Monday, November 01, 2004

Many Satisfying Moments Possible...

If Kerry wins, and I think he will, for many reasons. The most prominant being that amongst independents he leads in pretty much every poll above and beyond the margin of error. There will be many satisfying moments. Of course, there will be the happiness involved in seeing my country saved from four more years of Bush.

But there will be more.

And one of the most satisfying will be watching the punditry twitter and pretend they knew it all along. Of course, we know that is complete bullshit. Anybody who watched a small bit of the travesty that is any of these talking head shows knows this. Should Kerry pull out a clear victory, I look forward to what should be the following acts of justice:

The "Jonestownesque" quality of November 3rds Fox Morning Crew ("Fox und Freunde"). They'll open with an appropriate dirge, followed by a recreation of the last scenes in the Reichstag Bunker, if 'Dolph & Eva had decided to take Jesse Owens with them in their final moments on earth.

I look forward to the ultra "hangdog expression" on the face of Britt Hume as, in his final moments, he dictates his final testament, takes to the ledge of the 40th floor, jumps and screams out, his words dopplering, "tell Tony Snow, I'll always love hi..THWACK".

Tweety & Andrea Mitchell literally have their spines snap off at C-1, C-2, as they react to the new reality they had denied as early as the evening before and pretending they never said otherwise.

Ah, but fantasies are rarely fulfilled. So back to reality.

I hope in the next four years, their dinner invitations SUCK! Of course, they probably will not, such influence do they pretend to wield, but if they still get invited to parties, I encourage the liberal distribution of stray hair in their hors d'oeuvres.

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