Things I want to see LESS of in 2005

1. Celebrity Porn Tapes

2. Anyone with the last name of "Simpson"

3. Fewer Pete Rose Biopics

4. Michelle Magabagoolalalalalalaungulalangadangadingdong and her pop-culture diva portrayals of which ethnic groops need to be deloused and pajamaed.

5. Glenn Reynolds and "I'm with Cracker" T-Shirts

6. Tom Wolfe, White Suits, Books about Teenager Sex any of the three or combination thereof.

7. Being told that Freedom is on the March, while it's obviously curled up in a fetal position protecting its nads from being kicked repeatedly by the iron-tipped boot of Imperialism.

8. Rummy.

9. An intelligent mute button, awe fuck it, I'll just keep FoxNews deleted from my channel menu.

10. The world "liberal" and "media" in the same sentence.