Terms of Embarrassment

I see that Editor and Publisher is reporting:

NEW YORK Universal Press Syndicate and conservative columnist Ann Coulter have reached an agreement on removing Universal's copyright from columns on AnnCoulter.com that differ from columns sent to newspapers.

Meanwhile, the Detroit Free Press reported that 26 members of U.S. Congress have sent a letter to Universal protesting Coulter's Feb. 23 column, in which the conservative writer called liberal columnist Helen Thomas an "old Arab" and implied Thomas was a security threat to President Bush.

The terms otherwise are confidential, but I assume they include:

Clause One: The parties both agree to the following references. Universal Press Syndicate will hereinafter be referred to as "Universal", Coulter will hereinafter be referred to as "le Skank" or "It".

Clause Two: The parties both wish to re-emphasize that Ms. Coulter is a cross-dressing skank with an armidillo in her trousers.

Clause Three: The parties both agree that "le Skank" has the privates of the Corporate Officers of "Universal" in a vice.

Clause Four: "Universals" owners agree that they have sold their immortal soul in return for a looksie at "le Skanks" membre de palpitation.

Clause Five: The parties agree that they are both an embarassment to themselves.