Friday, May 26, 2006

And his "Towncar" would suck!

Tweety called Dear Leader's faux mistake listing last evening as "a little bit of Lincoln". It was fun watching a series of analysts, including fellow MSNBC blastocyst Joe Scarborough, come forward and say in so many words that Matthews was insane.

There are three particular failings of Chris Matthews that stand out from all the other failings:

1. He apparently needs to talk in order to breathe.

2. He is obsessed with gossip, especially sex gossip about the Clintons (hardly alone, the mighty "Cleni" are the prom King and Queen of D.C. apparently)

3. He has a mancrush on Bush that rivals the Powerline boys after they've been forced to wear anti-masturbation mittens for a week.

It was out in full-force last night, but he had to endure forty-five minutes of people telling him the object of his obsession had a hairy mole and emitted an unpleasant odor.

Bush as Lincoln, I've always pictured Bush as more a Jefferson Davis kind of guy, without the intellect or the horrid neck beard. Like Davis, Bush is prickly, vain and stubborn.

Now if Lincoln was possessed of Bush's skill, we cold have sped up the conquest of the Confederacy by about 115 years. If Bush was Lincoln he would have sailed off across the Atlantic by the Summer of '61.

However, if Lincoln had Bush's eloquence we'd have this:

The Lincoln-Douglas Debates

March 4, 1861

January 1, 1863

November 19, 1863

March 4, 1865

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