Clearing His Head By Clearing Brush

Bush is "carefully monitoring" events in Asia from his home on the range as the death toll rises.

"He's been monitoring it very closely," White House spokesman Trent Duffy told reporters at a briefing here. "He's seen some of the images on television."

Yep, I'm sure he's really working hard at it. He has lots of thinkin' to do. In other words, he is cerebrating.

Bush also spent time clearing brush at his ranch and thinking about what he'll say in his inaugural speech and upcoming State of the Union address.

"Now is a time for him to, sort of, think about how he wants to address the American people," Duffy said, adding that there were no speechwriters at the ranch. "I think the best way to characterize it is there are some initial drafts."

Truth be told, that is probably exactly what he does: "sort of thinks".

So now we know what we call those brilliant ruminations he dutifully taps out on the old computer after coming in from his ranch chores. Probably gets Condi and the secret service detail to gather round as he reads aloud what he just wrote. I feel so much better knowing he is down on the ranch working off some of that stress and the extra 6 pounds he is carrying around. There's probably a kettle of pork and beans over an open fire, crackling and popping. The dinner bell rings as he is trying to polish off one last zinger for the state of the union address. Well, don't want to work too hard, need to go have a farting contest with the secret service after winning the who can eat more beans contest. Oh and tonight he gets a sarsaparilla for a special treat.