It's me bait

How can I possibly resist?

America's worst editor has had it up to here with the sex talk:

That [porn star Sasha] Grey is not a fan of Mrs. Sanford, of course, is not shocking. What's shocking is that I even know her opinion on the woman, on the situation, on politicians and their wives, and that she thinks we should all openly have something extra on the side.

As Alex Pereene rightly notes, the discussion topic is actually "sex", something one would think Ms. Grey has extensive knowledge of, from A to Z.

But that last clause, "she thinks we should all openly have something extra on the side" is surely right up K-Lo's alley (so to speak).

For Ms. Grey, something extra on the side may be ben-wah balls or a ball gag, for Ms. Lopez cottage fries or ham gravy.

Both artists in their fashion -- just of different media.

"Sneakin' around my back while I'm keepin' on eye on Putin"

Canada, America's purported post-socialist nightmare of universal healthcare and longer life-expectancies has been shown the back of Palin's you betcha expressing hand:

Comedian Mary Walsh's beloved character button-holed the former Alaska governor at a recent book-signing in Columbus, Ohio, only to be strong-armed away from Palin by a cabal of security guards...

After being kicked out of the book-signing, Walsh and her crew then waited outside at a loading dock close to where Palin's bus was parked. When Palin emerged from the Borders bookstore, Walsh said, Delahunty - dressed in a more toned-down version of her trademark warrior princess costume - called out to her.

"Hey, remember us, we're the Canadians! We came all the way here from Canada!" Delahunty yelled. "When we asked you that question, we didn't hear your answer."

Palin strolled over, looking down on Walsh and her crew to tell them that "Canada needs to dismantle its public health-care system and allow private enterprise to get involved and turn a profit." ...

"It was great fun, but also very strange," Walsh recalled.

"We're in a bookstore, at a public event, in a place one would think was a bastion of free speech. And no one was allowed to ask questions. What are they afraid of?"

As to the last statement, they're afraid she'll open her pie-hole.

As to the assertion of dismantling their health-care system, over their mullet sporting bodies.

Because, Canadians sure hate their universal health care, if in the modern GOP vernacular, love=hate, those Orwellian goofs.

That's why its universal health-care's greatest advocate is also the nation's greatest figure, according to Canadians themselves. That's six spots higher than Don Cherry, nine more than Gretzky, eh!

And it's why all those opinion polls in Canada are so totally in favor of preserving it, because it's so damned popular.

Makes you wonder (okay, not all that much really)

PROJECT MUCH?

Compare these statements from the Mr. Prescription Addiction, the Pill-Popper-in-Chief if you will:

If you live in the universe of lies, the last thing that you are governed by is the truth. The last thing you are governed by is reality. The only thing that matters to you is the advancement of your political agenda. And you tell yourself in the universe of lies that your agenda is so important the world will not survive without it and therefore you can lie, cheat, steal, destroy whoever you have to to get your agenda done because your opponents are evil, and in fighting evil, anything goes. There are no rules when you're in a fight with the devil.

And unlike the usual Rush-listener, it makes ya' think back to November 2006, when the GOP lost Congress and when the same moron said this:

But the way I feel is this: I feel liberated, and I'm just going to tell you as plainly as I can why. I no longer am going to have to carry the water for people who I don't think deserve having their water carried.

In other words prior to November 2006, for you Rush...

The only thing that mattered to you was the advancement of your political agenda. And you told yourself in the universe of lies that your agenda was so important the world will not survive without it and therefore you could lie, cheat, steal, destroy whoever you had to to get your agenda done because your opponents are evil, and in fighting evil, anything goes.

So ultimately for you Rush, just another day ending in "Y".

Let's just re-write history

Remember when Bill Clinton was reading The Pet Goat while the nation was under attack?

Pigmissile Perino states: "We did not have a terrorist attack on our country during President Bush's term"

Me neither.

Quality Snark

In my post yesterday about the GOP's new list-making (Top 10 Signs you're a moron) which managed to rip off both Letterman and Jeff Foxworthy, commenter Fred Flinstone (from Bedrock, twist twist?) mentioned this in comments, and it is really some brilliant and pithy snark.

