Friday, April 08, 2005

In Honor of the Papacy

You know I think there is a good chance that Bush may convert and go "old school Christian" today...I can just see him now..."Say this Jesus Cracker is tasty! I enjoy this transmutilation thingy. Laura, these people got a nice place here, we're convertin'"

And so, with considerable help from Dear Leader and others...

I salute my favorite parody of ridiculous dogma:

There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, BUT!

I've never been one of them!

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:

They'll take you as soon as you're warm.


You don't have to be a six-footer.


You don't have to have a great brain.


You don't have to have any clothes on. You're


A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because


Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,

God gets quite irate.


Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.


Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.

God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed

In your neighbourhood.

Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,

But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood!

Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
God needs everybody's.

Mine! And mine! And mine!

Let the Pagan spill theirs

O'er mountain, hill, and plain.

God shall strike them down for

Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.

Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,

God gets quite iraaaaate!