonan level intellectual farts and laugh themselves silly.

Yeah, it's just like that

The stupid leading the more stupid.

People who don't know fuck all about sex, should not give sex advice.

Lopez: What’s your realistic message to young people?

Eden: I don’t recommend my book to teenagers — it’s too mature for them. Besides, there are countless books for them on abstinence, while there is only one for women in their 20s and 30s — mine. But if I had to give them a message, I would tell teenage girls that holding onto their virginity is really holding on to their hope, their optimism, and their wonder. Having premarital sex makes you cynical really quick — and then you find that the kind of man who would make a great husband isn’t attracted to a woman whose sexual experiences have given her a hard shell.

Remember "ladies" sex is just like shaving.

You know, ignorance and stupidity is just like venereal disease, IT FUCKING BURNS!

You know what kind of men are attracted to the kind of women discussed above? Fucking objectifying ones, that will hold out any minor error or mistake you ever make over your head for the rest of your fucking life. Some smug, morally superior prick that thinks you should get the fuck in the kitchen and make him a sandwich.

Word of Advice, stay away from the Heritage Foundation's Annual 'Progressive Supper'

Neanderthals Were Cannibals, Study Confirms



And the GEICO representative was never seen again.

"Tut, tut, it looks like lame"

Richard Cohen dithering in the hiz house, in summary:

What Jim Webb did was wrong and gives me the vapors. In Washington you have to be tolerant of morons and war criminals. After all, how else do I keep this cushy job?

Oh, wait, that didn't come out quite right.

To quote my favorite philosopher, "How wuuuude".

Cohen, for one, is surely glad he politely went along with this war.

Embarassing "Bush Moments" of the Future

George "White Nose" Bush.

I have no son

"Well except for Marvin, who doesn't do much, but I'll take what I can get."

"Washington can be a tough town at times and there is nothing better than hearing a loving voice on the end of the phone call occasionally and so I check in with Mother and Dad," Bush said.

Yes, what could be better than caring nurturer Babs Bush?

Asked whether he consults constantly with his father, Bush said: "No ... He understands what I know, that the level of information I have relative to the level of information most other people have, including himself, is significant and that he trusts me to make decisions."...

...Asked to comment on widespread view that his father's influence was coming to bear on his administration, Bush insisted: "I am the commander-in-chief."

What a pathetic jerk.

Bolton resigns from UN

Pamela at Atlas Juggs gets the news:

Who Are We?

From TPM, we have these reports from Isikoff and the NYT that ought to shock any decent human being. Proof that the Bush years have been very bad indeed, that the fish rotting from the head phenomenon must be true. What is so ugly about it is that the treatment of detainees was specifically authorized by our Chimperor and all his loyal soldiers including, Rumsfeld and Gonzalez. And while it was going on this do-nothing Congress stood by and watched while the Executive branch flushed our mores right down the toilet.

The World is WORSE off without Saddam Hussein

Ah, the constant Right-Wing talking point, shoved in our face ever since it became apparent in the late Summer of 2003 that not only had the mission not been accomplished, but not even considered.

I'm sure that Kofi Annan doesn't spend anytime at all considering what Little Green Footballs thinks of him...which is good because after all not only is he a "ferrener", but he's from the "UN" and he's "brown". Three strikes and your a jihadist.

Nevertheless, there is more than a little truth in what he says:

The level of violence in Iraq is "much worse" than that of Lebanon's civil war, outgoing U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan said in an interview aired Monday.

Speaking to the British Broadcasting Corp., Annan agreed that the average Iraqi's life is worse now than it was under Saddam Hussein and called the situation in the country "extremely dangerous."

"Given the level of violence, the level of killing and bitterness and the way that forces are arranged against each other, a few years ago, when we had the strife in Lebanon and other places, we called that a civil war; this is much worse," Annan said.

Other than gettin' Saddam's gun, there is little that Bush has accomplished to make him "feel good". Which is why 44 out of 45 historians agree, "he sucks".

Happy Holidays

Let's just say this is the best they can do for a Christmas Card this year...though I believe I shall have others forthcoming.

From respectively, AFP/Mike Theiler & REUTERS/Larry Downing

A little old but still noteworthy

This information was first posted on a blog mid last week about the same time that George Will decided to edit history with the same panache he stole briefing books for Presidential Debates but it is important to put the Webb-Bush encounter into context.

A quirky individualist who wants no part of the phony collegiality of Washington, Webb was rightly insulted when Bush pressed him in that bullying way—“That’s not what I asked you”—trying to force the conversation back to Webb’s son. Webb could have asked how the Bush girls are doing, partying their way across Argentina. He could have told Bush he was worried about his son; the vehicle next to him was blown up recently, killing three Marines. Given the contrast between their respective offspring, Webb showed restraint.