From Pudentilla at Skippy tbk:

an american conservative is someone who believes that

a) the vatican ought to decide our domestic policy;
b) israel ought to decide our foreign policy;
c) communist china ought to decide our economic policy; and
d) osama bin ladin ought to decide who gets tried in our courts.

As I was saying about Chuck Todd, brain like a sponge

Not figuratively, literally:



Yes, I've only been calling Cohen "America's Concern Troll" for years, literally, years.

Cohen's the fucking founder.

Jeezus, our establishment media is the worst in the world. What good is the First Amendment if this is the babbling bullshit it is used for (as opposed to quality pornography)?

How much are you paid Chuckles? Even use the "google"?

Joe McCarthy would approve

Oh, those Republicans, they do love making lists...

A group of conservative Republican leaders is proposing a solution to the internecine warfare over what the party should stand for: a 10-point checklist gauging proper adherence to core principles like opposing government financing for abortion and, more generally, President Obama’s “socialist agenda.”

Oh, they're makin' a list
won't edit it twice,
gonna find out
who's crazy and white

Righty Clause is comin'
to town...

Just like Carrie Prejean

How many "ick" moments can there be in a few paragraphs? Sarah Palin goes to bother an old man, and the usual line of moose-shit ensues:

"He's followed her career and likes her strong stand on faith," said son Franklin Graham, who was present for the 2 1/2-hour get-together. "Daddy feels God was using her to wake America up."

The former Alaska governor and 2008 GOP vice presidential candidate told Billy Graham about how she came to faith in God as a girl in Bible camp.

She quizzed him on the presidents he's known and wanted his take on what the Bible says about Israel, Iran and Iraq, Franklin Graham reported.

First of all, Franklin Graham is a real piece of work to begin with, but he's on old man himself, when you reach that age do not call your father "daddy" -- it's just plain creepy. "Daddy" is a word for five-year olds, trophy wives, and someone you're paying at least $100 an hour to. For example, my billable rate is $250, if you want legal advice, or just want me to call you Daddy, I'm in the yellow pages.

Second, Billy Graham's foreign policy expertise ended when he found a biblical reason to bomb the fuck out of Cambodia.

And, of course, who better to rely upon than noted anti-semite Billy Graham for advice about that rapture business.

Billy Graham has NEVER met a war he didn't like, he's the biggest Uriah Heep in the history of this country. He and Palin should get along just fine.

America's Concern Troll

Who better than me to judge Obama's morals? Who's more moral than me? Let me cite examples that are actually the opposite of the message I am badly trying to put forth. Y'know, like every Tuesday.

Oh, and here's a guy named James Fallows who knows I'd say a bit more than Dick Cohen about most things (if a bit is the size of the solar system), especially Obama's trip to Asia.

DICK!

So let me get this straight.

Invading countries, just because we can; secret meeting with oil companies to divvy up that same country's oil; having one's own personal hidey-hole and man-sized safes; authorizing torture and hell, enjoying it; outing a covert agent; having no problem with perjury; telling a Senator to go 'fuck himself'; sleeping on the job; wearing a green parka and snow boots to a Holocaust memorial service; and shooting your friend in the face are all signs of "strength" and what this country is all about to most Americans.

But...

Cheney says that when the President bows to a foreign leader, "our friends and allies don't expect it and our adversaries perceive it as a sign of weakness."

"I think it's fundamentally harmful and it shows in my mind that this is a guy, a president, who would bow, for example, who doesn't fully understand or have the same perception of the U.S. role in the world that I think most Americans have," he says.

I think we all have this straight now. When it comes to being a DICK, Cheney bows to no one.

These Kids Today

Hey, I'm trying out the Twitter with all the cool kids.

And they think this is good news?

Because really what two organizations have been better at conspiring to ignore closed-head injuries than these two?

Glazer also reported that the NFL has been in touch with the Department of Defense about sharing information related to head injuries and brain trauma for soldiers and football players. It stems from Goodell's trip to the Iraq and Afghanistan theaters in July 2008.

Step One: Give the harmed party a Silver Star!

Step Two: Move along.

Step Three: Blather rinse, repeat.

The thing about Palin's slack-jawed followers

Isn't that there's something in that grifter that "touched them" it's that there's something in her that makes them "touch themselves". You think many of them would not be so affected, as touching themselves is nothing new, but I guess it's the "purpose driving wank" that makes the difference.

