The fool and the fools who follow them

Last week President Obama made a speech which included a political line that had the rare quality of being true:

“I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Michelle wasn’t. Somebody gave us a chance. Just like these folks up here are looking for a chance.”

The line had the additional bonus of making an unspoken comparison between Obama and his Republican opponent who was, to put it mildly, to the manor born. Such implied comparisons, or far more explicit ones, have been part-in-parcel of American politics at least back to the days of Andrew Jackson.

But that really isn't the point. The point is that FoxNews took this clever, but not that clever a line, and turned into the "class war" outrage de jour. And they did so by adding words that were not there.

Steve Doocy of Fox News, who while interviewing Romney on live TV Thursday, quoted Obama as saying, “Unlike some people, I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth.”
But Obama never prefaced his statement with the words “unlike some people”

That Steve Doocy would push false stories about Obama is no surprise. After all he is the man who made the most "FoxNewsian" false claim of them all:



But what is surprising is that Steve Doocy is aaccepted news source:

Regardless, the unspoken words were imputed to Obama in a Washington Post article, a New York Post editorial and conservative blogs after Doocy’s segment.

It just keeps getting to be a longer year.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

There is no "bottom" to Peak Wingnut

The teapartiers may be less popular with the general public, but when they turn Orin Hatch into someone who is "too liberal" we have indeed found that even James Cameron cannot go as deep as the depths of wingnut delusion.

Soon to be "Later Sarko"

Apparently conservative (for France) practices are not popular when put into place, as opposed to just bloviating about them on cable news.

French voters headed to the polls on Sunday in round one of a presidential ballot, with economic despair on course to make Nicolas Sarkozy the first president to lose a fight for re-election in more than 30 years.

In a contest driven as much by a dislike of Sarkozy's showy style and his failure to bring down unemployment as by policy differences, Sarkozy and his Socialist rival Francois Hollande are pegged to beat eight other candidates to go through to a May 6 runoff, where polls give Hollande a double-digit lead.

Hollande, 57, promises less drastic spending cuts than Sarkozy and wants higher taxes on the wealthy to fund state-aided job creation, in particular a 75 percent upper tax rate on income above 1 million euros ($1.32 million).

But it is France so conservatives will draw no lessons -- no they'll keep pushing until they can enact the awesome austerity policies of Greece.

Getting a little ahead of himself

And yet it's Obama the right is always calling presumptuous (as in, how dare he be black): 

Former Governor Mitt Romney is already offering top donors access to a special "Presidential Inaugural retreat," planned on the assumption that he will be elected president this November.

The offer, in a fundraising email circulated by a top Georgia supporter to fellow Republicans and obtained by BuzzFeed, is one of several goodies offered to those who contribute more than $50,000 to the joint fundraising committee known as "Romney Victory," a program whose outlines were first reported by POLITICO.

Those donors will be named "Founding Members" of Romney Victory and invited to a California retreat with Romney and offered "yet to be determined access at the Republican National Convention in Tampa in August."

Souless Robots have an easier time selling themselves than mere humans.

But...of...course

Funny how that always seems to happen and it seems not to register with our overlords who are determined to crush us:

...turns out that Wisconsin was the only state in the entire country to lose jobs in 2011, while Illinois had better than average growth. The Federal Reserve Bank of Philadelphia also predicted strong economic growth in Illinois, while placing Wisconsin last in its forecast

Neighboring states, Illinois did not try to kill its unions, raised taxes on the wealthy and refused to engage in austerity. Wisconsin did the opposite.

Cannot say they weren't warned

This was a horrible idea the dangers of which are being ignored by horrible people.

I am only surprised Republicans are not involved.

Lemme guess

He used his time-tested trick of shitting himself?

After meeting with Ted Nugent – who recently made some incendiary comments about President Obama – the Secret Service has cleared the outspoken rocker.

Those Iranian bastards won't let us bomb 'em with a more opaque conscience!

Oh dear, the Iranian government is making concessions in the wake of stronger sanctions (another non-credited victory for diplomacy). As David Swanson at Firedoglake notes, this peace agenda is getting in the way of the war many of our "serious people" have been planning.

The nerve of them, the nerve!

When Twitter trends are too scary to explore

But of course

The Vatican, your home for mockeries of Justice from Stephen VI/VII (cannot even get the number right) to Galileo to Pius XII to prepubescent boys everywhere, has drawn another line in the sand as the tide rolls in.

The Vatican orthodoxy watchdog announced Wednesday a full-scale overhaul of the largest umbrella group for nuns in the United States, accusing the group of taking positions that undermine Roman Catholic teaching on the priesthood and homosexuality while promoting "certain radical feminist themes incompatible with the Catholic faith."

Yes, side with Bill Donohue -- that will win you points with American Catholics -- you know the actual ever diminishing congregants. (photo via The Soup, easily the only thing worth watching on E!)

Anders Behring Breivik Approved

It is not a good week for the image of Scandinavian tolerance.

I present to you the most tone-deaf and inappropriate political moment of 2012, international edition.

Oh.My.Gawd.

What a surprise

Florida's drug-testing for welfare law costs more money, proves itself completely unnecessary, and has no effect that isn't negative whatsoever.

Except it embarrassed "the poors" for the shits and giggles of the 1 percenters.

So mission-accomplished I guess.

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
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Fair and Balanced

Sure the network Sunday chat shows are almost exclusively composed of Republicans, but if you remove John McCain as a variable in the equation they become only overwhelmingly composed of Republicans.

Man of the People

Oh the candidates they hath brought out the big lines now, right Mr. President?

“I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Michelle wasn’t..."

So remember no silver spoon's available in that madrassa.

