AIYEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

The grudge-fucking-est nightmare fueled relationship possible! I talked to a cab driver this morning and he was truly alarmed and upset about this (though not as much as the deficit).

THE HORROR, THE HORROR...

Harvard professor, hedge-fund millionaire, and "court historian for the imperial American hard right" Niall Ferguson is leaving his wife for a feminist filmmaker he met at the Time 100 party. Sex! Scandal! Murderous Muslim clerics! This story has it all.

Ferguson (whose career highs include defending colonialism and parlaying books about the Rothschild dynasty into a lucrative Rothschild-endorsed hedge fund career) is divorcing his wife of sixteen years, former editor and Condé Nasty Susan Douglas, reports The Daily Mail. Niall's new lovah: Somali-born filmmaker Ayaan Hirsi Ali. After meeting at a party for Time's 100 Most Influential People in the World, Niall and Ayaan launched into the most glamorously snobby, geopolitically thrilling forbidden love since Cleopatra and both Roman triumvirates

Their biggest fights will be over which third-world country should be bombed until the rubble bounces first.