"And furthermore, he is clearly hung like a horse!"

What does masturbation look like in language?

Well most of us just take the pedestrian approach of typing *fap* *fap* *fap*.

But Hugh Hewitt's Mitt-Love is so strong that he must put his masturbatory rituals into prose:

Mitt Romney's "Faith in America" speech was simply magnificent, and anyone who denies it is not to be trusted as an analyst. On every level it was a masterpiece. The staging and Romney's delivery, the eclipse of all other candidates it caused, the domination of the news cycle just prior to the start of absentee voting in New Hampshire on Monday - for all these reasons and more it will be long discussed as a masterpiece of political maneuver.

Somebody, and no thank you if you're asking, get that albino a towel.