But silver-spoon emanated Mitt Romney was ready with his most pithy reply:

Damn straight, during a recession a person should be more focused on pursuits with a more common touch:

“She [Ann Romney] has Austrian Warmbloods, which are – yeah, it’s a dressage horse, it’s a kind of horse for the sport that she’s in. Me, I have a Missouri Fox Trotter. So mine is like a quarter horse, but just a much better gait. It moves very fast, and doesn’t tire, and it’s easy to ride, meaning it’s not boom-boom-boom, it’s just smooth, very smooth.”

But Mitt is making sacrifices:

The World Cup finals for the elite sport of dancing horses, known as dressage, opened today in the Netherlands without the presence of two of its most prominent wealthy devotees, Mitt and Ann Romney. The Romneys' horse, Rafalca, will compete, however, performing to music personally selected by the Republican presidential candidate.

That's not losing focus on the important things in these difficult times.

Keep up the high-brow fellas.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Mitt's World, Part One

If you are famous or rich, you get results...and therefore it must be this way for all others...who matter.

Hmmm, analogies

This one, concerning modern America, seems rather too subtle, don't you think?

CHINA GROVE, N.C. -- Authorities in Rowan County say a man held a double-barreled shotgun to a woman's head and made her read her favorite scripture.

As the world kerns

I suppose I should be surprised it only took eight years to prove a right-wing screech a bunch of bullshit.

But as always, what Digby said then and what Digby said now.

 It more or less comes back to the same conclusion: for some reason Bush became afraid to land his plane and so he quit flying and, like other privileged princes at the time, found a way to check out of his obligation early. And he seems to have been in some kind of other "trouble" at the time but nobody knows exactly what it was. What's new is the dirty cover up in Texas political circles going back years. There are obviously people who know the truth. Certainly George W Bush does. But they're not telling. Yet.

Your Moral Arbiters

Yet more evidence of the moral authority the Vatican (and its especially conservative Opus Die order) has in having hissy-fits about ladies having some control over lady-parts:

Why a known-mobster like De Pedis is buried on the grounds of a Vatican church has been the object of much speculation since 1997, when a church maid revealed the tomb’s existence to an inquisitive journalist. The Vatican was always cagey about why the mobster was buried in one of its churches, and ultimately, the church’s silence spurred countless conspiracy theories.  Now, thanks to shocking Vatican letters leaked in the Vatileaks scandal that is rocking the Holy See, the Italian police are less interested in why he’s buried there. Instead, they want to open the tomb to see if the remains of 15-year-old Emanuela Orlandi are interred with those of the mobster.

Read the whole thing, it gets worse.

Best be informed

Please note that the Romney campaign would like you to know that Anders Behring Brevik is merely a supporter, not a staff member of the campaign.  And Mitt is "very disappointed" in such things.

You know, like the Nuge.

Good news everyone

Don't worry about Ted Nugent, according to Ted Nugent, he's never said any threats against anybody.

I have never in my life threatened anyone's life. I am incapable of threatening anyone's life. Because, I'm about positive change.

Positive change. That's why Mitt Romney so actively sought the Nuge's support for his candidacy.

Sure, the Secret Service is concerned, but again, no need to worry:

Asked whether the Secret Service had contacted him, Nugent replied, "The Secret Service are my buddies. They work for me. I pay their salaries."

And perhaps they really are there for Ted, especially when it comes to getting deals involving two guys at the same time.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

America's Concern Troll

Hey, speaking of the Washington Post editorial page, we see the high standards it has set for its substantial role in public discourse. And who better than Richard Cohen?

Though I have a feeling it will not work out that way (my money is on Commander Bunny Pants, surely the most poetically deserving of all the contenders for "Face of the Naughts") -- Atrios may make this a big day indeed for A.C.T. (UPDATE: nevermind, he was named last week...I'm a bad blogger) and Cohen shows why he's such a viable contender for all manner of dubious distinctions -- and does it literally in less than his first dozen words:

Among the attributes I most envy in a public man (or woman) is the ability to lie.

Oh sure, it's a jaw-droppingly awful thing to write...but the man is nothing if not efficient in demonstrating his bona fides.

Sounds about right

Atrios named Fred Hiatt the "Mr. Non-Congeniality" of the Wankerific Decade yesterday and well deserved it was. What is more, Hiatt's effect on journalism appears to have been noticed by the Pulitzer-Prize Committee:

Most notable winner this year: "No award," for Editorial Writing

America would like Mitt Romney to ride on top of the car

If he was programmed with human emotions he'd be really sad:

Only 35 percent of Americans see the presumptive Republican nominee favorably, with 47 percent seeing him unfavorably, according to an ABC News/Washington Post poll released Monday. That makes Mr. Romney the first likely nominee to start the general election contest “underwater,” with more seeing him unfavorably than favorably, in the 28 years and eight presidential cycles the ABC/Post poll has been measuring candidates.

He is especially unliked among women. So get ready for that next great Republican voting reform project:

In the midst of the back and forth, O’Donnell brought up a quote Coulter gave to The Guardian in 2003 in which she said that women were one group she believed should have their right to vote taken away. When pressed by O’Donnell, Coulter stood by her comments, arguing that every election since 1950, aside from the 1964 Barry Goldwater election, would have been won by Republicans had it not been for women. Coulter said this presents enough reason to disenfranchise women. O’Donnell pushed further, asking Coulter how she would feel personally if she couldn’t vote. She responded: “If my entire gender loses it too, then I’m OK with it.”

And that's the end of that...

Looks like Ann Romney believes in re-gifting, the old story about their dog on top of the car while they traveled down the highway?

The dog loved it.

So much for that good spin.

