MATLOCK!!!

Electronic Voting Machines are GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAT! without a paper-trail, no matter what Democrats say, let me have my friend the shill for the Electronic Voting Machine industry tell you all about it.

Oh, wait, I forgot to tell you he's a shill for the Electronic Voting Machine industry in my column.

That would require some modicum of journalistic standards and ethics. That's something for those crazed bloggers!