Randall Terry's Master Plan Comes to Fruition

We've all heard professional scum bag Randall Terry enjoy his return to the limelight and his proclamation that somehow, Terry Schiavo said "Aaaaa Waaaa" and it meant "I want to live" (as opposed to "I want Randall Terry's little testicles to shrivel into a painful blistered mass"). So with that in mind...

A little scene in nearly as bad a taste as Mr. Terry's day-to-day existence, with a tip of the hat to Gene Wilder and Mel Brooks:

EXT. THEATRE - NIGHT

A poster reads:

BUCHAREST STATE THEATRE

Tonight Only

R. TERRY

in

"THE GREATEST DISCOVERY SINCE FIRE"

Presented in Cooperation With

the
Evangelical Pseudo-Neurological Society

A "SOLD OUT" sticker is pasted across the poster.

CUT TO:

INT. AUDITORIUM - NIGHT 106

The audience is filled with ELDERLY SCIENTISTS, their
WIVES, and THE CURIOUS from the upper crust in society.

All are elegantly dressed in cheap movie studio wardrobe.


R. Terry stands on a stage, dressed in tails.


R. TERRY

And now, my fellow creationists and
born agains...I must ask you to
...continue to suspend belief.
For up until now, you have seen
Terry just lied there with her mouth
agape. You think that this woman is but
an inanimate blob, which I endowed
with the secret of perpetual life -- yes!.in
all honesty -- that showed some measure
of skill on my part.

But for what you are about to see
next...we must enter -- quietly --
into the realm of genius. I say
this modestly, only because I am,
myself, as in awe of the gifts I
possess as if I were observing them
in some other person. I think of
them, only, as a loan. Grateful, of
course...that my credit is good.
Thus, with the accumulated knowledge
of sophistry, ignorance, alchemy
...and pure bravado...I now present
what was once an inarticulate mass
of lifeless tissues.
Ladies and gentlemen...
Mesdames et Messieurs...
Damen und Herren...Terry Schiavo!

Randall sits down at a beautiful grand piano. He plays a
short trill up the keyboard.

ANOTHER ANGLE

as A SPOTLIGHT hits the darkness next to him.

And there -- IN TOP HAT AND TAILS -- rolls out Terry Schiavo.
she is heavily made up.

R. TERRY
(playing the piano
and singing)
If you're blue and you
don't know where to
go to, why don't you...

Terry Schiavo just sits there.

R. TERRY
...go where fashion
sits.........................

(Several minutes pass by)




TERRY SCHIAVO
Aaaaaaaa waaaaaaaa

R. TERRY
Diff'rent types who wear
a day coat, pants
with stripes and cutaway
coat, perfect
fits.........................

(After several more minutes)

TERRY SCHIAVO
Aaaaaa waaaaaa

R. TERRY
Dressed up like a
million dollar
trouper
Trying hard to
look like Gary
Cooper.

(About an hour goes by)

TERRY SCHIAVO

Aaaaaa Waaaaaaa

The Audience's faces are cheering wildly.

R. TERRY

Come let's mix where Rock-
e -- fellers walk
with sticks or 'um-ber-
el-las' in their
mitts.........................

(The next morning)

TERRY SCHIAVO

Aaaaa Waaaaa.