I Know You Are, But What Am I?

The Preznit is now engaged in a debate with bin Laden about what the upcoming elections mean for the soul of Iraq. This is nice, the Preznit of the You-Nita States debating with an indicted terrorist about why the elections should go forward.

"The stakes are clear in this upcoming election," Bush told reporters at his Texas ranch. "It's the difference between the ability for individuals to express themselves and the willingness of an individual to try to impose his dark vision on the world, on the people of Iraq and elsewhere. It's very important that these elections proceed."

In an audiotape broadcast Monday, bin Laden called for a boycott of the election and said the Iraqi vote — for a national assembly to write a constitution — is being held under an interim constitution "imposed by the American occupation" and "infidel" because it did not rely solely on Islamic law.

"Therefore everyone who participates in this election will be considered infidels," bin Laden said.

Bush said bin Laden's vision stands in stark contrast to one viewed by a vast majority of Iraqis — that freedom of expression and the right to vote should prevail in Iraq.

"His vision of the world is where people don't participate in democracy," Bush said. "His vision of the world is where people kill innocent lives in order to affect their behavior and affect their way of living."

His vision is where people don't participate? His vision is where people kill innocent lives. Good Lord is this guy an idiot.

And in a moment you thought existed only in Faranheit 9/11, the Preznit had some sober words on Iraq and the shattered lives throughout Asia.

"The task at hand is to provide as much security as possible for the election officials, as well as for the people inside cities like Mosul, to encourage them to express their will," Bush told reporters at an airplane hangar at his ranch where he appeared to express personally his sorrow for the deadly earthquake and tidal waves in Asia.

No, he didn't give it the old, "Now watch this drive," but when asked about New Year's resolutions, the leader of the free world had something serious to say. (Warning: he doesn't resolve to find a way for peace on earth, food for the poor, or good-will for all people.)

The president wouldn't say whether he had New Year's resolutions, but he said he'd already offered a hint about one. He was referring to a comment he made on Dec. 11 after completing a physical at National Naval Medical Center outside Washington when he bemoaned the fact that his weight had increased to nearly 200 pounds from 194 about 17 months ago.

"My waistline," Bush said as he walked out of the hangar and got in his white pickup truck with his dog Barney.

That is quite an image emblazoned on the old brain, isn't it? There he goes, jolly happy with the state of the world, safe and secure for four more years, with no resolution but to trim a few pounds off his ass. With his dog Barney riding shotgun.