Well, there's a surprise

Romney surrogate and poet-in-residence Ted Nugent is off on one of his tasteful political jibes:

"We need to ride into that battlefield and chop their heads off in November. Any questions?"

What a surprise coming from this guy:

A worthy question, for which we all know the answer

Early gift-proclaimer Ann Romney, America's second-most famous servant supervisor after Lady Grantham, is having her Birthday Party hosted by infamous Republican "Jew-Counter" (I'm guessing he came to "Eleventy-One") and "Dog Roaster" Fred Malek. Phoenix Woman asks the question and gives the answer:

How many of the folks with establishment-media access who do deign to notice that Fred Malek is hosting her birthday party will bother to mention his main claim to infamy (hint: it doesn’t involve barbecuing dogs)? I suspect the answers will be “not many” and “none at all”.

The latter.

The Romney's and fellow dog-abusers (and in a way abuser of Jews) joining together.

It's all part of the plan...

Every American War from about 1991 forward is pretty much the same:

1. Starts out scary/romantic like World War II 

2.  Our bombing is most awesome...sorry about that nursery school/wedding/funeral/Amway Convention

 ...a decade of futility goes by...

3. Perpetually train forces, or it will end up just like Vietnam (while it ends up just like Vietnam)

4. Profit. Blather, rinse, repeat.

The highlight of the weekend

Admittedly I'm not a big fan

Of the insurance mandate, especially vis-a-vis single payer, but I don't have much doubt it's constitutional.

However, when Scalia has his hissy fit he'll have a hard time dealing with "original intent" -- well he would if he had a scintilla of intellectual integrity...so he will not:

The framers, challengers have claimed, thought a constitutional ban on purchase mandates was too “obvious” to mention. Their core basis for this claim is that purchase mandates are unprecedented, which they say would not be the case if it was understood this power existed.

But there’s a major problem with this line of argument: It just isn’t true. The founding fathers, it turns out, passed several mandates of their own. In 1790, the very first Congress—which incidentally included 20 framers—passed a law that included a mandate: namely, a requirement that ship owners buy medical insurance for their seamen. This law was then signed by another framer: President George Washington. That’s right, the father of our country had no difficulty imposing a health insurance mandate.

That’s not all. In 1792, a Congress with 17 framers passed another statute that required all able-bodied men to buy firearms. Yes, we used to have not only a right to bear arms, but a federal duty to buy them. Four framers voted against this bill, but the others did not, and it was also signed by Washington. Some tried to repeal this gun purchase mandate on the grounds it was too onerous, but only one framer voted to repeal it.

Six years later, in 1798, Congress addressed the problem that the employer mandate to buy medical insurance for seamen covered drugs and physician services but not hospital stays. And you know what this Congress, with five framers serving in it, did? It enacted a federal law requiring the seamen to buy hospital insurance for themselves. That’s right, Congress enacted an individual mandate requiring the purchase of health insurance. And this act was signed by another founder, President John Adams.

Not only did most framers support these federal mandates to buy firearms and health insurance, but there is no evidence that any of the few framers who voted against these mandates ever objected on constitutional grounds.

But never mind, Scalia and company will just do what they want. After all, who knows the Constitution better, Scalia and Thomas or James Madison, John Jay and George Washington. The latter are mental pygmies in comparison, clearly.

Oh dear, what a surprise

How shocking that Murdoch's hacking scandal continues to grow and goes to ever more prestigious (well previously so) parts of his empire:

Rupert Murdoch's Times of London is facing a claim for exemplary damages after admitting hacking into the email of an anonymous police blogger to expose his identity, lawyer Mark Lewis told Reuters on Friday.

Lewis, of law firm Taylor Hampton and representing police detective Richard Horton, said Horton had filed for misuse of confidential information, breach of confidence and deceit at London's High Court this week.

Perfidious (to) Albion

A recent survey at the British National Military Museum named George Washington that nation's greatest military foe (how he beat Gorgo or curry is a mystery to me).

But this survey may have been premature, because they are being afflicted with a new set of Americans bringing a new kind of disaster with them:

A Christian charity which sponsored a conference promoting the idea that gay people can be converted to heterosexuality has funded interns for an estimated 20 MPs, including some who are now ministers in the coalition government.

The Christian Action Research and Education charity (Care) has provided staff to the parliamentary offices of Caroline Spelman, Alistair Burt and Steve Webb. In 2009 it sponsored a London conference about homosexuality and Christianity which included sessions on "mentoring the sexually broken".

Looks like Michele and Marcus Bachmann have a reason to inspect the Crown Jewels this Summer.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

BRAINSSSSSS!

Hey, nice to see that Dick Cheney's new heart still allows him to be as bitter as ever and give his daughter more paid gigs.

He sat in a plush chair throughout the long chat with daughter Liz Cheney and looked decidedly healthier than recent appearances where he has been gaunt and used a cane.

And then they both decried Obama's cronyism.

It's been about 36 hours

Has the right-wing managed to blame Obama for Secret Service agents not properly paying Colombian prostitutes yet?

The Bullshit Artist strategy

A few months ago I stated that Mitt Romney's strategy was to lie so much and so often that by the time the general election started he will be perceived as such a soulless empty suit that all the lying ends up allowing people to think he's almost human (I'm going to pretend I'm the only one who said this).

And here it is in action.

Going about as well as a North Korean rocket-launch

Who could have anticipated?

Syrian forces loyal to President Bashar al-Assad shelled the battered city of Homs on Saturday, opposition activists said, the first bombings since a ceasefire began two days ago.

After all these months of abusing Homs you have to wonder if they were simply measuring how high the rubble bounced.

Elsewhere in New Jersey

The Important Stuff

Well, at least the Huffington Post broke its streak of "side-boob" front page stories.

