Rising Hegemon
...then I felt a scary shudder go through my body and brain. [ed. 'THAT'S JUST REAGAN] I barely made it from the desk to the bed, where I lay curled up in a hallucinatory state for the next eight hours. [ed. REAGAN AGAIN!] I was thirsty but couldn’t move to get water. Or even turn off the lights. I was panting and paranoid [ed. REAGAN REAGAN REAGAN!!!], sure that when the room-service waiter knocked and I didn’t answer, he’d call the police and have me arrested for being unable to handle my candy.
I strained to remember where I was or even what I was wearing, touching my green corduroy jeans and staring at the exposed-brick wall [ed. OH RONNY!]. As my paranoia deepened, I became convinced that I had died and no one was telling me.
And then I realized FUCK somebody beat me to my obvious joke...obviously.
6 comments:
Hunter S. Thompson she ain't.
"I became convinced that I had died and no one was telling me"...the pot and four bottles of chardonnay will do that to you mododummy.
Hahahahahaaha. Oh boy. Thanks. Best laugh of the day.
I was so hoping that this would lead to some plagiarism of Hunter S. Thompson, to wit: "And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was screaming: 'Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?'"
Dowd, on the other hand, eats a bit too much pot candy, curls up in a ball and wonders if she's dead, never realizing for one moment that she's a lot more alive than her career is.
"I was right in the middle of a fucking reptile zoo, and somebody was giving booze to these goddamn things." That should take care of next years CPAC.
More like Bawbwa WAWA (What A Wussy Ass-soul); THC only makes one mellow, no hallucinations. Ya need LSD, peyote or magic mushrooms for those! Guessing (ala Slick Willie), she simply didn't inhale back in the day!
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