Doofuses Go International

Over the last two years, I, as a midwestern youngin' raised on all the traditional American sports have started to watch more and more soccer (the original and more aptly named football) on Saturday mornings. Naturally, I'm a complete ignoramus, but nonetheless I've gotten into the English Premier League -- I know enough of it now to know I'm supposed to loathe Manchester United (and laugh at their AIG sponsored shirts before I get angry about the fact I'm subsidizing that bullshit).

But picking a team to root for when you have absolutely no connections to the country other than vague historical ones we all do. That's difficult (stupid and pointless, yes, but still difficult).

So I and a few others had a chat and just picked teams the way stupid people do with only one rule. It cannot be one of the top-four teams in that league that dominate (see, I'm learning -- took two years but I'm learning). The real battle is to choose a lovable loser that won't get relegated (see, learning).

So, one friend chose Tottenham Hotspur because they liked the name and well, I was just happy the friend picked a team even though they really aren't a threat to lose big (learning!). Another friend, our twittering genius DeDurkheim picked Burnley (the mighty Clarets) and I chose Stoke (the Potters).

Feel free to choose one of your own based upon the rules (cannot be Man U., Chelsea, Arsenal or Liverpool) and as the season starts today we'll see how it ends up in mid-May. And remember, it's not so much about results as it is about picking a team for the most lovable reasons.

And yes, this is incredibly lame.