Attaturk on Safire

Y'know for a moment, even that title makes me go ewwww.

But I'm not referring to that you sickos! Bill Safire would never be forcibly put into the human fleshpile that awaits me in GITMO circa 2007, you know that! I'm resigned to being at the bottom of the pyramid because I have a solid base.

But enough about my future, at least I'm likely to still be living independent of mechanical pumps, space age polymers, and viscous fluids in 2007, that's something that Safire hasn't been able to say since Bush I.

Safire was programed by Chimpy's IT people to be the "wise old hand" today.

In the spirit of Wild Bill, I would like to say that I rank this column about the second worst of the 20 second inaugural address columns that Safire has written.

It is surpassed in infamy only by his column about Grover Cleveland's second inaugural speech. In that column he complained the speech did not contain enough information about "the scandalous shortening of Petticoats revealing vile toes"; did not address "the Skullduggery of the Grange Movement"; and "failed to strongly enough advocate child exposure for the darkies and chinamen".

Alas, Alas.