And speaking of ass

I remember when Randy Moss pretended to moon the patrons of Green Bay in the playoffs, Fox's Joe Buck got the vapors. Only to later run into Artie Lange who showed Buck just what the vapors actually look like -- apparently they go well with coke and being a slob.

However, if Joe Buck was watching last nights football game, I do believe Devin Hester may have killed the poor, hyper-sensitive, man.

Could he be a bigger ass?

Glenn Beck, not satisfied in merely having a racist nut-job as a favorite historian, and loving having racists as frequent guests -- is not yet done being a gigantic douchebag:

- On August 28, 2010, I ask you, your family and neighbors to join me at the feet of Abraham Lincoln on the National Mall for the unveiling of The Plan and the birthday of a new national movement to restore our great country.

Hot Air’s Allahpundit notes that the date of Beck’s DC event “happens to be the anniversary of the ‘I Have a Dream’ speech” by Martin Luther King, Jr.

Not working too well

Lately I've been making an effort to get up early, instead of insanely early. Surprisingly, it seems to make me groggier.

Atrios said something exactly right yesterday:

The media is basically letting all opponents of health care say whatever the hell they want about health care reform with little pushback.

I don't know why I continue to be surprised when this happens, but I do...

It's always good news for Republicans. And you know what else is? The fact that in Great Britain they actually have an occasional press attempt for accountability that doesn't end when something else shiny comes along (and also topless women, but that's really Rupert's fault).

Tony Blair, the former prime minister, misled MPs and the public throughout 2002 when he claimed that Britain’s objective was “disarmament, not regime change” and that there had been no planning for military action. In fact, British military planning for a full invasion and regime change began in February 2002.

And, of course, they didn't plan alone.

But strangely, the cheerleaders for that war, like Joe Lieberman and Bill Kristol, also get to trot out lie after lie about health care, and no one in our splendid press corps seems to wonder why anyone should listen to them, let alone uncritically. We cannot possibly hold people -- well, Republicans, accountable for their past actions.

(pic from here)

[Cross-posted at Firedoglake]

What the fuck is wrong with people?!

What the hell?

Vampires and werewolves have vanquished a dark knight. "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" took in $72.7 million in its first day to break the single day domestic box office record previously held by "The Dark Knight," which had a $67.2 million opening day last year.

The Friday haul for the "Twilight" sequel includes a record $26.3 million from midnight screenings alone.

I don't wanna sound too much like some old guy telling people to get off their lawn but c'mon? A bunch of angst-filled petulant glaring sparkly angst-filled (that's right I said it twice) teenage vampires staring at each other? WTF?

Shit doesn't even blow up for the love of Michael Bay!

Oh thank goodness

Our national nightmare has been extended into yet another week:

Joe Lieberman is on Meet the Press -- oh wait questions will David Gregory not ask this time?

Oh, and C-SPAN ignores the Lingerie Football League for yet ANOTHER week. And instead has two Carlsons worth the price of none, Margaret and Tucker.

Atta J. Turk's Trusty NFL Picks

I suppose I could put this in Star Trekese -- you know how they make some statement like "You know, Mr. Chekov the great writers, Shakespeare, Tolstoy, Twain, Shalmoz of Talos III..." there's always that kicker that is just a bit "dickish" enough to let you know in the future and in space we'll still be pulling shit like 'freedom fries'. So let me do it with the NFL.

There have been a lot of great games in the NFL this year. The two Viking-Packer games, the Patriots and the Colts, the Giants and the Chargers and the Browns at the Lions. That's right, dickish. And so we go to week ll and everybody plays their 10th game -- no more byes. Last week I was 4 and 2 and boosting my record up to 39 and 21. That's pretty good and certainly less revealing of idiocy than ESPN having Matt Millen do games in Michigan.

And with that said:

Browns at Lions: Will anyone watch this game? Well, anyone that isn't having hot candle wax dumped on their balls or under the spell of a vicious cutting fetish? Oh, that's not fair. Lion and Brown fans will be watching it, because it is pretty much each teams last chance at a win in 2010. "We're Number 31, We're Number 31!". I've seen enough of both these clubs to pretty much last me a lifetime, but at least the Lions appear to have a pulse. Now that Jamarcus Russell is on the bench, congratulations Browns, you have the worst starting QB in the league. Take the Lions and hide your shame.

