GOP Playbook

Alright, you've got your lowest approval ratings ever, with barely over 40% of the population feeling that you do not emit a foul & unpleasant odor. All this negativity is really starting to get to you. It may even keep you from invading "North Venezuesyriairanafrance". What can you do to stem the tide? Please choose from the following:

A. Send out your white evangelical legions to condemn Howard Dean for saying that the GOP is run by fundamentalist christian whites.

B. Announce that you have credible evidence that terrorists are plotting to destroy our nation's puppies and kitties.

C. Catch one of those No. 3 dudes.

D. Release old tape of H.R. Pufnstuff claim Witchiepoo rant is Osama threatening 'Murica.

E. Blow stuff up.

F. Announce one of the following is missing: (1) Jenna; (2) Not Jenna; (3) Laura; (4) Babs. In tearful address to the nation emphasize the victims substantial whiteness to worried citizens.

G. All of the Above.

And, from the Desk of Karl Rove:

Remember, should his popularity rating dip below 35%, call Dear Leader's Father, remind him of Cyanide Pill to be used for "Operation Grief".