Monday, December 30, 2013

Fu...I mean, Ducked

Phil Robertson is really into making dumbass statements.
At a Sportsmen’s Ministry talk in 2009, Robertson had some advice for a young man. “Make sure that she can cook a meal, you need to eat some meals that she cooks, check that out,” he said. “Make sure she carries her Bible. That’ll save you a lot of trouble down the road. And if she picks your ducks, now, that’s a woman.” “They got to where they’re getting hard to find,” Robertson remarked. “Mainly because these boys are waiting until they get to be about 20 years old before they marry ‘em. Look, you wait until they get to be 20 years old, the only picking that’s going to take place is your pocket.” The Duck Commander company founder added: “You got to marry these girls when they are about 15 or 16, they’ll pick your ducks.


Athenawise said...

"Picks your ducks" is code for fellatio on demand.

Anonymous said...

I see a George Zimmerman like arc here -- wingnut hero one day, but when you find out more about him...silence. They'll move on and find someone else.

And no one will remember.

Le Chifforobe said...

I agree with the previous commenter. The George Zimmerman Arc of Wingnut Celebrity is seen frequently enough that it needs a name with some zip.


"Zimmerman's Rainbow"
"Newton's Rotten Apple"
"One-hit Wingnut"

Anonymous said...

"....marry these girls when they are about 15 or 16" omits the part about them being related as well

Le Chifforobe said...

I just thought of another name for what a One-Hit Wingnut such as Zimmerman has become:

a "White Trash Elephant".

pansypoo said...

smart my ass. i have been trying to block all dim duck shit since my aunt 1st mentioned this shit. like honey boo boo a sign of the fall of TLC, DD is the end of A&E. i haven't turned either channel on in eons. slippery slope to 'ow, my balls'. realitee teevee my ass. shit, teevee. PBS PBS PBS

pansypoo said...

oh, + get a goddamned dog or pick up your own dead ducks. asshole.

LearSpanBlog said...

I gotta get me one of those mother-pluckin, duck-pickin, 15-year old cook-suppers.