Colts at Ravens: Something must be done to take Peyton Manning's gigantic forehead down a notch. It's really rather freakish. His slackjawed, always seemingly overwhelmed younger brother, doesn't have this problem. Oh sure, they both have those slumped-assed shoulders but Eli has a normal, non-hydro-cephalic forehead. What gives, really? There's no real logical reason for me to pick the Ravens -- it's not like I should be overwhelmingly impressed by their performance against the Browns on Monday -- essentially they just stood around and waited for the Browns to suck themselves down. But still, there won't be a hangover as they didn't exactly engage in anything other than a glorified scrimmage. But I have to think eventually the Colts will stumble enough for a decent team to beat them. i'm going to say it is this day, take the Ravens. And if it's a rout, look at Manning on the sideline. When he wears a ball-cap his head still looks like one of those "racing sausages" at a Milwaukee Brewers game.

Redskins at Cowboys: Once again I enact my rule of always choosing against the team with the most offensive symbol (granted it is only referred to when I pick against the Redskins). Somehow the Redskins looked like a real NFL team last week and beat a decent, though fading, Broncos team. I have no idea how this happened, but it will not be a trend. Cowboys will win.

Steelers at Chiefs: Have you noticed that Chris Berman has started annoying America outside of the ESPN studios? In this case he's badgering us for Applebees, which is to restaurants what ESPN is to sports -- with fewer lizard heads and probably more sex harassment per capita. This follows a period of time where Berman was amongst many sports-whores pushing Nutri-System. I'm pretty sure some cheese-slathered double-beef-jalepeno-batter-dipped bacon burger with a 98 oz beer is not on the Nutri-System approved list. What does this have to do with the Steelers and Chiefs? Why nothing goddammit. But do you really expect the Chiefs to win this game? I don't because I'm within a chili cheese-fry of sanity. Take the Steelers.

Chargers at Broncos: A few weeks ago everybody thought this division was over, but the Broncos did a lot of their winning with mirrors, now they are missing Kyle Orton, patron saint of the pubic-neckbeard. I'm pretty sure many people never expected this to be typed, but unlike Jay Cutler, Kyle Orton cannot be adequately replaced. It's highly unlike he'll play. Meanwhile, the Chargers are playing well and they are led by the world's most talented goofy-ass hillbilly. Seriously, look at Rivers throw, what the fuck kind of throwing motion is that? But somehow it works. I shouldn't feel this confident, but I do. Take the Chargers.

Titans at Texans: So the old Houston Team, the original team, with the original owner who moved when Houston wouldn't give him a stadium, comes and plays the new Houston team in their new stadium. Just how many hundreds of thousands is a new double-barrelled shooting the bird dance worth for Bud Adams now? The Titans are playing well, having rolled off three in a row under the no longer suicidal Vince Young and the very talented and fast Chris Johnson. The Texans meanwhile have a shitty run defense. Naturally, I'm taking the Texans.

And while we're on the subject

Of the Teabagger movement, I'm not at all surprised their leader throws out slurs and epithets, but there's no lack of irony in his favorite:

Tea Party Express co-chair Mark Williams, one of the most visible spokespersons for the tea party movement, has repeatedly called his political opponents "faggot" on his blog.

Sounds like a real sweetheart, one can certainly understand why this minor-league sociopath is the darling of cable news.

And as the pictures note he hangs out with Teabagger financier Dick Armey, a man who is no stranger to that "lovely' phrase himself.

"[A] Seemingly Endless Parade of Meanies"

Matt Taibbi has an interesting perspective on Sarah Palin and her bestseller:

[Palin] is the country’s first WWE politician — a cartoon combatant who inspires stadiums full of frustrated middle American followers who will cheer for her against whichever villain they trot out, be it Newsweek, Barack Obama, Katie Couric, Steve Schmidt, the Mad Russian, Randy Orton or whoever. Her followers will not know that she is the perfect patsy for our system, designed as it is to channel popular anger in any direction but a useful one, and to keep the public tied up endlessly in pointless media melees over meaningless horseshit (melees of the sort that develop organically around Palin everywhere she goes). Like George W. Bush, even Palin herself doesn’t know this, another reason she’s such a perfect political tool.

