"Dear Hasbro Corporation,

Have you ever considered manufacturing "The Nerf Shoe"?

Could be productively used against all manner of former Presidents (or perhaps one in particular) without the nasty Secret Service over-reaction.

Would sell quite well, I should think, at the Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport.

Please direct all royalties to my PayPal account.

Sincerely,

Atta J. Turk"