Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Because Sharks are no longer interesting enough to scare us...

We have found a new scary monster!

Although it's native to the Amazon, a testicle-eating fish species called "Pacu" has been turning up in places including Denmark, France and Illinois

Now, a large Pacu has been found in northern New Jersey, just more than 10 miles outside New York City. 

Retired bus driver Tom Boylan hooked a 10-inch-long Pacu on Saturday at Third Ward Veteran's Memorial Park in Passaic, N.J., according to The Bergen Record, which posted a photo of the fish.

Pacu have wide teeth shaped like molars and strong jaw muscles that allow them to crack open tree nuts and other tough aquatic foods. Somewhat terrifyingly, however, the fish have been known to mistake human testicles for tree nuts. Two men in New Guinea reportedly died from blood loss after a Pacu chomped on theirs.

Okay, two additional things we've learned from this article:

1.  It doesn't actually eat testicles...deliberately.

2.  The Amazon is so long it not only flows through much of South America...but also half-way around the world, through the Pacific and into New Guinea (logically even were this true,  I have the technicalities of the river's flow wrong, but in the spirit of the article just go with it).

Oh, and a bit of research reveals what the Huffington Post apparently could not suspect well enough (New Guinea and Amazon and no suspicion at all, huh?) that this "testicle-biting" is all a big ole hoax.

Maybe Ted Cruz should talk about it...seems factually accurate enough for him.


DanF said...

Because of it's size, the pacu has been distributed far and wide as a food source - including New Guinea where locals claim it has attacked people. But no - they are a not a credible danger to your balls. Hanging out with fraternity brothers and mimicking "Jackass" movies will result in far more ruptured scrotums than the sum-total of all the pacu-human encounters ever will.

So it's not a hoax per se, just the media doing what they do best - running with partial information in a desperate bid to scare you into paying attention to them. "Can washing your hair kill you? Should you let your child ride the bus? Tune in and tune out at eleven!"

kingweasil said...

"running with partial information" there's something new!who could have imagined the media would do that?

pansypoo said...

wo needs actual facts. speculation is where its at.

Anonymous said...

The Amazon candiru fish, however, is not a hoax --

The candiru’s fearsome and gruesome reputation, however, stems from its reputed habit of following the scent of urine and entering the urethra of an unsuspecting human victim. After entering the penis or vagina, the candiru heads “upstream” then secures itself in place with clusters of hook-like spines situated on its head. As the candiru feeds, its body expands causing excruciating pain. Surgery or amputation (for male victims) is required to remove the fish