The only upside to all of this is that John McCain will wince every time he sees her on TV. He'll never take responsibility for unleashing this moron on the country, of course, but he'll be in his own private hell. Small consolation, but it's something.

Teabaggin'

This film made by the 'heroes' of the movement shows that the diversity of the group is stunning. And as the teabagging crowd would say, 'they really do all look alike!'

Yes, especially when they are the same person.

As if thought up at Sterling-Cooper

Found at the Great Orange Satan, this 1962 advertisement from Humble Oil (which through various mergers ended up being part of Exxon-Mobil -- so truth in advertising is certainly here in spades).

Mission Accomplished and all that.

Friday Night Lights

I just saw Senator Sheldon Whitehouse speak at a Brennan Center lecture at NYU Law School. Whitehouse is an excellent speaker, a committed defender of the Constitution, and a major badass.

Do you know what he told us? Out of thirty-six weeks in session this year, the United States Senate has had four weeks of working sessions. Four weeks. What happened to the other thirty-two weeks? They were sucked up by Republican filibusters. That's right: Republican filibusters. Remember the people who hate the filibuster so much that they were willing to "Go nuclear"? Them. There have been ninety filibusters this year and there's no end in sight. Ninety. I sat there wondering why the Democrats had not gotten this message out to American citizens (because you have to admit that "Republicans have obstructed the United States Senate's work for thirty-two weeks this year" is a pretty compelling message) when Whitehouse told us that the Democrats have realized that they need to take that message to the people (and that at least some of them are discussing changing the filibuster rules). Stay tuned ...

He also discussed the importance of the Citizens United vs. Federal Eleciton Commission case currently before the Roberts court and said that depending on the ruling, it may be necessary to amend the Constitution to deal with the Democracy-degrading implications of the case. With regard to that possibility, he said, "Gird your loins..."

I like this guy.

Keep shining on you crazy diamonds

Thanks for the entertainment:







BUTTARS: I meet with the gays here and there. They were in my house two weeks ago. I don’t mind gays. But I don’t want ‘em stuffing it down my throat all the time. Certainly not in my kid’s face.

That hate us for our Commercially Available Cheese-Head Hats

Via Spencer Ackerman, THIS is the height of hilarity:

It seems that the Brett Favre-Green Bay Packers saga is such a worldwide phenomenon that it's being used by detainees in American military camps.

According to a military official, detainees at a Wisconsin National Guard camp in Iraq are using Brett Favre as a manner of getting at the guard troops there.

"They know Favre by name," said First Lieutenant Tim Boehnen, who is from New Richmond, Wis.

"One of the big words they know now is shenanigan. They'll constantly talk about 'Favre shenanigans,' 'He's so good for the Vikings,' and 'The Packers have got to really feel bad about that one.'"

Well, you know what will follow this...

President Obama joins NFL players in Thanksgiving message

President Barack Obama will join Saints quarterback Drew Brees, Steelers safety Troy Polamalu and Cowboys linebacker DeMarcus Ware in a special public service announcement debuting during each of the three NFL games played on Thanksgiving. The 90-second PSA is a joint effort of the NFL's PLAY 60 campaign, a leaguewide effort to fight childhood obesity by getting kids active for 60 minutes a day,

Here he is catching a ball in slow-mo -- like Communists do (you should have seen Joe Stalin's awesome slo-mo Vodka Bong inhale!)



Meanwhile,

Denny Hastert, Newt Gingrich, and Rush Limbaugh will demand a 90-second reply PSA where they encourage kids to sit on their ass and have more gravy. "There's noting like Pumpkin Pie ala-mode topped with some gravy", Gingrich says.

I Don't Ordinarily Go for Conspiracy Theories, But ...

...first mammograms, now PAP smears. All this news about evidence-based medicine, specifically about new guidelines for prevention of two conditions that scare most women,* in just one week leading up to a a crucial vote about health care reform?

Why, you'd have to wonder if someone -- maybe some group -- was trying to terrify the public and kill health care reform.

That said, I did want to take this moment to put all men on notice: we ladies will be hogging all the soon-to-be-rationed health care.

