Wednesday, November 23, 2011

One of our national nightmares is in abeyance

Good news everyone...there isn't another Republican Presidential Debate for you to follow only through the posting of horrific quotes for more than two weeks. Apparently the candidates will be busy fighting the War on Chanukah ("C" vs. No "C") amongst other things -- although I'm just going to throw it out there and say Rick Santorum will be celebrating Ashura.

But what a paradigm of modern GOP Wingnuttery we had last night as CNN, last seen sponsoring a debate with the "Tea Party", joined forces with the Heritage Foundation and the American Enterprise Institute on the subject of who will make the rubble in Iran bounce higher Foreign Policy. With such neo-con luminaries as Paul Wolfowitz, David Addington and Danielle Pletka asking questions via obliging former AIPAC employee Wolf Blitzer.

* We learned "Africa is a Country" from Rick Santorum, who must have heard that from Sarah Palin.

* Herman Cain said that despite his fear of mountains, if Israel demands we bomb Iran, well by golly who are we to say no?

* Ron Paul criticized the Patriot Act and the War on Drugs and was never heard from again.

* Willard Mitt Romney explicitly denied his first name was "Willard" (it is, but it is pronounced "Throat Warbler Mangrove") .

* Gingrich indicated he was open to allowing illegal immigrants to be in the U.S. legally. *record scratch*

Well, so long Newt's front runner status, that was almost not intolerant.

[cross-posted at Firedoglake]


StonyPillow said...

Obviously 0bama is the luckiest man on the face of the earth to have opponents like these.

jimmiraybob said...

Gingrich indicated he was open to allowing illegal immigrants to be in the U.S. legally.

Contacted for clarification, his campaign issued a statement that Newt Now actually meant to say "...allowing illegal immigrants to be hunted in the U.S. legally."

Grover Norquist issued a statement saying that his foundation "sure hoped that there would not be any fees involved as that would constitute a new tax" and went on to challenge Newt Now to pledge that he will not tax Americans for hunting Illegal immigrants.

Lindsey Graham and Joe Lieberman held a joint news briefing to express concern that the hunting of Illegal immigrants should not stand in the way of attacking Iran and a strong international defensive posture in general (that would include preemptively attacking countries of color....uh, seen as a threat by the new John McCain Foundation for Recognizing Dangerous Threats That Need to be Bombed).

Reached for comment Sarah Palin said, "I do too read many magazines and newspapers and defeat we must always occupying Obama govment and happy national pie day, also too.....Trig"

Montag said...

Jaysus, Heritage, AEI, CNN and the U-boat commander all in on eliciting the foreign policy expertise of a passel of moral gimps, freaks, know-nothings and psychopaths.

I think television has come up with a new reality show: "So You Wanna Be President?"

pansypoo said...

newt does have a mccant like aspect.