Sir Richard

Richard Cohen is over at the WaPo taking questions from readers daring him to justify his ridiculous column begging mercy for one of the gentrified class in D.C. Though each answer is a beauty (go see for yourself), here is an example of his snootiness in full force:

Four counts, not one: Why did your column minimize the charges Libby was convicted of -- namely, one count of obstruction, two counts of perjury and one count of lying to the FBI about how he learned Plame's identity and whom he told? You only mentioned "perjury," but isn't the obstruction charge the most venal? It hampered the investigation and stymied investigations of others involved in leaking Plame's name and CIA employment. Isn't that so?

Richard Cohen: No. I didn't mean to minimize it, I just meant to write in shorthand because it's a column and I have a maximum amount of words. But the special prosecutor knew immediately who leaked to Novak -- and it wasn't Libby. Let me just say that I put my name on my column, so I don't even know why I'm responding to someone without a name, but since I'm answering to other people, I'll say that the ability of the press to ferret out information and use anonymous sources and to guarauntee to those sources that they'll remain convidential has been shredded by this case. Reporter after reporter was compelled to give up their sources. This has been a very bad case for the American press and for the American public and it's all about nothing. A leak. And I think the people who were pressuring the DoJ to appoint a special prosecutor were angry about the war and were hoping pulling the string could unravel the whole thing. They lost sight of the basic principles involved taht had to do with the ability of the press to cover a story. You had the jailing of a reporter and now the jailing of a White House aide that almost no one had heard of before this started.

It must be nice to be so mighty, and so pathetic to have to wallow in the mud with the rest of us.

Congrats

To (just a second, must cut and paste) Rajiv Chandrasekaran (ah) for winning yet another award:

LONDON - A vivid account of life inside Baghdad's Green Zone has won Britain's richest nonfiction book prize.

"Imperial Life in the Emerald City," by Rajiv Chandrasekaran, bureau chief in Baghdad for The Washington Post from April 2003 to October 2004, took the $60,000 Samuel Johnson Prize for Nonfiction on Monday.

I believe this is also the time period in which Jonah Goldberg completed the design for his book's cover. Now, someday he'll have to find a way to actually finish the contents...cannot someone buy this man crayolas? Or does he just eat them as he gets 'em?

Meanwhile, Frank Gaffney's latest book hasn't won anything:

Sure it's easy to criticize Giuliani

For accepting a spot on the Iraq Study Group in the Spring of 2006 when he was thinking of running for Duce President and being forced to resign for not attending and saying it was because he was thinking of running for Lord of the Sith President in the Fall of 2006. But Rudy is a man with other priorities, like running for Dark Lord of Mordor President while exploiting the death of others for fun and PROFIT!:

1. Judy is high-maintenance.

2. His prior divorce decrees are high-maintenance.

3. Keeping Bernie Kerik quiet is, uh, high-maintenance. Why the buffing alone...

4. Paying off your children to keep their mouth's shut, in place of actual affection, high-maintenance.

5. Bionic Prostate? High maintenance.

6. Crack? Expensive. Employing crack dealers, really expensive.

7. Defense Lawyers, expensive.

8. Divorce Lawyers, really expensive.

9. Toupee budget, okay, had to save $ somewhere, he's not Bloomberg y'know.

10. Using image of running away from collapsing buildings, while implying that those who actually died trying to save lives within them and their colleagues are money-grubbing union whores while you make $100,000 for 45 minutes of empty platitudes to your implacable running away style....PRICELESS!

My favorite current commercial

Is for "Secret Clinical Strength" anti-perspirant. An early middle-aged junior high teacher is speaking to the camera about her prior uncontrollable Stephanie Miller-level sweating when she says...

"You don't want a bunch of kids to see you with wetness stains"

Truly words for John Derbyshire to live by.

UPDATE: Disgusted in St. Louis reminds me of an obvious point, this post really should be forwarded to Chris Matthews and other pundits who need information regarding Republican candidate smells, like my dog needs to identify fire hydrant clues.

Here's your "Makin' Progress" illustrated

THIS

1943:


TO THIS

2007:

Kevin Lamarque/Reuters


Oh, yeah!

In fairness, if you add up all four of them you do get a record of 2-2-1*.


(granted the tie is debatable and I did not give Churchill the loss for Gallipoli though he probably deserves it)

Congratulations

To the indispensable Digby.

I too would have won awards in my time.

Except that I'm a horrible person with no demonstrable skills.

Why can't I be President too then?

Oh right.

Frat Boy plays

"Psych!"

REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst

Meanwhile, when is he going to help get Geronimo's bones back to his proper resting place (which is not as a beer stein).

He can give Skull & Bones Saddam's gun or something (rich, drunk, white boys with guns, what could possibly go wrong?)

Well

Building upon what Res said below, I can only imagine what would have happened to Ann Althouse if Hillary Clinton filmed her Sopranos ad parody at "Nathan's Famous".



Or God forbid...


I believe a scene from Scanners would follow.

Maureen Dowd asks a key question about Maureen Dowd

Where’s a black screen when you need one?

There Are Some Things You Can't Cover Up With Lipstick & Powder

Like, for example, barely contained insanity.

Jun 18, 2007 05:27 PM EST

The time of death of Roger Simon's "mancrush" on Mitt Romney.

Bada & Bing: The Love Story Continues

When last we left our heroes, Vanity Fair's Michael Wolff was exploring the fatal attraction between these two paragons of New York virtue. Months later, a lonely, demoralized, and alienated Bing speaks out about his new perspective on the criminal justice system, his new gig, and life after Bada.

"I accept the distance created by Giuliani. I understand it, but inside, it's killing me. It's like dying a slow death, watching him have to answer for my mistakes..."

