Souter retires -- I'm available

So long, good job. And now on with the show.

Steady work, good income, health insurance, get to wear figure-flattering black robe, lots of ambitious interns, "laaaddiiess". Chance to point and laugh at Clarence Thomas and Anthony Scalia every god damned day.

Except for having to understand shit, I'm completely qualified. Just think of all the pithy bon mots and fucks I could put in my consenting opinions?

I've got to have a better shot than Bork!

Oh, I suppose Obama will go an appoint someone who is qualified and shit. Frickin' do gooder.