As the original blog post asserted, it is quite likely that Bush knew of this event, and new that Webb's son is deep in the shit. What class, biggest fucking asshole without a blog (or hiding in a cave) on earth.

You know Bush can avoid Cindy Sheehan or any number of his bosses (aka "citizens") but he's going to have difficultly avoiding a Navy Cross winner who is the Senator from Virginia.

And I hope George Will have the fucking vapors about it repeatedly.

And the achievements continue to mount

Gives you real confidence about training the Iraqis doesn't it?

Five years after the fall of the Taliban, a joint report by the Pentagon and the State Department has found that the American-trained police force in Afghanistan is largely incapable of carrying out routine law enforcement work, and that managers of the $1.1 billion training program cannot say how many officers are actually on duty or where thousands of trucks and other equipment issued to police units have gone.

What silly people our leadership and its enablers are. Well, silly but for the fact they've gotten tens of thousands killed needlessly, spent our children's future on a disastrous war that has only made things worse. Pissed on the Constitution and played on the base fears of millions of mouth-breathers. Other than that silly.

Forget the Sweet Smell of Success

Try the putrid stench of unmitigated disaster.

President Bush and his top advisors fanned out across the troubled Middle East over the last week to showcase their diplomatic initiatives to restore strained relationships with traditional allies and forge new ones with leaders in Iraq.

But instead of flaunting stronger ties and steadfast American influence, the president's journey found friends both old and new near a state of panic...

They still have two years to make it worse.

Ugh.

For all you angst ridden post-pubescents

1970 when IMO they were the greatest rock band to ever bestride the earth. YMMV.

Coup de Grâce

Scout Prime over at First Draft writes of private insurers bailing, or getting ready to bail, on New Orleans. This, as you might expect is a death blow to rebuilding from a disaster.

What is truly galling is the basis for the decision, the rebuilding of the levee system as determined by the Bush Administration (to rebuild them pretty much to the standards they had before, i.e. not strong enough for Cat 4 or 5 storms). Little reported by the national press, who have clearly grown tired of reporting about New Orleans the ramifications of this are monstrous to one of America's most significant cities.

Disgusting.

Enjoying the Schadenfreude

I'm not a professional historian, merely an amateur history enthusiast. Nevertheless, I still find myself delighted by the debate going forth in the Washington Post the last couple days.

Respected historian Eric Foner declared Bush as "The Worst President" ever, surpassing the previous standard bearers of all stripes, whether it was the double curse of Pierce/Buchanan, the pathetic John Tyler, the malevolent Nixon and the exemplars of the Peter Principle in American Life, Ulysses Grant and Warren Harding.

No, Bush has passed them all according to Foner because, quite rightly, he observes Bush has managed to have all of their underlying faults in one twitchy, shallow, oedipal package.

And now more historians come forth to lend their opinions as to whether the Chimperor Disgustus is the worst. The results are, considering the circumstances, hilarious.

David Greenberg says it's a close call, but Bush only comes in SECOND WORST.

Douglas Brinkley chimes in, that Bush is a modern day Hoover and that he is only THIRD WORST.

Michael Lind says nah, only "FIFTH WORST".

The strongest in the Bush camp? Vincent Cannato whose only defense for Bush is that he might suck less after a couple decades have passed. Hoping for a "Harry Truman" from Bush is pretty thin gruel -- as Harry Truman were he still alive would no doubt tell you. Can you imagine how "Mr. Give 'em Hell" would respond to Bush. Oh, Lordy, it would be beautiful! Bill O'Reilly and George Will would have to be hospitalized with the vapours.

When the strongest defense of Bush is the meagre, "we won't know the full measure of his suckitude for years" it must make Karl Rove feel all tingly.

Blood Money

You know it starts out as a scathing indictment of day-to-day life in Baghdad:

EVERYONE seems to be desperate for money to cope with the insecurities of life in Baghdad these days, so Dr Salim Jawad was not surprised when a hospital porter took him to one side and asked whether he would be interested in making some cash.

Jawad, a busy surgeon and a Sunni, thought he was going to be urged to smuggle drugs out of the building so that they could be sold on the street...

But it gets worse:

...But the brutal proposition from the porter Ali, a Shi’ite from the Sadr City suburb of the capital, was far more shocking.

For every patient the doctor identified from the predominantly Sunni provinces of Diyala and Anbar and from the Adhamiyah district of Baghdad, he was told, he would be paid $300 (£151).

Jawad realised that he was being invited to pass death sentences on patients at the Medical City hospital in return for swift and surreptitious payments.

Thank you mighty warlord George Walter Booosh.

How much would you pay?

Okay, hegemonians, non-hegemonians, etc.

Apparently the GOP is willing to sell a calendar extolling the merits of the Chimperor Disgustus for $25.

Would you be willing to pay less, for Watertiger and my "GOP Character Counts Calendar 2007"?

We would like to know before undertaking the investment you see.