Bing, who is currently working for the Jordanian government building an "underground, seismic-shock proof, oxygen-stowing compound that could withstand a nuclear attack" goes on to say:

"At least here in Jordan, I stand half a chance," Kerik whined. "Back home, it's death by a thousand cuts - cuts to your emotions, finances, family and your life. Now is the darkest time in my life, and nothing I have been through has gotten me ready for it. I am truly f- - -in' afraid.

No word on whether the Jordanian compound can withstand the scrutiny of the campaign '08 press pack, wiretapping equipment ordered up by Jeanine Pirro, or the wrath of Bing's ex, would-be O.J. book publisher Judith Regan.

Oh Jiminy Learned FUCKING Hand!!!

Antonin Scalia, ladies and gentlemen, Supreme Court Justice:

Justice Antonin Scalia is one of the most powerful judges on the planet.

The job of the veteran U.S. Supreme Court judge is to ensure that the superpower lives up to its Constitution. But in his free time, he is a fan of 24, the popular TV drama where the maverick federal agent Jack Bauer routinely tortures terrorists to save American lives. This much was made clear at a legal conference in Ottawa this week.

Senior judges from North America and Europe were in the midst of a panel discussion about torture and terrorism law, when a Canadian judge's passing remark - "Thankfully, security agencies in all our countries do not subscribe to the mantra 'What would Jack Bauer do?' " - got the legal bulldog in Judge Scalia barking.

The conservative jurist stuck up for Agent Bauer, arguing that fictional or not, federal agents require latitude in times of great crisis. "Jack Bauer saved Los Angeles. ... He saved hundreds of thousands of lives," Judge Scalia said. Then, recalling Season 2, where the agent's rough interrogation tactics saved California from a terrorist nuke, the Supreme Court judge etched a line in the sand.

IT'S A FUCKING TELEVISION SHOW YOU HORRIBLE ASS!!

The Blood Pressure

Was a-spiking thanks to that Wanker Cohen column. So how about the "Geekiest Thing EVER put on Television?"



Especially at about 4:10

Obamagirl makes John Bolton do the old

Cover/Discover routine.

And suddenly, Atlas Juggs is favorably inclined toward fatwas.

Thar they blow

The Kagans out for a swim, where's a harpoon when you need it?

Bill Kristol's & Fred Barnes' Love Boat of War Whores is afloat and polluting Alaska at levels unseen seen Captain Hazelwood's last encounter with Ol' Grandad.

MONDAY MORNING began early with an all-star panel discussion featuring Kimberly Kagan (author of The Iraq Report), Frederick Kagan (one of the authors of the Baghdad Security Plan), and Military.com's Christian Lowe to discuss Iraq, the Surge, and the state of American foreign policy. Kimberly Kagan talked about the details of how American strategy changed when Gen. Casey's command gave way to Gen. Petraeus while Frederick Kagan discussed the state of Sunni-Shia conflicts and the particular role of al Qaeda in Iraq. Afterwards, they were joined by Bill Kristol and Michael Gerson and the topics broadened to include the perils of a nuclear Iran, the strategic implications of a rising China, and the state of affairs with Putin's Russia.

I'm guessing few people counseled caution.

Remember kids, war crimes can be committed in International Waters.

Well, he does claim

To know comedy...but man, if there's a less-informed, more pro-establishment, privileged WHITE GUY-centric column in the Washington Post this year (and that's saying something) than this bilge from Richard Cohen it'll involve burying an illegal alien-groundskeeper at Congressional Country Club.

UPDATE:

Eric Boehlert takes Cohen to the woodshed and drops him in a chipper.


UPDATE II:

Glenn Greenwald takes the fragments of Cohen left after Boehlert is done, congeals remainder-Cohen into a paste, takes it out to sea and feeds him to the fishes.

Brokeback Accomplished

I wish they could quit us...

Larry Kaplow and Christopher Dickey write in Newsweek about the mutually sycophantic and dependent relationship between Bush and Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki. "[T]he dour-faced Shiite politician's aides say he often brightens up after talking to the U.S. president one-on-one, whether by phone, in person or in a videoconference. 'You can see how happy he is,' says Sami Al-Askari, a close adviser, speaking of past encounters. 'Mr. Bush encourages him.' . . .

Looks like Bush was three-timing the Poodle and Barney.

No Hugging. No Learning.

Yeah, yeah, I know I said I'd offered a Last Word on "The Sopranos" last week; but that was a Last Word re the finale, not the last word on "The Sopranos" itself.

Besides, this strikes me as spot-on re Tony and the whole sick crew.

Bada Bing!

Liberal Confessional

The late, great "Morning Sedition" used to do a reguarly recurring bit called "Liberal Confessional" wherein listeners would call in and confess their liberal "sins" to hosts Marc Maron and Mark Riley. Examples: "I am dying to buy a Cadillac Escalade." "I run my air conditioner 24/7 from Memorial Day to Labor Day." "I love McDonald's." "I am attracted to Condoleezza Rice." (And no, I did not make that last one up, people!)

Well, shhhhhh! Don't tell anyone, but here is my Liberal Confession: I have no desire to read even one article in Vanity Fair's "Africa" issue. I don't know if it's outrage fatigue, the hyper-earnestness of the whole effort, that Bono has become annoying, the absence of contributions by James Wolcott or Michael Wolff, that Graydon Carter spent millions to have Annie Liebovitz bathe celebrities (including, incredibly, George W. Bush and the aforementioned Condi Rice) in rich halos of do-gooderism, or if I just don't care, but I am not reading that thing. I'm going to take it with me this morning and leave it in a coffee shop.