Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Out for Thanksgiving

Yes, it is almost time. Almost time for Atta J. Turk's favorite holiday, Thanksgiving.

Ah, the memories of a family Thanksgiving. There's no pressure to give gifts or appear holy, just spending time in the warmth and bosom of your family.

And it is that special family time that creates precious moments like:

Teaching Uncle Phil the meaning of a "bad touch" for the ninth or tenth straight year; hoping that Uncle Larry doesn't know that Aunt Phyllis is shagging Uncle Phil. And, of course, Cousin Marge who has just found out she has celiac disease and goes on and on ad nauseum about it, until somebody secretly blots the turkey with 'Wonderbread' just for the hell of it!

But mostly, Thanksgiving gives me a warm feeling in my decrepit ol' heart for one chief reason. Knowing that for thousands of "Values Conservatives" around the country this will be the day they find out that their sons or daughters are (to them) "afflicted" with "teh GAY". I don't know why exactly, but I do love the scent of nationwide karma floating about the atmosphere every 4th Thursday in November. There is, of course, nothing wrong with being gay -- rather, there is something quite wrong about being so obsessed about it's alleged ills, when there is nothing per se ill about it -- other than the hatred of it. I guess I just love seeing hypocrisy in its purest form.

And, further, based on no more evidence than I feel like it, let me state that I have a feeling this is going to be yet another memorable Thanksgiving for the Bush family.

Oh, I know the picture that they want us to have of a Bush Family Thanksgiving...

But even conservatives have to be honest that many Bush Family Thanksgivings are notable for a few regular events:

1. Jr. challenges dad to a fight after too much Wild Turkey.

2. Doro's husband tries to escape, only to be given a roofie by Babs. This leads to a really embarassing encounter for Marvin's leg.

3. Laura spends the afternoon scoping out George the Third, like Kirstie Allie checks out her pool boy.

But this year, will, I'm projecting be extra special.

For this is the year that young Barbara, fresh from her sojourn to South America tells the family that she won't be staying at the White House over the Holidays. No, she'll be staying over at Condi & Gwen Ifill's apartment, aka 'Fire Island on the Potomac'. The fact that she's coming out with those two will make it extreeeeee special for ol' Babs.

(Photo from, well, me)

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