This explains so much

Our distant relations, read the article for the conclusion reached in the excerpt:

...the ancestor of all complex animals not only resembled a sponge, it actually was a sponge. "If you had a time machine and brought back the last common ancestor of all living animals, and you gave it to an invertebrate zoology class, they'd call it a bath sponge," says Peterson.

As denying science -- and in particular evolution -- is becoming an article of faith in the Whig Republican Party, the irony of them denying they are related to things that are "absorbent" (or "suck") has an ironic right to it.

Republicans, not "sponge-worthy".