Professor Plum declares

Col. Mustard in the Kitchen with a Birth Certificate!

BEHOLD THE POWER OF TENURE!

If you have not already read and re-read (for the updates!) this blog post from a conservative law professor at Cornell about Barack Obama and dijon mustard, you should probably just go kill yourself for missing out.

Our jaw dropped somewhere around Update #4, but by Update #7 we were sobbing. It is now at Update #9 and this Wonkette post is taking forever to write because we cannot stop clapping. ART, people, there is ART occurring here.

*This* is how to go fucking nuts, live on the Internet.

This TRULY requires a "REAL MEN OF GENIUS" ad doesn't it?

"Here's to you Mr. Tenured Internet Nob ("Mr. Tenured Internet Nob"),
you make Glenn Reynolds seem positively lucid.

No, no high-falutin' use of your degree for you, ("I demand to see that birth certificate!") because you've got an insane right-wing psychodrama in your head that will not go until you put it on the internet and there's not a damn thing the University can do to you.

Now that's worth a 'Heh, indeed!' " ("Mr. Tenured Internet Nob")