I know this is horribly unfair

Being in Iowa it is not uncommon to hear of people traveling to "Bible-Belt Vegas" i.e. Branson. I was once asked whether I wanted to ever go there. I know this is liberal elitism (i.e. good taste) and it is to the extent any elitism is justified when one is well entrenched within the bottom 99 percent of Des Moines, Iowa of all places, but I responded:

"I don't really like NASCAR, I don't really like Country music and I don't like Klan rallies, why would I go to a place that charges you to combine all three?"

It's our job to ruin everything

Apparently the Titanic Disaster actually showed the noble sentiments of the 1%, if you lie enough about it. Thanks Branson.

Still blaring out after all these years.

There are days when it is best to not watch any cable news.  For me personally, those are the days of the week that end in "Y".  But without even watching them I know that the big "important" discussion of yesterday can be summarized thusly:

Mitt Romney decries Barack Obama for never having run a business while also saying his source for how voters feel about the economy is his wife, who has never run a business.  How dare a Democrat point out this glaring inconsistency!  Clearly liberals are decrying the model of motherhood we hold sacrosanct but which our economic policies have made impossible...unless you are rich, like Mitt and Ann Romney.  Harrumph, Harrumph.

Thanks right-wing Wurlitzer, for keeping us focused on the unimportant stuff.  Good job cable news.
Hey, speaking of cable news...

On Thursday, attorneys at Epstein Becker & Green P.C. sent Gawker publisher Nick Denton a letter urging his blog to “immediately stop publishing information and videos that have been unlawfully obtained by or from Joe Muto, and return them to Fox News.”

But that’s not all. The letter also urges Gawker to protect all evidence and material Muto gave Gawker. The letter claims that Gawker and Muto — a now-former associate producer at Fox News, who until Wednesday night remained anonymous — likely engaged in “criminal and civil wrongdoing,” which will be the subject of further investigation by Fox.

Which naturally led to this accurate tweet:

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Oh don't act surprised

I love how the Politico always acts as if "patterns of behavior" do not exist in this world the same way Republicans deny evolution.

Sarah Palin’s political action committee raised $388,000 in the first three months of the year, but it spent $418,000 and didn’t give a dime to any candidates — which is the purported purpose of the PAC. Instead, Sarah PAC spent $255,000 on fundraising and a small team of political consultants that Palin has continued to support even as she receded from the political spotlight during the heat of the GOP presidential primary. It also appears to have spent $19,000 on a video rebutting the HBO film “Game Change.”

And, of course, she's grifting:

Sarah PAC, a so-called leadership PAC set up to help the former Alaska governor maintain a political presence, finished March with $983,000 in the bank, according to a report filed Wednesday afternoon with the Federal Election Commission.

Step right up suckers!

Go get him

So many shoes are dropping on Joe Arpaio you have to wonder if we're dealing with a dessert-based Imelda Marcos.

The Justice Department has given up on settling with Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio and is planning to sue the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office for systematic civil rights abuses of Hispanic residents, a DOJ official indicated in a terse letter to Arpaio’s lawyer on Wednesday. “It is clear that DOJ’s concerted effort to attain voluntary compliance by your client has failed,” Deputy Assistant Attorney General Roy Austin of DOJ’s Civil Rights Division wrote in a letter to Arpaio lawyer Joseph Popolizio obtained by TPM.

Reading the article does not paint Mr. Popolizio in a positive light and makes one wonder if he is not better suited for being fired or embarrassed at a major college athletic program, although he may be missing the all important middle "T" (Patino, Paterno, Petrino, which sounds like a bad parody of something Julius Caesar wrote).

It's Mitt Romney's favorite

Gizmodo article ever...

The ring is closing...maybe

As TBogg noted yesterday FoxNews is dispensing it's top-notch "Fox Security" on the trail of the alleged insider that Gawker has retained. So far, this has been done as successfully as Roger Ailes did on the South Beach Diet.

Funny you always think of them as so darned competent:


And that day did come...one day there was a knock on the door and somebody told Al Franken he'd been elected a United States Senator.

BAM!

Why don't Rupert and Ailes simply hack their employees phones and emails?

Oh, right...

Mark Lewis, the lawyer who has been at the forefront of efforts to expose the News of the World phone-hacking scandal, is poised to bring the battle for legal redress across the Atlantic and to the doorstep of Rupert Murdoch's media empire...

Details remain sketchy about precisely what Lewis intends to do in the US, but the Guardian has learned that he will be having legal discussions that could lead to several lawsuits being lodged with the New York courts. The direct involvement of the US judicial system in allegations of illegal activity by News Corp employees would bring the scandal dramatically closer to Murdoch's adopted home.

Looks like Rupert and Roger are going to have a rough weekend. Thank goodness James Murdoch has some free time now so he'll be available for stress abuse.  Hope he likes gimp-suits.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Time to put Hannity on the stand

George Zimmerman to get charged in connection with shooting of Trayvon Martin. Good luck with your pundit-client privilege argument FoxNews.

Isn't this the New Jersey equivalent of praising Castro in Miami?

I guess it beats sitting on the couch all day, like he usually does.

He's got the College of Cardinals vote!

Uh:

Mitt Romney on Fox News Wednesday said he is “in touch” with the American people. “The person I’m out of touch with is Barack Obama,” Romney said.

Another Republican budget expert

Cue Nelson Muntz:

Newt Gingrich is trying to position himself as the challenger to Mitt Romney — or as he said in an email to supporters today, “the last conservative standing.” But that may be difficult, given the former House speaker’s anemic fundraising and non-existent campaign organization. Case in point: A $500 check Gingrich wrote bounced.

Although it isn't terribly funny to the businesses that Gingrich screwed over (and he wasn't even married to them).

