Atta J. Turk's pretty trusty NFL Picks

Another week another series of completely unprofitable straight-up winners that don't involve a point spread because you'd be an idiot to listen to my suggestions about what games to bet on. Nevertheless, a 5 and 1 week marred only by the the absolutely tremendous game the Cardinals turned in against the Vikings. That makes me 51 and 27 -- and extremely non-rich because of it. Good thing I didn't discuss the recent Steeler or Patriot games. Dodged a few bullets there.

Lions at Ravens. This is an example of a game you pick that helps you achieve a 51 and 27 record. The Ravens are freaking desperate and coming off a dog of a performance against the Packers. The Lions are coming off 33 dog-like weeks out of the last 36. On the other hand in real life, I'd like the odds of a Lion versus a Raven. But this is football life and I'm not insane, just off. Ravens will win fairly big.

Broncos at Colts: This is how the season works out for the Broncos. Won six in a row; lost four in a row; won two in a row. Pretty impressive, except here are the stats for the Colts, won 20 21 in a row. Peyton Manning and his gargantuan "Metalunan Forehead" will come through again. Take the Colts.

Dolphins at Jaguars: Well, twelve games into the season I have managed to never give a shit about the Jacksonville Jaguars thinking they cannot possibly be a team worth really considering as y'know good. Certainly my feelings are no different than the people who actually live in proximity to the Jacksonville Jaguars who routinely play to just over 40,000 fans. Now, all of the sudden the Jaguars at 7 and 5 would be in the playoffs if the season ended today. But, of course, the season doesn't end today and the Dolphins will win.

Bills at Chiefs: Ah, truly who gives a shit?. Take the Chiefs and forget the game was ever played.

Bengals at Vikings: Ah, the Ochocinco's vs. the Favres. A man who seeks nothing less than to be noticed against the man who is far too often noticed. Apparently Ol' Chad now wants to be called a Japanese name and threatened to go up to the ridiculous Viking mascot and 'blow his horn'. What will we tell the children?! The league just fined "Johnson" $30,000 for trying to cast a charm spell to keep Lou Dobbs out of Cincinnati (for which he should be thanked). This should be a close game, but I'm giong to guess the Vikings will be pissed about how they played last week, as opposed to folding like they so often have -- and yes, that's my 'inner homer' talking. Take the Vikes.

Eagles at Cowboys: I'm a big fan of chaos, at least in stuff that doesn't really matter much -- when it matters, not a big fan. In fact, I'm a lousy anarchist. I'm really bad at doing stuff like making small bombs and tossing them at Constitional Monarchs and their estranged wives and nephews. Apparently, this is something I have in common with most people, especially in this modern age. Plus, I've never really had anything against McKinley until I found out Karl Rove liked him. But in football, chaos is awesome. If the Cowboys lose to the Chargers (and I think they will, but I'm not picking the game) and the Giants beat the Eagles, three teams will be 8 and 5 in that division. Awesome. And just for that fact, I'm taking the Giants.