"WE'RE FAPPING!"

(Warning: Pages may stick together)

I am sorry to say, Rich Lowry is now typing with only one hand on the keyboard:

A very wise TV executive once told me that the key to TV is projecting through the screen. It's one of the keys to the success of, say, a Bill O'Reilly, who comes through the screen and grabs you by the throat. Palin too projects through the screen like crazy. I'm sure I'm not the only male in America who, when Palin dropped her first wink, sat up a little straighter on the couch and said, "Hey, I think she just winked at me." And her smile. By the end, when she clearly knew she was doing well, it was so sparkling it was almost mesmerizing. It sent little starbursts through the screen and ricocheting around the living rooms of America

Rich Lowry is ruining those new towels.

Seriously, has Rich ever kissed a girl (drunken K-Lo at the X-Mas party doesn't count), a boy, an animal?