Bible Belt priorities

Sure the football coach at Arkansas had a bad rep even before wiping out with his mistress on his midlife crisis crotch-rocket, but he sort of wins games.

(pic from here)

You're next Joe Arpaio

The tin-horn dictatorship of Maricopa County, Arizona is finally starting to come down.

Having your own little "Syria" in the Southwest gets you lots of crazy followers though.

America's "go to guy" for racism

George Zimmerman has an unusually long-list of defenders who haven't spoken to him much: Joe Oliver; his next door neighbor; his lawyers.

But one man he's spoken to, Sean Hannity.

What a predictable person reach out to if you have a problem with mistreating a black person, Sean Hannity knows in advance who the real victim is, the one with less melanin.

The guy who cut his teeth in radio filling in for Bob Grant and having avowed racists call to rant about African Americans and mocking Abner Louima when he was "Giuliani-timed" by the New York City police has become the go to talking head for making a black victim into a villain.

For which he is handsomely paid.

Meanwhile, no one seems to know where Zimmerman is, except he isn't in Florida and, according to his now former "lawyers of the year", may not be competent.  Oh and he can still carry around that 9mm.

But no problem, I'm sure.

Let us know if you see Joe Oliver driving a white bronco.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

"Hello Ladies..."

With Santorum out of the equation now is your time Herman Cain. Say Herman why is Romney losing so badly to Obama with women?

President Obama is very likable to most people, if you just look at him and his family. But if you look at his policies, which is what most people disagree with, it’s a different story. And I think many men are much more familiar with the failed policies than a lot of other people, as well as the general public.

Wow, no sexism there.

Oh, and there's men and there's "other people".  So ladies at least you are technically people to Herman Cain...aka potential love interests.

John Derbyshire approves.

How not surprising at all

All the places that oppose sex education and make it more difficult to have contraceptives...as well as those places with the shittiest schools -- have the highest teen pregnancy rate.

Mississippi has the highest teen birthrate in the nation while New Hampshire has the lowest, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said on Tuesday, following up on a report that found the incidence of pregnancy among U.S. teens was falling. Mississippi reported 55 births per 1,000 teens aged 15 to 19 in 2010, more than 60 percent above the U.S. average, according to state data released on Tuesday. New Hampshire's rate was less half the national average at 15.7 births for the same age group. Teen birth rates were higher in the South and Southwest and lower in the Northeast and Upper Midwest, the CDC said, noting that Hispanics and blacks had the highest teen birth rates.

On the heels of yesterday's unsurprising news that conservatism comes from a predominance of "low-level" thinking, we have an idea what nether-regions these thoughts go to.

Awkward pictures of Mitt Romney

This is how the Human Centipede begins:

Nice socks, Barb make you wear those for not taking out the trash?



REUTERS/Donna Carson

I'm entitled to be an asshole

I have cancer.

That seems to be what passes for John Derbyshire's defense of being a gigantic racist.  What gave him that ability the prior three decades however....?

I, on the other hand, express it this way.

I'm sorry you have cancer, and also that you are a metaphorically huge dick.

Nice PR move Slick

George Zimmerman might want to have a website that doesn't glorify him via race-based vandalism.

But then again...

This already has over 3 million views

But I'm really old.

But of course...

For Fox and it's affiliates liberals are "socialists" or "communists" or even "Nazis" (see Jonah Goldberg for all three).

But actual Nazis? 

Just a "civil rights group".

My favorite moment

Of this years Masters (oh, okay, after the double eagle), old sexist doesn't get his handshake:

It's like Mickey Kaus' Disneyland!

Are goats invited?

The life of the ludicrously rich in Japan is indeed tough. You get to go on exotic vacations constantly, but each trip requires you to find a house sitter for your pet sheep. Thankfully, though, the well-off Japanese businessman has a new, elegant solution: Hotel Sheep.

Apparently, owning a pet sheep is the latest luxury for the wealthy and fashionable in Japan. The animals are prized for their gentle demeanor. And because they're insanely cute and cuddly, they're adored to the point where luxury away accommodations are a must.

The Diplomatic Principle of “Psych!”

From the 'Who could have anticipated?' files:

Contradicting reports from the United Nations last week that Syria's government had agreed to a cease fire that would have gone into effect on Thursday, the Syrian government said Sunday it would not withdraw troops from restive areas unless it received "written agreements" from armed rebels dedicated to the ouster of Syrian president Bashar al Assad.

When have such initial reports a cease-fire ever not had a major hitch, short of forced immediate capitulation?

What the Assad government wants, of course, is for the opposition to lay down their arms, promise to not oppose him and for foreign governments to stop supporting the opposition.

And with that the article continues with a line from the annals of understatement:

Such an agreement appears unlikely

Really?

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Romneyesque

Charles Grassley, a man best-known for his inability to ever spell anything correctly and deliver a scintilla of logic in the world's most inadvertently hilarious twitter account calls Obama stupid.

Well now we know

What it takes to get fired at National Review, many years of overt racism, ethnic bigotry and sexism followed by an article in another publication that befits a Klan rally.

Putting Hitler Mustaches on a smiley-face and calling liberals fascist though...just fine.

A "Tradition of ...oh, brother!"

One annual ritual of having to listen to Jim Nance gladly kiss the ass of the stuffed-shirt sexists (and formerly and still possibly racists) of Augusta National.  I believe this sums it up:

Although they'll always be my knowledge of this that keeps me entertained. He's a loyal Bushy and a poor Tiger Woods impersonator.

A "fine" tradition of racism

Not so long ago the Doughy Pantload proclaimed:

And, by the way, the days of segregated swimming pools and neighborhoods haven't merely "yielded" to "more subtle forms of discrimination"; they've yielded to — wait for it — less discrimination.

