Friday, May 20, 2005

And for his next award...the International Incontinentia Maximus

Sigh, is there a more pathetic news item than this?


President George W. Bush (L) receives the International Republican Institute 'Freedom Award' from Senator John McCain (R-AZ) at the IRI Dinner in Washington, May 18, 2005. Photo by Mannie Garcia/Reuters


Geez. I remember when Republicans first started giving awards like this, it was much simpler. Many may not recall these prior awards.


May 1873, President Grant awarded, "International Republican Frenchified Scandal Award". Angry Grant, pounds wiskey, stubs out Cigar butt in Schuyler Colfax's face, unleashes James West and Artemis Gordon and their incredibly tight pants, on innocent, unsuspecting Western frontier.


June 1884, Miracles are proclaimed and awards bestowed, when the image of Republican Presidential candidate James G. Blaine appears on a gravy pitcher. True to his nature, Blaine promptly pockets the pitcher and sells it on "telegraph bay".


September 1901, President William McKinley is awarded "Cuba's Man of the Year Award", strangely and sadly, the award is presented in Buffalo.


July 1907, in a telling sign of things to come a century later, President Theodore Roosevelt shoots black bear with Elephant Gun, prances around with fists in air like he'd done something miraculous. Receives another award for gallantry.


June 1912: The pride of being the Utah State Fair's first pie-eating champion still can be seen on the smiling visage of William Howard Taft. "Suck on it Mormons!", the Chief Executive was heard to cheer.


May 1922, President Harding reenacts for the press the Special "Return to Normalcy" Award he received from Senator Henry Cabot Lodge...a Presidential "Reach Around".

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