DeDurkheim at the Coronation

Well, hello dear Rising Hegemon readers!

I am writing this with a lap top while hiding out here in Wershinton with all the religious nuts, republicans, conservatives, and neocons whooping it up for their boy Georgie. I have to tell you that I have not seen so many cowboy boots and bra staples since the Texas epsiode of Nip/Tuck, ok really since I managed to get into the GOP convention a few months back.

This time though, I have managed to get good access and avoid Ann Coulter. See me here in this photo behind Laura:


Oops, forgot my tie.

Or here behind Jenna:

Remembered to get the tie on, whew but I had to move upwind of Denny Hastert -- man that guy has some wicked stink.

I was even able to tell a joke about liberals and get a good response from some mean looking folks:

Note to self... remember to take shower later and get the stench of evil off me.

How was I able to infiltrate several millions of dollars worth of security? Well, first it was organized and ran through the D.C. police. That helped. But to tell the truth, how was I able to get closer than a dirty bomb to the Bush bunch? Well, it turns out that according to some people (you know who you are!) I look like James Dobson. That's right, that intolerant using Christianity like a whack-a-mole game James Dobson. Apparently, he is home sick or something. I guess he and Fred Phelps went to Montana to yell at some gay men and lesbian women who wanted to be treated fairly.

Here's how it started. I decided that I would go to DC and join my brothers and sisters in protesting His Royal Idiocy and I walk into some hotel decorated to look like some weird Texas ranch and people come running up to me. Good to see you Mr. Dobson. Here is your pass Mr. Dobson. Come with me and I will escort you Mr. Dobson. They had cookies and hot chocolate and I was cold after marching in the street so I went with them.

The next thing I know, I was whisked to the capital building and escorted into some bleachers. Then the Bushies and all these politicians show up and well, there I am.

The cornation was a bit boring. With no Daily show guy to talk to all we had to listen to was Bush talking about how hard it is to take the oath of orifice.

"Its hard... really hard to repeat dem lines of the orifice of office!"

Which was actually pretty funny. But unlike during the repugnicrat convention there were no hidden progressive reporters to talk with or to help hide from Sean Hannity who kept scouring the crowd looking for anyone who might be willing to replace Alan Combes on that program of his.


"You mean I never won a real election Laura, snort, snort... ha ha ha ha ha..."
"George its really not that funny, in fact its kinda..."

I will write more later but apparently I have to give something called a benediction at some event. I hope they like that joke I told Babs and George I.