Which is interesting considering what his publication has as its historical legacy:

The central question that emerges--and it is not a parliamentary question or a question that is answered by meerely consulting a catalog of the rights of American citizens, born Equal--is whether the White community in the South is entitled to take such measures as are necessary to prevail, politically and culturally, in areas in which it does not predominate numerically? The sobering answer is Yes--the White community is so entitled because, for the time being, it is the advanced ace. It is not easy, and it is unpleasant, to adduce statistics evidencing the median cultural superiority of White over Negro: but it is fact that obtrudes, one that cannot be hidden by ever-so-busy egalitarians and anthropologists. The question, as far as the White community is concerned, is whether the claims of civilization supersede those of universal suffrage. The British believe they do, and acted accordingly, in Kenya, where the choice was dramatically one between civilization and barbarism, and elsewhere; the South, where the conflict is byno means dramatic, as in Kenya, nevertheless perceives important qualitative differences between its culture and the Negroes', and intends to assert its own. National Review believes that the South's premises are correct.

That was 1957 when Dwight Eisenhower was President. Fifty-five years later, we have so-called conservative intellectuals not-named John Derbyshire writing about Obama and his "Kenyan Mentality" -- some arguments, no matter how stupid, never die -- and if you are conservative they remain profitable.

Which brings us to long-time idiot and just as long-time National Review Editor John Derbyshire's article in another publication that one cannot read without that lower jaw attempting to depart the balance of one's face. This is the face of overt and subtle conservative thought. It's been out there and openly on display for some time -- never really called out except by us intentionally marginalized dirty fucking hippies.

Somewhat conveniently, this is video of Bruce Lee kicking the face and the remainder of said racist's ass (blue/white horizontally-striped shirt).

Speaking of hoodies...

Who could have anticipated other than every sentient being on the planet that well-known bigot and expert on the sexuality of young girls John Derbyshire would eventually go full KKK?

Can't say you were not warned National Review, but way to build that bigoted legacy.

The Ultimate in IOKIYAR

After years of decrying "activist judges" and implicitly...or even occasionally actively...threatening violence against the judiciary (remember the whole Schiavo thing?) nothing is richer than hearing Republicans go after Obama for making even mild criticism.

Here are some low-lights of the last decade or so.

My big problem with the conserv-o-sphere

Is I do not speak whatever version of some language this is:

Uh...what the fuck?

What are "gay liberals" nationalizing now?   Lady Gaga?

The Republican War on generally larger, slightly less colorful larvae

Reince Priebus, the far less entertaining and corporately-named from birth Republican National Chair, had a powerful statement to make yesterday; there is not a Republican War on Women:

“If the Democrats said we had a war on caterpillars and every mainstream media outlet talked about the fact that Republicans have a war on caterpillars, then we’d have problems with caterpillars,” Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus said in an interview on Bloomberg Television’s “Political Capital with Al Hunt” airing this weekend. “It’s a fiction.”

So there's no Republican War on Women according to a Republican man. Republican woman, your turn?

Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska) spoke out forcefully in favor of reproductive rights on Wednesday in Homer, Alaska, as many in her party have sought to restrict them.
"It makes no sense to make this attack on women," she said at a local Chamber of Commerce luncheon, according to the Homer News. "If you don't feel this is an attack, you need to go home and talk to your wife and your daughters."

Don't worry Reince Priebus will answer that one on behalf of his wife and daughters, it isn't necessary for him to ask. Besides he really wants to rid they world of those annoying butterflies.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Perpetually tone-deaf

I know the right-wing worries that Mitt Romney doesn't really believe in their paranoia policy positions, but he is certainly a modern Republican male at heart:

Mitt Romney heard through the grapevine that women are excited about his candidacy. For at least the third time this week, Romney explained why he’ll win over women voters, despite a poll released late Sunday showing him suffering an almost 20-point gender gap in key swing states, by saying his wife talks to women for him. Ann “reports to me” on what women care about, he said.

Uh, right. That will go over really well with female voters. Even 'The View' has four women giving viewpoints from A to Behar.


Next up from Mitt: Herman Cain tells me what Blacks think; and Marco Rubio tells me about Hispanics; Newt Gingrich tells me what fat lotharios are up to; Bill Krystal briefs me on the Jewish; the Book of Mormon is all I need on Native Americans; and John McCain has me covered with the goings on of the Roman Senate.

Family de-values

Ordinarily this would fall under the section of "who gives a shit?" or "remove the film crew and that isn't a bad idea" but, of course, this involves the world's most hypocritical bunch of leaches and lecturers so.....

Bristol Palin will enter a "trial marriage" — an undertaking known to most of us as "move in with" — with her boyfriend Giacinto "Gino" Paoletti, a 21-year-old pipeline worker with a known proclivity for racist Facebook posts. Naturally, the experience will be filmed as part of Bristol's new Lifetime reality TV show, Bristol Palin: Life's a Tripp.

It's under a big "W"

Truth is always stranger than fiction -- especially when it probably is fiction:

An unfolding Mega Millions saga in Maryland has taken a new turn as Mirlande Wilson, a McDonald's employee who claimed she had a winning ticket, now says that she hid the paper somewhere inside the fast food restaurant, the New York Post reports.

Of course it is in the New York Post.

And why couldn't she work at Wendy's? My It's a Mad Mad Mad World reference would work a lot better.

The Important Stuff via the Huffington Post

Uhhhh

I'm sure this is a brilliant idea...

A fresh wave of Beatlemania could sweep the world after Paul McCartney's son said four of the legendary British rock group's children were considering setting up a band together.

So it will be a Conservative Think Tank?

