Forty-Five Seconds is enough

Despite my anonymous existence, I will give you a short Christmas insight into family dynamics over the holidays.

Not having broadband is an annoyance, but I'll take the slow connection rate and the light blogging it causes over the other scourge of my short-period of co-existence with my parents here in retirement land.

The fact that the default channel is the FoxNews Channel.

We do our best to deter them from watching it, but like Pavlov's dogs Attaturk's parents, generally otherwise fine people, cannot seem to not watch it.

My father and I had controlled the television for most of the afternoon, watching the latest in a long history of Minnesota Viking choke jobs. By the way, I believe that Paul Wolfowitz and Rummy are actually the Viking's Defensive Coordinators and Douglas Feith is coaching up the linebackers.

Sorry, I'm bitter.

Anyhoo, late yesterday afternoon, after my brother -- the diva of the family -- managed to seize control of the remote and watch the ultimate in high-brow entertainment, VH-1s Most Awesomely Bad Songs of all Time. When he and I left the room for a moment, like a bad apparition, my father turned to listen to the deep philosophical rantings of one Newt Gingrich.

And what was Newt on and on about?

Why the moral deterioration of the country because the liberal elite won't let people be Chrisitian!!!

Thrice married Newt said this.

As it is Christmas, allow me this special exclamation!!! CHRIST ON A CHRISTMAS CRACKER! When VH-1 has more intellectual content than a so-called news channel, consistently that is a bad sign.

So now you know why I cannot blog about anything substantial. I'm burying my anger in pounding egg nog.