We've got a "Far Side" President

There's a classic old Far-Side Cartoon where Gary Larson talked about what dogs hear. Basically, all they hear are their names and nothing else (while also later saying that cats do not hear even that much).

Well, judging by the gaggle yesterday (abridged as always by Holden) that is exactly what we have as President:

MR. McCLELLAN: Well, let me just say, first, that the President gets his information from the commanders and generals who are on the ground in Iraq, and he is fully confident that those leaders are firmly rooted in reality. He is regularly updated by his commanders and his generals on the ground; as he indicated earlier today, he spoke with General Abizaid; he's going to be talking with General Casey later this week. He is regularly kept up to date on the progress being made on the ground by his commanders, and they're the ones who have the best sense of what is happening on the ground and the progress that's being made.

I imagine that the briefing is somewhat like this.

Voice on Speaker: "Hello from the Green Zone, Mr. President"

Bush: "Is that you Lord?"

Voice on Speaker: "Mr. President, I've told you this before, this is General John Abizaid speaking to you from Iraq"

Bush: "Wow, you've got yourself a strong voice, he he he."

Voice on Speaker: "I'm on a speakerphone Mr. President"

Bush: Looks perplexed then angry. "I know that. So General things still good in Iraq?"

Voice on Speaker: "Well...um. Let me put it to you this way..."

WHAT ABIZAID SAYS:

Mr. President we launched a substantial attack yesterday near Ramadi and found several insurgent strongholds. The insurgents, however, were gone. We had a great number of I.E.D. explosions and they seem to exist in great numbers. We see little evidence of progress in depleting the insurgency."

WHAT BUSH HEARS:

Mr. President...substantial...great...great...progress in depleting the insurgency."