Iowa’s Shame, the saga continues

Welcome once again, self-proclaimed genius with a "j", Steve King.  King represents Iowa's most reprehensible district. He does it even more reprehensibly. King has again announced his opposition to laws forbidding discrimination against gays and lesbians with his usual sense of logic.

"You have private sector businesses here and they need to have freedom to operate," he said in an interview with ThinkProgress. "In the first place, I would think that unless someone makes their sexuality public, it’s not anybody’s business, so neither is it our business to tell an employer who to hire. He won’t know who to discriminate against in the first place."

Because telling "him" who to discriminate against is Steve King's job.

Of course, the problem really is someone might tell Steve King they are gay. Wearing one's humanity openly is for cross-necklace wearers only.

Unlike sexual orientation, it is actually broadly illegal to discriminate against individuals on the basis of their religion. And I'm pretty sure Steve King would agree it should be against the law to fire Larry in Accounting because of his ostentatious cubicle Jesus-Fish.

That Sikh guy whose name he never bothered to learn on the other hand.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

A beatdown of EPIC proportions!

This is truly a delightful evisceration of an idiot.

Jealous?

Apparently UC-Santa Barbara is jealous of all the attention UC-Davis got last fall:

Campus police pepper-sprayed as many as 30 Santa Monica College students Tuesday night as they disrupted a meeting of the Board of Trustees, which is moving forward with a controversial plan to offer a second tier of classes not subsidized by the state.

More than 100 outraged students interrupted the meeting with shouts of "shame on you!" directed at the trustees. Campus police tried to limit the number of students inside the board meeting room to about a dozen while many more watched live video from an adjacent overflow room.

Loud chants and yells from a group that tried to storm the board meeting room—and the police response—halted the meeting for nearly two hours as the building was evacuated.

As long as they are trampling on a protester's rights, why not go full "Robert's Court" and strip search 'em right there?

Please consider Scalia's tender fifis

Apparently Republicans are outraged about even mild criticism of the judiciary because after decades of decrying activist federal judges they have a patent on it.

Oh, and one more time, stick a sock in it Ruth Marcus.

Of course not

You long ago sold it to the Birchers.

And having no soul, well that's not on market either.

Joe Arpaio is going to spend his last days on earth muttering about fluoridation. 

The State that time forgot (probably on purpose)

As disgusting as it may be to see Tennessee revisit one of its historical low-lights, I guess any time spent on this does keep their legislators from pissing in their pants about Sharia law or salivating at the thought of mechanical rape:

Tennessee Gov. Bill Haslam (R) will "probably" sign a bill meant to protect teachers who allow students to question and criticize "controversial" scientific theories such as evolution, he told reporters on Monday.

The measure, which has been dubbed the "monkey bill" by critics who claim it's a backdoor approval of religious teachings in public schools, passed votes in the state Senate and House last month.

Students getting to quote fundamentalist talking points in biology class...awesome.

I guess we can dig up zombie William Jennings Bryan now to celebrate, he'll find plenty of unused brains along the Cumberland River.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

All I'm going to comment on it (I hope)

Mystery Science Williard 3000

I had forgotten all about this little nugget from the last election cycle:

What books did Romney claim as his favorites? The Bible is his favorite book. His favorite novel is Battlefield Earth by L. Ron Hubbard, the science-fiction writer and Scientology founder. The first we would have expected, but the second is so wacky, it breathes new life into the tired old reporter's trope: There must be something we can learn about Romney by examining this answer.

The only positive thing I can say about Battlefield Earth the novel is it is better than the movie.

Oh, and it is better than Atlas Shrugged. That is about it.

 (via AmericaBlog)

Yes, nothing says "EXCITEMENT"

More than adding the color grey:

Cornerback Walter Thurmond, who knows a thing or two about creative football apparel from his time at the University of Oregon, has worn the new uniform, calling it a “new age” approach. “It’s transitioning from where we are as an organization and where the league is going,”... It’s believed that the Seahawks logo has been adjusted to return gray to the color scheme, and it has been reported that the team’s alternate jersey will be gray.

As I sit here in an old t-shirt and shorts I don't claim to be a good judge of fashion, but considering the Seahawks have worn this...

I'm not getting my hopes up. ...now back to unimportant stories...

I'd say things are back to normal...but they never really change

The Village, your place for self-important delusion since Pierre Charles L'Enfant got fired.

First, let us congratulate Pat Buchanan for so quickly and deftly replacing the hole in his heart-like organ John Demjanjuk left, naturally with George Zimmerman.

And it is about an irreconcilable conflict of visions about what the real America is in the year 2012.

Zimmerman “profiled” Trayvon, we are told. And perhaps he did.
But why? What did George Zimmerman, self-styled protector of his gated community, see that night from the wheel of his SUV?

He saw a male. And males are 90 percent of prison inmates. He saw a stranger over 6 feet tall. And he saw a black man or youth with a hood over his head.
Why would this raise Zimmerman’s antennae?

Perhaps because black males between 16 and 36, though only 2 to 3 percent of the population, are responsible for a third of all our crimes.

Ah, the 'Real America' where Pat Buchanan can pull a check as big as the numbers obtained from his very white ass. Naturally, there is no real thought as to what his numbers mean, why they are relevant, or why people respond with, "so what, you old bigot?"

And second, so-called liberal columnist Ruth Marcus thinking the most important thing to do for public discourse is to not have public discourse:

I would lament a ruling striking down the individual mandate, but I would not denounce it as conservative justices run amok. Listening to the arguments and reading the transcript, the justices struck me as a group wrestling with a legitimate, even difficult, constitutional question.

Of course you did. Scalia's recitation of a Limbaugh rant was so intellectual it did bring wrestling to mind -- in a Mean Gene Okerlund sort of way.