*Including me.

I'm pissing my pants in anticipation

Chuckles Krauthammer may have been getting the opportunity to spew his bile about bombing various and sundry brown people for years but, GOD forbid someone get a public trial for the opposite crime.

Meanwhile, nearby, actual sane persons go all "fact" and "logic" on Krauthammer, which is totally unfair.

MATLOCK!!!

The Village Elder Points a bony finger at you:

Sarah Palin is right -- far be it from me to say one cray thing she's right about however. She's a Republican after all.

It's contagious

I tell ya' spend a few hours with Sarah Palin and ya' just give up and quit with dispatch. Et tu Oprah, et tu?

Oh, and speaking of quitting -- Lou Dobbs was on the Daily Show on Wednesday evening. Much of the interview was put on the internet. The last part of which is below, I do believe that the last minute is so well put that Jon Stewart deserves more than just loud applause.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Exclusive - Lou Dobbs Extended Interview Pt. 3
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

And really, isn't Palin and her quitting, just the summation of modern conservative thought?

"We can't do this, we can't do that. Well, accept for that one thing we all lined up and said we could do six and a half years ago, declared "Mission Accomplished", but now we cannot possibly stop that EVER! Just keep on spending!"

Nothing can be done, and the less the better. Except when it comes to guns, bombs, and types of people they don't like. They're nostalgic for a time in America that never actually existed, rather the actual American was one that built things, fought and won a actual world wars, ended slavery and legal racism, went to the Moon, etc. All thanks to the Americans and their "BIG GOVERNMENT" they so hate.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]

File Under: "Words I Never Thought I'd Hear Myself Utter"

Disconcerting Greenwald-esque update below.

Less disconcerting second Greenwald-esque update below that one.

THANK YOU, BERNIE KERIK!


NYT: Giuliani is Said to Have Decided Not to Run for Governor


Hey, Judi: Time to start hunting for Husband No. 4.


Update: Oh, Goddamnit: Report: Rudy Will Run For Senate Against Gillibrand -- And Then For President Again

Judi obviously got to him.

Seriously...this little prick thinks he can run on a platform that says, "I'm going to bounce your senator and then pull a Palin after two years so I can run for president? At last Hillary did New Yorkers the courtesty of blowing smoke up our asses about her presidential ambitions.

Update II: Heh. Giuliani camp denies senate report..

Book reviews

So I don't have to go through the remainder bin just before New Years.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Word - Grand Old Pity Party
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor U.S. Speedskating

Which set of Corporate Whores is slightly more interested in you?

I won't say this makes me proud to be a Democrat, but it at least makes me justified in NOT being a Republican. Because while many Democrats care for you very little, most Republicans could not even give a shit about you:

Just now on the Senate floor, Republicans objected to a motion by Chris Dodd (D-CT) to immediately take up a bill to move up the effective date on the CARD Act, which was passed several months ago. In the intervening time, credit card companies have been jacking up their rates in what Dodd described as “a last-ditch attempt” to pad their profits until all of the provisions of the CARD Act, which prevents arbitrary interest rate, fee and finance charge increases on existing balances, take effect. The bill Dodd sought would have frozen all rates, charges and fees until all of the CARD Act’s provisions became law. It would also have reduced rates for every cardholder who saw arbitrary rate increases in 2009.

So basically, the banksters have been gouging their customers one last time, Sen. Dodd wanted to stop them from doing that, and Republicans objected.

BEHOLD, the protection of their corporate masters in action...

Parody

I think we all remember the time Karl Rove won the Congressional Medal of Honor, right? Just ask him:

NEW YORK -- Karl Rove's memoir has a title, "Courage and Consequence," and a release date - March 9, 2010.

Beyond parody.

Kind of glad I'm in the US

For a number of reasons, but I imagine if I lived elsewhere in the world, I'd get rather sick of hearing about this incessantly. It's enough to drive an Irish person to drinking and fighting [insert ethnic slur here].



Thank goodness we live in a country that just talks about Brett Favre, Bill Belicheck, and female soccer players who pull ponytails.

Y'know the important stuff.

She's like a GIANT VACANT GOLDEN GOD to me

Empty vessels for Empty vessels: