We've all heard professional scum bag Randall Terry enjoy his return to the limelight and his proclamation that somehow, Terry Schiavo said "Aaaaa Waaaa" and it meant "I want to live" (as opposed to "I want Randall Terry's little testicles to shrivel into a painful blistered mass"). So with that in mind...
A little scene in nearly as bad a taste as Mr. Terry's day-to-day existence, with a tip of the hat to Gene Wilder and Mel Brooks:
EXT. THEATRE - NIGHT
A poster reads:
BUCHAREST STATE THEATRE
"THE GREATEST DISCOVERY SINCE FIRE"
Presented in Cooperation With
Evangelical Pseudo-Neurological Society
A "SOLD OUT" sticker is pasted across the poster.
INT. AUDITORIUM - NIGHT 106
The audience is filled with ELDERLY SCIENTISTS, their
WIVES, and THE CURIOUS from the upper crust in society.
All are elegantly dressed in cheap movie studio wardrobe.
R. Terry stands on a stage, dressed in tails.
And now, my fellow creationists and
born agains...I must ask you to
...continue to suspend belief.
For up until now, you have seen
Terry just lied there with her mouth
agape. You think that this woman is but
an inanimate blob, which I endowed
with the secret of perpetual life -- yes!.in
all honesty -- that showed some measure
of skill on my part.
But for what you are about to see
next...we must enter -- quietly --
into the realm of genius. I say
this modestly, only because I am,
myself, as in awe of the gifts I
possess as if I were observing them
in some other person. I think of
them, only, as a loan. Grateful, of
course...that my credit is good.
Thus, with the accumulated knowledge
of sophistry, ignorance, alchemy
...and pure bravado...I now present
what was once an inarticulate mass
of lifeless tissues.
Ladies and gentlemen...
Mesdames et Messieurs...
Damen und Herren...Terry Schiavo!
Randall sits down at a beautiful grand piano. He plays a
short trill up the keyboard.
as A SPOTLIGHT hits the darkness next to him.
And there -- IN TOP HAT AND TAILS -- rolls out Terry Schiavo.
she is heavily made up.
(playing the piano
If you're blue and you
don't know where to
go to, why don't you...
Terry Schiavo just sits there.
...go where fashion
(Several minutes pass by)
Diff'rent types who wear
a day coat, pants
with stripes and cutaway
(After several more minutes)
Dressed up like a
Trying hard to
look like Gary
(About an hour goes by)
The Audience's faces are cheering wildly.
Come let's mix where Rock-
e -- fellers walk
with sticks or 'um-ber-
el-las' in their
(The next morning)