Doug Feith's Special DOD Commissioned Muslim Surprise

In a gesture of tolerance and kinship with our muslim friends, the Department of Defense requested that Douglas Feith create a recipe sure to get a positive reception from those who want to know the care and depth of cultural sensitivity the Bush Administration has for you, fellow people of faith.

DOUG FEITH'S MUSLIM SURPRISE


First, invite over a half-dozen or so muslim scholars and influential leaders who do not detest American Foreign Policy...okay settle for four, three if you don't count Iyad Alawi.

Remember not to invite Chalabi.

INGREDIENTS:
3/4 cup water
1/3 cup lemon juice
1/3 cup chopped onion
1 tablespoon packed brown sugar
1 tablespoon chopped green onion
1 tablespoon crude oil
3/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon ground allspice
3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 cup of ground mustard gas
3/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme, crushed
1/2 cup spirit crushed
1/4 cup of cherries, picked
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper, or to taste
6 lean pork chops, 1/2 inch thick

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DIRECTIONS:
Combine water, lemon juice, onion, brown sugar, green onions, oil, salt, allspice, cinnamon, black pepper, thyme, and cayenne pepper and rest of ingredients in a blender or food processor, in a pinch use a centrifuge. Blend until smooth. Reserve 1/2 cup for basting. Go to mosque to pray, keep your shoes on, take your porno mags with you.

Place pork chops in extra shallow glass dish. Pour remaining marinade and international goodwill over the meat. Cover, and refrigerate at least 12 hours, but no longer than 24 hours. Ah hell, you work for the Bush Administration, that sucker doesn't need more than an hour or two before you invade the fridge and pull it out.

Preheat grill for medium heat. Place grate 4 to 5 inches above heat source.
Oil the grill grate, grate as much as possible, in fact be extra grating. Arrange chops on grate, and discard marinade as well as contradictory intelligence. Cover grill, and cook chops for 10 minutes, turning once, or to desired doneness, if not properly done, just say "close enough" and claim that to say otherwise is giving aid and comfort to the enemy.

Serve chops with car magnet "support the troops" red, white & blue garnish, beam proudly, report back to President, get Medal of Freedom and hefty book contract. Drop jaw in confused indignation if guests act all huffy, insulted and islamofascist.