Thanks.

Hey God,

I'm fairly confident you aren't listening to little old me, given that I doubt you exist and all...but just in case...

You know it's bad enough that a Dennis Prager can't read the 10 commandments, especially #9 (or #8 if you hang that way) about bearing false witness.

But couldn't you have taken the time to have a commandment stating:

"Though shall not behave like a gigantic prick?"

I mean that one alone would have probably been pretty good for society as a whole. Hell, a commandment like that might have made someone like Prager or George Bush swear off of you entirely.

Great Post

Yesterday by Glenn Greenwald on Friedman (third tenor in the Barbershop Quartet). This portion in particular was telling:

But tragically, there is nothing unique about Tom Friedman. What drives him is the same mentality that enabled the administration's invasion of Iraq and, so much worse, it is the mentality that is keeping us there and will keep us there for the indefinite future. We stay in Iraq in pursuit of goals we know are fantasies, because to do otherwise requires the geniuses and serious establishment analysts to accept responsibility for what they have done -- and that is, by far, the most feared and despised outcome.

We are more than just prisoners of George Bush II, his Chimperial Heinous. We are also prisoners of an entire pundit class who, in Atrios's words, is still hopeful that under all the disastrous pile of shit is a pony yearning to prove them right.

War continues to be the measuring stick to them of who has a big penis and who doesn't. Even guys like Murtha, Webb and Kerry who actually fought in the shit are emasculated because they deign to call the war the fucking disaster it is when compared to sniveling real-life cowards who hid from military service and then prove their "manhood" by saying somebody else who should die to make them not look bad.

They will not be, but these cover-my-ass please pundits should be mocked during their never ending television appearances -- and then shunned.

Okay, this is a bit disturbing

Holy Mancrush...



No shortage of innuendo either.

Shorter Stanley Kurtz

Josh Marshall was wrong when he said I'm blaming the American people for not having the "guts" to win in Iraq.

No, no, it's far crazier than that. It's really the fault of the liberals, because in opposing the war, they made Bush lie about Iraq and its costs from the get go.

Fucking dirty hippies!

Well, it is one the topics of the week

So how about a little musical salute to Mitt Romney's undergarments?
(to the tune of "Walking in our Winter Underwear)

Doorbells ring - in the mornin’? It's our "Mission" for Implorin'.
That Mitt's Number One for replacin' God's son!
Presidin' in his Mormon Underwear.

He's good lookin' there's no denying, for his pants K-Lo's tryin'.
But he's purer than Christ, and at least twice as nice!

Posin' in his Mormon underwear.

On FoxNews Sean can build us a strawman,
then pretend that Mormons are okay.
People will say, "Yeah, but they're all freaks, man!"
Hey at least the Mormons aren't gay.

Later on, we’ll conspire as we dream by the fire.

As snug as a bug in an Osmond girl's rug!
Touchin’ Mitt's open Mormon underwear.

Fez-tip to Watertiger for her help with the flow of the tune.

Shorter Jonah Goldberg

When I hid behind my wife & kid as a reason not to go fight in Iraq, I was really just following Donald Rumsfeld's fantastic master plan. Damn, I'm a fine patriot!

Good to know

That Mickey Rooney is still alive.

(AP Photo/ Anupam Nath/File)

Patronize much?

Nice headline there AP:

Desperate no more: Eva Longoria engaged

Because we all know that women cannot be satisfied and truly successful unless they are married to a man -- all women NEED to be married in order to feel good about themselves. It must be true, after all, not being a woman all I have to go by is your headline. I know it's meant to be a play on her show's title, but c'mon.

Oh, and just a tip, DO NOT click on the "discuss" options in regard to that story -- or you'll want to just kill yourself, it is that depressing.

Also betraying us in the "War on Christmas"

The General finds America's Alfred Dreyfus, who is a traitor despite her excellent cookie recipes!

Don't blame me, I'm just a cheerleader

I’m Charles Krauthammer, right-wing pundit and I can say anything I want and never be called out … because you fools will never check the internets!
October 30, 2005:

The insurgency in Iraq is not proof of an escape-from-freedom human nature that has little use for liberty and prefers other things. The insurgency is, on the contrary, evidence of a determined Sunni minority desperate to maintain not only its own freedom but its previous dominion over the other 80 percent of the population now struggling for theirs.
These others -- the overwhelming majority of Iraq's people -- have repeatedly given every indication of valuing their newfound freedom: voting in two elections at the risk of their lives, preparing for a third, writing and ratifying a constitution granting more freedoms than exist in any country in the entire Arab Middle East.

And today:

The cause of that failure is rooted in an Iraqi political culture that makes it as yet impossible for enough of the political leadership to act with a sense of national consciousness.

Yes, if the those damn people were Americans they’d have their democracy by now, how was I to know they Iraqis weren’t Americans until now?
So fuck ‘em!