When you are the biggest concern-troll on a day when Richard Cohen also has a column, you've really outdone yourself. [cross-posted at Firedoglake]

Nothing says family values

More than an inadvertent blow job joke (other than one done on purpose).

Ann Romney asked about Romney being "too stiff": "I guess we better unzip him and let the real Mitt Romney out because he is not!"

I thought I was engaging in hyperbole when I implied Mitt Romney was a giant dick, but with Mrs. Romney's endorsement I guess not.

Just go ahead and always side with Conservative self-professed Libertarians

After all such folks are generally that because they think it excuses them being a bigger asshole than ever the GOP will tolerate.

Behold the protection of your privacy rights!

The Supreme Court has ruled that jailers may subject people arrested for minor offenses to invasive strip searches, siding with security needs over privacy rights.

By a 5-4 vote Monday, the court ruled against a New Jersey man who complained that strip searches in two county jails violated his civil rights.

Justice Anthony Kennedy said in his majority opinion for the court's conservative justices that when people are going to be put into the general jail population, "courts must defer to the judgment of correctional officials unless the record contains substantial evidence showing their policies are an unnecessary or unjustified response to problems of jail security."

In a dissenting opinion joined by the court's liberals, Justice Stephen Breyer said strip searches improperly "subject those arrested for minor offenses to serious invasions of their personal privacy."

Do we really need to do research in order to figure out who the 5 and who the 4 were? So libertarians the next time you are rectally-probed following that speeding ticket or unpaid petty fine, just remember to "bend over and think of the 'penumbra' of privacy rights you managed to get rid of."

Nice job media

One of the many shocking things that is apparent -- from history (spending decrease in mid-to-late 30s) and from contemporary evidence (from Greece to the UK to our own shrinking of government jobs) -- is that austerity is the WORST possible policy to take for any modern economy.

Nevertheless this is rarely discussed in the media, polls show "deficits" are a major voting concern without any discussion of what it involves or means.  Republicans have little interest but lying about it, Democrats having not figured out how to discuss it, seeing the media not report it accurately, and seeing the polls just cower.  It is -- in many ways -- the perfect summation of all modern politics.

Well, to not quote, but summarize, Paul Krugman -- fuck that shit:

...on Thursday Republicans in the House of Representatives passed what was surely the most fraudulent budget in American history. 

...to make his numbers work Mr. Ryan would, by 2022, have to close enough loopholes to yield an extra $700 billion in revenue every year. That’s a lot of money, even in an economy as big as ours. So which specific loopholes has Mr. Ryan, who issued a 98-page manifesto on behalf of his budget, said he would close? 

None. Not one. He has, however, categorically ruled out any move to close the major loophole that benefits the rich, namely the ultra-low tax rates on income from capital. (That’s the loophole that lets Mitt Romney pay only 14 percent of his income in taxes, a lower tax rate than that faced by many middle-class families.) 

So what are we to make of this proposal? Mr. Gleckman calls it a “mystery meat budget,” but he’s being unfair to mystery meat. The truth is that the filler modern food manufacturers add to their products may be disgusting — think pink slime — but it nonetheless has nutritional value. Mr. Ryan’s empty promises don’t. You should think of those promises, instead, as a kind of throwback to the 19th century, when unregulated corporations bulked out their bread with plaster of paris and flavored their beer with sulfuric acid.

Not that this outright fraud will be discussed, for Paul Ryan is a SERIOUS person and Paul Krugman is just some partisan lefty and who can ever give them any time...what with their being correct all the time as they push that Sisyphean boulder of truth up Mount Everest.

After all what does Krugman know anyway? What with his Nobel Prize in Economics...as opposed to Paul Ryan's substantial victory in winning the lottery for Reagan's hair.*

*And really is that hair not the creepiest fetish in existence?

They told him he was worth ONLY $249 million

That's nice

If it becomes clear that Mittbot 3000 is going to win the Republican Nomination, Rick Santorum wants you to know, "he's a reasonable guy":

A reasonable guy who thinks premarital sex and birth control should be illegal if he could wish it; that Iran should be bombed over spelling issues; and that Jesus may have ridden a dinosaur.

I don't think he and most "reasonable" people think the same.

Mitt Romney's newest foreign policy initiatives

Are soon going to be "Remember the Maine"; "Perdicaris alive or Raisuli dead"; and "54°40′ or Fight!"

If she is not the bravest person in the World

Aung San Suu Kyi is on the short list. She has stood up to the powers that be in Myanmar -- including the post-election coup after she overwhelmingly won election in 1990. Having spent most of more than two decades under house arrest -- after winning the Nobel Prize that almost certainly saved her life -- she has again been voted into office.

Supporters of Myanmar's opposition icon Aung San Suu Kyi erupted in euphoric cheers Sunday after her party said she won a parliamentary seat in a landmark election, setting the stage for her to take public office for the first time.

Now, having won office, will they allow her to take it? As mentioned above, on a larger scale the military junta denied her twenty-one years ago, after she and her party received nearly three times more votes than any other group and a healthy majority of the overall vote.

The Boston Globe recently had one of its often fantastic photo essays on Myanmar, look through the link and note juxtaposed pictures Myanmar's current parliament and Suu Kyi campaigning and you will see all you need of what she faces. The contrast is stunning.

Let's hope she gets the chance to face it.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

(pic via Globalism Pictures at Flickr.com)

The Important Stuff

Thank goodness the Huffington Post won their lawsuit against those terrible bloggers who expect to be paid for their work.  They can keep on publishing the IMPORTANT items on the Front Page.

Well, it IS April Fool's Day

Oh, I hope they are planning on discussing the Pill again...and maybe Trayvon Martin: