Apparently not on Mitt's guest list

Sometimes it's too easy:

What Are You Doing New Year's Eve? [Kathryn Jean Lopez]
Watching Kate O'Beirne on Meet the Press.
Posted at 8:57 AM

Not the ball-drop that most people watch on New Year's, but I guess to each their own.

Because he left the Box of Popcorn in his Parka

Dick has to try subtlety.

Modified from (AFP/Pool/Kevin Lamarque)

So many lowlights

For the Bush Administration, it is hard to pick one out. Other bigger blogs (was it Josh Marshall) have asked what was the moment it all fell apart for Bush?

Well there are many candidates, but I think the post-reelection started the ball rolling, the evident failure of Iraq made it permanent, and Katrina took it to new, permanent levels.

But back to after his reelection. December 2004, never has hubris been more on parade when Bush gave just three "Medals of Freedom" to George Tenet, Tommy Franks and Paul Bremer, all intimately connected to the fuck up that is Iraq all while the bloodiest battle to that point, the "re-taking" of Fallujah was occuring (November 2004 remains the bloodiest month of the war for Americans) and here was Bush revelling in his glorious non-victory.

In awarding Franks and Bremer, Bush stated words that are beyond laughable in their inaccuracy:

Franks:

The General likes to say that "no plan ever survived the first contact with the enemy." But in Iraq, Tommy Franks' plan did. A force half the size of the force that won the Gulf War defeated Saddam Hussein's regime and reached Baghdad in less than a month, the fastest, longest armored advance in the history of America warfare.

Today the people of Iraq and Afghanistan are building a secure and permanent democratic future. One of the highest distinctions of history is to be called a liberator, and Tommy Franks will always carry that title.

Bremer:

When America and our coalition needed a seasoned diplomat and a manager to help the people of Iraq emerge from decades of oppression, I knew where to turn. For 14 months, Jerry Bremer worked day and night, in difficult, dangerous conditions, to stabilize the country, to help its people rebuild, and to establish a political process that would lead to justice and liberty. The job was demanding, requiring personal courage, calmness under fire and hundreds of decisions every day.

Yet, Jerry not only rose to the challenge, he found time nearly every day to study the Arabic language. Jerry Bremer earned the respect and admiration of Iraqis, and helped to assemble an exceptional group of Iraqi leaders for the Governing Council. With his help, these leaders drafted the Transitional Administrative Law which charted the country's political future and established a bill of rights. In the final days of hammering out consensus on this landmark law, Jerry sat through day-long meetings, sometimes without ever speaking. His silence was essential to reassure Iraqis that the new law was entirely their own. Yet his presence was essential to reassure Iraqis of our coalition's steadfast commitment to their future and their success. Every political benchmark that the Iraqis set for themselves and that Jerry helped them meet was achieved on time or ahead of schedule, including the transfer of sovereignty that ended his tenure.

Even in December 2004 this seemed a farce, now it is among the greatest tragic-comedies in American history.

They Reported that Rummy was absent

From the Ford State Funeral today, even though he was an "honorary pallbearer". However, now I know why he wasn't there, Rummy had to say goodbye to another old friend:



Photo from The Unapologetic Mexican.

Saddam's Body

Nobody has said much about what they will do with it, but here is my guess.

Stuffed, mounted, shipped to Crawford, Texas.

Then re-mounted, several times.

Meanwhile in Texas

George Bush is undoubtedly watching the videotape and rubbing Saddam's pistol.

Run Barney, run!

I'll shed no tears over the death of Saddam Hussein, I'll save those for the more deserving victims of the Bush Administration's malevolent incompetence.

So how is everyone?

George Bush, best friend Iran ever had. And thank goodness Mexican Wrestlers are still getting work, that'll make Lou Dobbs happy.

Hell of a bargain for 700,000 dead and half-a-trillion bucks.

I'll let Robert Fisk, often a target of right-wing rage, but who has been repeatedly spot-on about Iraq speak for me:

Saddam to the gallows. It was an easy equation. Who could be more deserving of that last walk to the scaffold - that crack of the neck at the end of a rope - than the Beast of Baghdad, the Hitler of the Tigris, the man who murdered untold hundreds of thousands of innocent Iraqis while spraying chemical weapons over his enemies? Our masters will tell us in a few hours that it is a "great day" for Iraqis and will hope that the Muslim world will forget that his death sentence was signed - by the Iraqi "government", but on behalf of the Americans - on the very eve of the Eid al-Adha, the Feast of the Sacrifice, the moment of greatest forgiveness in the Arab world.

But history will record that the Arabs and other Muslims and, indeed, many millions in the West, will ask another question this weekend, a question that will not be posed in other Western newspapers because it is not the narrative laid down for us by our presidents and prime ministers - what about the other guilty men?

No, Tony Blair is not Saddam. We don't gas our enemies. George W Bush is not Saddam. He didn't invade Iran or Kuwait. He only invaded Iraq. But hundreds of thousands of Iraqi civilians are dead - and thousands of Western troops are dead - because Messrs Bush and Blair and the Spanish Prime Minister and the Italian Prime Minister and the Australian Prime Minister went to war in 2003 on a potage of lies and mendacity and, given the weapons we used, with great brutality.

In the aftermath of the international crimes against humanity of 2001 we have tortured, we have murdered, we have brutalised and killed the innocent - we have even added our shame at Abu Ghraib to Saddam's shame at Abu Ghraib - and yet we are supposed to forget these terrible crimes as we applaud the swinging corpse of the dictator we created.

Who encouraged Saddam to invade Iran in 1980, which was the greatest war crime he has committed for it led to the deaths of a million and a half souls? And who sold him the components for the chemical weapons with which he drenched Iran and the Kurds? We did. No wonder the Americans, who controlled Saddam's weird trial, forbad any mention of this, his most obscene atrocity, in the charges against him. Could he not have been handed over to the Iranians for sentencing for this massive war crime? Of course not. Because that would also expose our culpability.

And the mass killings we perpetrated in 2003 with our depleted uranium shells and our "bunker buster" bombs and our phosphorous, the murderous post-invasion sieges of Fallujah and Najaf, the hell-disaster of anarchy we unleashed on the Iraqi population in the aftermath of our "victory" - our "mission accomplished" - who will be found guilty of this? Such expiation as we might expect will come, no doubt, in the self-serving memoirs of Blair and Bush, written in comfortable and wealthy retirement.

George Bush has done the impossible, he has made me think better of Saddam Hussein. Heckuva job, dumbass.

Bravo!

Josh Marshall writes about the best thing he has ever written in regard to the Saddam Show Hanging:

This whole endeavor, from the very start, has been about taking tawdry, cheap acts and dressing them up in a papier-mache grandeur -- phony victory celebrations, ersatz democratization, reconstruction headed up by toadies, con artists and grifters. And this is no different. Hanging Saddam is easy. It's a job, for once, that these folks can actually see through to completion. So this execution, ironically and pathetically, becomes a stand-in for the failures, incompetence and general betrayal of country on every other front that President Bush has brought us.

And thus, like I said yesterday, Saddam becomes Iraqi Jesus.

There is much more to Josh's literary ass kicking, go read it.

Headlines of Alternative not-so-far-from Reality

And the Right-Wing Reacts...[The Corner for Example]

IRSG [Jonah Goldberg]

I've only had a chance to glance at the front cover of the Jesus-Mary-Joseph thingy and I have to say that I'm not surprised. I'm no religious scholar, but I don't think many of the people on this Commission know much about war, other than the brownish and muslimy Mohammad. I mean looking at them they seem like something out the bar scene in Star Wars. Besides if Bush had been able to pick his own Commission, instead of having it forced on him by God, he would have been smart enough to have picked it like Kirk did in that one Star Trek episode where that rock creature allowed him to be assisted in a battle to the death and Kirk picked Lincoln. That's what Bush should have done, insisted on Lincoln being on the Commission.
Posted at 7:01 a.m.

Betrayal [Bill Bennett]

Frankly, I am enraged at the tone of this report, or at least what I have heard of it. George Bush has spent most of the last ten to fifteen years worshipping Jesus, saying he is his favorite philosopher, attending Church, and reading books about how to be more like Jesus. For this Christ-guy to suddenly write something critical of how George Bush has acted, and to suggest things that are in opposition to what the President has done, seems to me to be the ultimate betrayal. And to think that this guy is said to have experienced betrayal first-hand seems rather to make it even worse. Jesus and the rest of these people should be embarassed at criticizing George Bush in public like this. They really should have chosen the alternative of saying nothing at all.
Posted at 6:56 a.m.

Mitt Romney, future President comments on the IRSG [Kathryn Jean Lopez]

(via Press Release) I am appalled at the recommendations of the Jesus-Mary & Joseph Commission. This is not the work of the Jesus I know. The philosophy it espouses, of peace, understanding and fellowship is clearly pre-9/11 thinking and the type of policies that this nation, the greatest and freest nation on Earth, can ill-afford to allow debated or spoken about.
Posted at 6:54 a.m.

SURRENDER [Victor Davis Hanson]

This document is nothing less than what Neville Chamberlain tried to pull over on the Jews during the Masada campaign before Napolean and Tamerlane came and saved the day. It is nothing less than surrendering to peace, when War is a LOT more fun to write about and discussed on Hannity & Colmes, where I will be appearing at 8:00 p.m. eastern this evening.
Post at 6:46 a.m.

"Ah believe in the sanctity of Life"*

"But not as much as ah believe it should be sacrificed for mah vanity."

REUTERS/Larry Downing



*Sanctity not available for the melanin enriched.

Whoa, pace yourself there buddy

You wouldn't want to tax yourself or anything during a self-described "time of war":

President Bush worked nearly three hours at his Texas ranch on Thursday to design a new U.S. policy in Iraq, then emerged to say that he and his advisers need more time to craft the plan he'll announce in the new year.

He worked NEARLY THREE WHOLE HOURS. Maybe even consecutively, not counting the half-hour breaks to drain the Li'l Decider.

Damn, how does he do it? I mean the pace he sets is so rugged. Such hard work.

He's really a goddamned inspiration to us all.

A worthy inquiry

I interrupt this Joe Lieberman bash to refer you to Steve Gilliard's inquiry about the necessity of hanging Saddam now.

But you know, why do it right now? Not only do I recall there supposedly being other trials in which he is an accused but he could be put to other uses.

Wouldn't Saddam be a good mediator for the Donald Trump vs. Rosie O'Donnell feud?

I mean, first of all, he doesn't have much else to do. Second, it would up the level in which people I don't give a shit about get together by a third, hell get O.J. in there, shit throw in any non-animated Simpson, a Rummy, married Cheneys, Lindsay Lohan and we would maximize the imbecility. Then we'll put them on the sun rocket and we all win.

Slurp

America's worst bipartisan continues to give the worst President in American history the cover he needs in today's Washington Post. ("Where was my Lieberman?" - James Buchanan)

via Firedoglake

As Michael Ware said in November 2005 about Lieberman:

I and some other journalists had lunch with Senator Joe Lieberman the other day and we listened to him talking about Iraq. Either Senator Lieberman is so divorced from reality that he's completely lost the plot or he knows he's spinning a line. Because one of my colleagues turned to me in the middle of this lunch and said he's not talking about any country I've ever been to and yet he was talking about Iraq, the very country where we were sitting.

Not to go all Atrios, because he has a trove of these but:

(Paraphrase) "It's Al Qaeda...no it's Al Sadr...it's the Sunni, no the Shiia, oh it's one of those wacky muslims, who knows what 'those people' are up to..."

December 29, 2006:

I saw firsthand evidence in Iraq of the development of a multiethnic, moderate coalition against the extremists of al-Qaeda and against the Mahdi Army, which is sponsored and armed by Iran and has inflamed the sectarian violence. We cannot abandon these brave Iraqi patriots who have stood up and fought the extremists and terrorists.

The addition of more troops must be linked to a comprehensive new military, political and economic strategy that provides security for the population so that training of Iraqi troops and the development of a democratic government can move forward.

In particular we must provide the vital breathing space for moderate Shiites and Sunnis to turn back the radicals in their communities. There are Iraqi political leaders who understand their responsibility to do this. In Anbar province we have made encouraging progress in winning over local Sunni tribal leaders in the fight against al-Qaeda and other terrorists. With more troops to support them, our forces in Anbar and their Sunni allies can achieve a major victory over al-Qaeda.

From someone ACTUALLY on the ground who would know:

The chief of intelligence for the Marine Corps in Iraq recently filed an unusual secret report concluding that the prospects for securing that country's western Anbar province are dim and that there is almost nothing the U.S. military can do to improve the political and social situation there, said several military officers and intelligence officials familiar with its contents.

And of course, there is this:

July 25, 2006:

U.S. Sen. Joe Lieberman believes the U.S. will withdraw a "solid' contingent of its military forces in Iraq by the end of the year because of gains made by the Iraqi armed forces.

"There really has been progress made by the Iraqi military," Lieberman said Tuesday during a meeting with the Connecticut Post's editorial board. "Two-thirds of it could stand on its own or lead the fight with our logistical support."

The three-term U.S. senator said he believes a complete withdrawal is possible by late 2007 or early 2008.

November 29, 2005:

Does America have a good plan for doing this, a strategy for victory in Iraq? Yes we do. And it is important to make it clear to the American people that the plan has not remained stubbornly still but has changed over the years. Mistakes, some of them big, were made after Saddam was removed, and no one who supports the war should hesitate to admit that; but we have learned from those mistakes and, in characteristic American fashion, from what has worked and not worked on the ground. The administration's recent use of the banner "clear, hold and build" accurately describes the strategy as I saw it being implemented last week.

We are now embedding a core of coalition forces in every Iraqi fighting unit, which makes each unit more effective and acts as a multiplier of our forces. Progress in "clearing" and "holding" is being made. The Sixth Infantry Division of the Iraqi Security Forces now controls and polices more than one-third of Baghdad on its own. Coalition and Iraqi forces have together cleared the previously terrorist-controlled cities of Fallujah, Mosul and Tal Afar, and most of the border with Syria. Those areas are now being "held" secure by the Iraqi military themselves. Iraqi and coalition forces are jointly carrying out a mission to clear Ramadi, now the most dangerous city in Al-Anbar province at the west end of the Sunni Triangle.

Nationwide, American military leaders estimate that about one-third of the approximately 100,000 members of the Iraqi military are able to "lead the fight" themselves with logistical support from the U.S., and that that number should double by next year. If that happens, American military forces could begin a drawdown in numbers proportional to the increasing self-sufficiency of the Iraqi forces in 2006. If all goes well, I believe we can have a much smaller American military presence there by the end of 2006 or in 2007, but it is also likely that our presence will need to be significant in Iraq or nearby for years to come.

Bi-partisanship during the Bush years has consistently meant whatever Bush can get the Republicans and Joe Lieberman to support.

Well no more.

Trying to be timely

Been looking all over for it.

Inside Blog-humor

May be funny only to me:

I swear

He said he's "makin' progress" in coming up with his new plan for pretending he has lost a war he should never have started.

This guy should never again be allowed to do many things, but he certainly shouldn't say a few phrases:

"Heckuva Job"
"Something is hard" (Laura would approve, as would Condi [today dressed in her 'commando' ensemble)

and

"Makin' Progress"

(Larry Downing/Reuters)

Not at all Separated from the Real World

David Broder, the man has a fantastic stand up act:

The Justice Department (under Ford) was headed by Edward H. Levi, a former University of Chicago president and perhaps the most nonpolitical attorney general in modern times. Serving under him, in various high staff positions, were such people as Rudolph Giuliani, Robert Bork and Antonin Scalia.

Yeah, Giuliani, Bork & Scalia certainly no partisanship there for the most nonpolitical of Attorney Generals.

Says it all

On a day Hitchens and his flying wet bar traveling in Iraq proclaim the country so fucked up we cannot possibly abandon it, comes more evidence of the disaster:

BAGHDAD, Dec. 27 — The car parked outside was almost certainly a tool of the Sunni insurgency. It was pocked with bullet holes and bore fake license plates. The trunk had cases of unused sniper bullets and a notice to a Shiite family telling them to abandon their home.

“Otherwise, your rotten heads will be cut off,” the note read.

The soldiers who came upon the car in a Sunni neighborhood in Baghdad were part of a joint American and Iraqi patrol, and the Americans were ready to take action. The Iraqi commander, however, taking orders by cellphone from the office of a top Sunni politician, said to back off: the car’s owner was known and protected at a high level.

For Maj. William Voorhies, the American commander of the military training unit at the scene, the moment encapsulated his increasingly frustrating task — trying to build up Iraqi security forces who themselves are being used as proxies in a spreading sectarian war. This time, it was a Sunni politician — Vice Prime Minister Salam al-Zubaie — but the more powerful Shiites interfered even more often.

“I have come to the conclusion that this is no longer America’s war in Iraq, but the Iraqi civil war where America is fighting,” Major Voorhies said.

A two-day reporting trip accompanying Major Voorhies’s unit and combat troops seemed to back his statement, as did other commanding officers expressing similar frustration.

“I have personally witnessed about a half-dozen of these incidents of what I would call political pressure, where a minister or someone from a minister’s office contacts one of these Iraqi commanders,” said Lt. Col. Steven Miska, the deputy commander for the Dagger Brigade Combat Team, First Infantry Division, who oversees combat operations in a wide swath of western Baghdad.

“These politicians are connected with either the militias or Sunni insurgents.”

But hey, another 30,000 American troops propping these guys up will make all the difference in the world won't it?

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Yesterday the conservatives were deifying Jerry Ford in an act that I would guess the former President would have been bemused at. Jerry Ford is hardly the worst President we've ever had, there are arguably close to a couple dozen worse. He had a bad hand when he became President (but really mostly from the prospective of the status of the Presidency), and he managed to not make things worse (the current occupant seems to be taking "bad President" to a whole new level). He also made some choices that are very debatable for their historical worth. What he really was, in a way, is the patron saint of the Washington Insider Club (High Broderism see Atrios) that believes themselves to be "serious" adults and the rest of the country to be shallow, non-comprehending, poorer people.

He was hardly in the pantheon of Great or Near Great. In his own words, he was a "Ford not a Lincoln". An average President presiding over a time of retrenchment and uncertainty, with sizeable majorities of the opposite party in both houses arrayed against him. I certainly understand the necessity to not speak ill of the recently departed, to show some respect, but let's not deify the non-deities of our history.

Having staked themselves to the position that Jerry gave them their heroes Rummy & Cheney and that he supported Bush yesterday, the conservatives, once again have the colorful truth dumped upon their black & white world (or would that be monochrome George Will?):

In a four-hour conversation at his house in Beaver Creek, Colo., Ford "very strongly" disagreed with the current president's justifications for invading Iraq and said he would have pushed alternatives, such as sanctions, much more vigorously. In the tape-recorded interview, Ford was critical not only of Bush but also of Vice President Cheney -- Ford's White House chief of staff -- and then-Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld, who served as Ford's chief of staff and then his Pentagon chief.

"Rumsfeld and Cheney and the president made a big mistake in justifying going into the war in Iraq. They put the emphasis on weapons of mass destruction," Ford said. "And now, I've never publicly said I thought they made a mistake, but I felt very strongly it was an error in how they should justify what they were going to do."

Now, of course, let the whining begin over publishing this interview while they were deifying the corpse. To them it is all about winning the talking point battle, the fact that the truth was embargoed for two and a half years is irrelevant (except to the extent it kept Bush from losing the 2004 election, surely not a big deal right?). The truth is not supposed to come out until no one notices.

Bob Dole's Hair

Tonight on Hardball: Bob Dole. Good lord what is with that hair color? A nice auburn--not a hint of grey anywhere on his head. Someone please tell the dude he doesn't need to pretend he isn't 80 freaking years old.

Not that you need more evidence

But Cliff May is an I-D-I-O-T!!

Throws out astroturf that is more than a year old to talk about how "peachy" things are in Iraq.

There is, naturally, no correction from the man Wolf Blitzer once described as "highly respected" Cliff May.

Get thee a winking Dogma Statue

Perhaps no notion is more disturbing than the fact that many conservatives will celebrate the execution of Saddam as if it washes away all sins associated with the Bush Administration.

An execution exculpating the sinner, where have I heard that story before?

In the News...so to speak

Over at Firedoglake they notice this "real" headline:


In more recent developments, however:


There are, of course, other, uh, alternative headlines as well.

Things you learn on the internets

I normally avoid the O'Reilly Factor like the plague (although truth be told I'm normally reading that time of night and the boob tube goes off). However, it sounds like it was particularly awful last night:

My Gods, Michelle Malkin is hosting the O’Reilly Factor tonight. This is the most awful and horrifying thing I’ve ever seen. Malkin just asked her guest why Hillary Clinton is polling behind Tom Vilsack among Democrats in Iowa. Her guest replied that it might, just might, have something to do with the fact that Vilsack is governor of Iowa. E. Gad. Stupidest woman alive.

Something you'll never get Malkin to discuss, why Bill Clinton is demonstrably more popular than George W. Bush not just abroad, but domestically as well?

Oh, that and how she can ingest a capybara in that unhinged jaw of hers.

Please avoid taking this analogy in any other direction...thank you.


Photo modified from here.

Just Me and my Jesus Horse

Inhofe is going to plotz:

The Bush administration has decided to propose listing the polar bear as threatened under the Endangered Species Act, putting the U.S. government on record as saying that global warming could drive one of the world's most recognizable animals out of existence.

Photo found here.

Last of the Sane Republicans

Takes his "WIN" button and checks out.

Meanwhile, David Ignatius pronounces Ford to be spritely and and in good health.

(I'll ignore his efforts to impeach William Douglas, his support of the "SURGE" policy for his time in Vietnam, and his opposition to many great society programs, because he did support the ERA and reproductive rights...because he was, not insane)

Meanwhile, over at the Cornhole, K-Lo in her hack-like way, uses Ford's death to portray Richard Nixon as a hero over Jerry's still warm body.

UPDATE:

I should add that one of the things I admire about Ford is how it reflected upon him that he married such a strong-willed woman who was also incredibly brave. From admitting she had breast-cancer to conquering addiction, and being strongly pro-abortion rights and pro-women's rights as well, Betty Ford has probably made as much of a positive contribution to this country as any Presidential Spouse not named Eleanor Roosevelt.

Oh, I'm not forgotten

Some bloggers with nice feet get presents from their admirers. But it is nice when they remember us plodding, otherwise ungifted, flat-footed snarks who slog it out on the internets day-after-day in our fallen arches, doomed to a life of ill-shod and shuffling anonymity.

So thanks to the comely Watertiger for this, "Farty Pants Stewie":

"You should continue to sanitize my crevasse and be grateful for the opportunity."

And yes, it makes bubbles.

Remember these words

Poputonian at Hullabaloo had a great post comparing Ulysses Grant to Reagan (very general description from me of the post), but even better were the comments [and not my minor contribution]. Grant, of course, in reality is a far greater American than most that have trod the now 50 states, including Reagan -- no matter what some trifling poll states.

While possessed of his own personal demons and ill fortune that harmed him in life outside of his time as a victorious General, Grant was certainly not a great President, beset with scandal caused by advisers that were crooked. However, he was not as bad as often portrayed by late 19th century historians that looked down upon policies he followed that enforced the rights of freed blacks. This is discussed quite well here.

But one thing is certainly true of Grant, he had a penetrating intelligence and a remarkable lack of ego for someone that rose so high in military glory -- a tradition that we've been lucky with in America, from Washington to Grant to Eisenhower. No where is Grant's intelligence more on display then in the memoirs he wrote late in life, having been defrauded, once again, by people he had trusted. Grant's memoirs are available on line here.

And within those memoirs comes this trenchant and telling statements that work so well even today (as it always has) when it is cast upon the 101st Keyboarders:

For myself, I was bitterly opposed to the measure (War with Mexico), and to this day regard the war, which resulted, as one of the most unjust ever waged by a stronger against a weaker nation. It was an instance of a republic following the bad example of European monarchies, in not considering justice in their desire to acquire additional territory.

There were no possible means of obtaining news from the garrison, and information from outside could not be otherwise than unfavorable. What General Taylor’s feelings were during this suspense I do not know; but for myself, a young second-lieutenant who had never heard a hostile gun before, I felt sorry that I had enlisted. A great many men, when they smell battle afar off, chafe to get into the fray. When they say so themselves they generally fail to convince their hearers that they are as anxious as they would like to make believe, and as they approach danger they become more subdued. This rule is not universal, for I have known a few men who were always aching for a fight when there was no enemy near, who were as good as their word when the battle did come. But the number of such men is small.

The wisdom of those statements about the start of the Mexican-American War, when looking at the Chicken Hawk policy-makers of the Bush Administration today is startling.

Double Bill

Who's going to give me the odds that Saddam's hanging is the opening act with Chimpy's new "old" Iraq Surge Plan being the closing?

Bush then can wave Saddam's pistol around in the air like he's Yosemite Sam.

Shorter ERNEST T. BASS, ESQ

Here's to another fucked up war!

It really is stunning, how so many on the right cannot just live with being wrong in a big enough fashion, no they've got to fucking SUPER-SIZE it!

Well, it's been a nice Holiday

And I should get back to work, but frankly how can I get any work done at all with that big "Motor City Bowl" match-up between the Middle Tennessee State Blue Raiders and the Central Michigan Chippewas in the Battle of the Medians?

Who is putting this bowl together in Detroit, Matt Millen?

Another day of Substantial Comma Investment

To combine Dear Leader & his faux spouse's words on Iraq:

BAGHDAD, Iraq - At least 36 Iraqis died Tuesday in bombings, officials said, including a coordinated strike that killed 25 in western Baghdad. Separately, the deaths of six U.S. soldiers pushed the American toll beyond the number of victims in the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks.

The three coordinated car bombs in western Baghdad injured at least 55 people, a doctor at Yarmouk hospital, where the victims were taken, said on condition of anonymity because of safety concerns. The attacks occurred in a mixed Sunni and Shiite neighborhood.

Meanwhile, Bush, ignoring the screams of the public, refuses to deal with anything that smacks of a personal rebuke and may -- via one of the world's worst polite people William Kristol -- be contemplating a PERMANENT SURGE.

Go read Juan Cole

Just do it.

Crapocalypto

That's a tad strong, but let me tell ya', we were trying to see some movie today and, well sometimes what you came to see sells out and you go to see what you can get seats for. Hard to believe that three weeks out, a film in an ancient tongue has seats available.

Let's put it this way, while it is interestingly filmed and slightly less gory then I expected (oh, it's still gory, just not as gory as you'd expect from Mel Gibson given unlimited power to make what he wants) it is in essence, yet another against the odds chase film, even more full of coincidences than most and two -- count them -- two appearances of a deus ex machina.

And let's not forget that one of the few references you are going to see of film about ancient Maya gets the culture cravenly wrong AND horribly out of time, and I do mean horribly.

This really chafes my rawhide...

You're going to make me put on that holiday dog sweater too aren't you?

How I looooooooooooooathe you human.


Thanks to Watertiger for the cap.

"Oh what a surprise"

"Another Bible, yeah thanks Larry, in my job you so rarely have one of those laying around. Maybe next year, you can get me "The Way" or something."

(Alessandro Bianchi/Reuters)

R.I.P.

Escaped "the Cape" for the last time.

A lot of truth in this statement

By John Aravosis:

[W]hen Clinton was considering lifting the ban on gays in the military, all the military was up in arms, and all the top generals - starting at the top with Colin Powell - practically mutinied. But when Bush decides to continue a criminally negligent war that is a disaster, all because he's too arrogant and stupid to change course, our generals sit back and shut up. I guess the deaths of 3,000 of our soldiers aren't nearly as big a deal to the generals as a couple of gay guys wanting to enlist.

Pathetic.

History repeats itself.

"McMaster stresses two elements in his discussion of America's failure in Vietnam: the hubris of Johnson and his advisors and the weakness of the Joint Chiefs of Staff."

The Year of "Little Debbie"

Deborah Howell reflects on yet another year for Thurston and she and the Island of Misfit Fantasists (i.e. the WaPo's Ombudsperson):

For example, less reporters and less reporting is not a tragedy; no it's an "opporturnity":

To look at the glass half empty, The Post will have fewer people reporting on what you need to know, and those who are doing it will have to work harder in three platforms -- print, the Web and radio -- with less space for news.

But to look at the glass half full, the contraction could make The Post crisper, more compact and more readable. A leading reason for canceling subscriptions is "no time to read." Reporters tend to want to write everything they know; I did it myself. Readers want to know only so much. The perfect length is a moving target. From the front page to the last page, The Post needs to be edited to respect readers' time.

i.e.

IGNORANCE CAN BE BLISS!

My favorite Holiday Pageant

powered by ODEO

From David Sedaris, a member of the funniest family in America (well funniest that isn't pathologically dangerous and invading nations to make up for their shortcomings)

Now that's comedy

First seen at Majikthise

Where I draw the line

Newt Gingrich playing Santa at the Mall.

(AP Photo/LM Otero)

Dear Peggy

I know that Zoloft/Paxil/Xanax cocktail has mixed with the Appletini allowing you to produce this tripe.

However, you forgot the conclusion -- Santa flew over the grounds of the Naval Observatory where the Vice-President lives and well...

Never Remember

"If we quit Vietnam, tomorrow we'll be fighting in Hawaii, and next week we'll have to fight in San Francisco."
-Lyndon Johnson



"We fight them over there so we don't have to fight them over here."
-George W. Bush

Shred

The last Colbert of the year was a classic.

And here's a nice pic of my personal pick for Entertainer of the Year.

Time Warner photo

And here's a portion of the performance that gives him that honor.

From the caves of Pakistan

To 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue; from the butchers of Baghdad; to the warlords of Somalia and to war criminals and their enablers everywhere...


What, as ever, is the real "War" on Christmas?

The "Nigerian E-Mailers" of Diplomacy

Blessings be upon you; I am Condoleeza, the other wife of the President of the United States of America, his excellency, George Walter Bush. I must confess my agitation is real, and my words are my bond in this proposal. My husband took military action against the nation of Iraq with the idea, amongst others of influencing of price of sales/purchasing of raw materials and to really impress the ladies with his tough guy stance...in order to successfully complete this transaction we will require a few simple things such as your social security number, your bank account number, one of your sons or daughters, and your left hemisphere.

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice told The Associated Press on Thursday that Iraq is "worth the investment" in American lives and dollars and said the U.S. can still win a conflict that has been more difficult than she expected

Rich Lowry, You're An Idiot

Yesterday on NPR Rich Lowry was spewing his typical nonsense about his view of the war in Iraq and the President's predicament in how deal with the catastrophe he has created. Lowry's theory regarding how Bush now addresses his pledge to do what the commanders on the ground tell him: well he should have never said it. He is the commander-in-chief and needs to start acting like one, no matter what the commanders on the ground tell him. The decider has a mission and he knows it better than any old 4 star general.

Lowry and others like him apparently have daddy issues because as long as the idol they worship stands for something and doesn't back down, despite what experts tell him, they feel all safe and snuggly. What an asshole.

A Christmas Holiday Miracle

You can see the "Virgin Mary" in Chimpy's hair!
(Kevin Lamarque/Reuters)

Alert Cal Thomas!





Of course, it could be Atrios...

But that's not all!


You can see an entire 'Holiday Pageant' on K-Lo's backside.

Modified from REUTERS/Toby Melville

What the internets is like without Atrios to guide us...

UPDATE:

There is a grey turtleneck sighting here.

Creating the fiction

Josh Marshall has this bit of news:

Here at TPM we spent a good part of the day trying to find out where the congressional leadership in both parties and in both houses stand on President Bush's to increase the number of troops in Iraq by 30,000 to 50,000. The basic story was pretty clear: The Democrats are united against it; and the Republicans won't say one way or another.

As predicted here in the past, Bush is going to try to blame the Democrats for losing his already horribly lost war of vanity. This is the fiction he and all the others, so dreadfully wrong, will cling to. "We'd have WON if you would have just fed another 50,000 troops into the gaping maw of death that is Iraq".

Just like the Vietnam fiction.

Oh it all makes sense now...

Huzzah!

The U.S. military on Wednesday said American-led coalition forces captured a senior al Qaeda in Iraq leader last week in the northern city of Mosul.

Five others described as "suspected terrorists" were arrested in Thursday's operation.

The leader wasn't identified, but the U.S. military said he is implicated in insurgent activities in Mosul and the Karkh region of Baghdad last year when he was a "military emir."

Well, I guess it's all worth it now! Who is this unidentified leader?

Perhaps Michelle Malkin can explode in a fit of holiday cheer (because she's soooooooooo demonstrably a happy, well-adjusted person) over the capture of 'Jamil Hussein' the elusive Robert Denby* of the right-wing regressosphere.

Or maybe, they have captured Atrios? Or maybe Atrios is Jamil Hussein?


*Requires some knowledge of MST3k.

The Bush plan for Expanding the Military

Y'know

I am suddenly having second thoughts about "upgrading" to the new blogger. I mean, it abducted Atrios and is demanding the return of several blogs to the "Google 'Blogspot' Family" before it will be allowed to return.

But Google did assure me, "We're Winning".

Digby

I've been sick for the better part of a week and also trying to work but I'll get back at it again. Keep the smart comments to yourself.

Digby is doing a little fundraising and I just want to make a little plug. Doing this work is quite a commitment. Nobody does the bloggy blog thing better than Digby. So go on over.

Pope Ratzi

The early years...

Atta J. Turk predicts so you don't have to punish yourself

The Chimperor Disgustus will hold yet another non-responsive News Conference at 10:00 a.m. eastern. Why watch at all? Here is the condensed transcript:

"The 'murican people gotta understand we will prevail against these terrorist killers and that we are fighting them over there so we don't have to fight them over here like what happened on 9/11 which is a lesson I'll never forget, even though the lesson is hard, and by the way we will prevail. I'm the Commander-in-Decider-in-American People Protector-in-Chief.

Nice dress Martha; you too Gregory. heh heh heh"

picture from BBC via AP

UPDATE:

It's over, and my parody wasn't parody enough to do it justice.

Early on he "encouraged" all of us to "go shopping". And that was the high point.

It's like he's forcing us to take that mushroom trip back to 2001/2002 with him.

Query

“Failure in Iraq would be a calamity that would haunt our nation, impair our credibility and endanger Americans for decades to come.”

- Robert Gates 12/18/2006

At this completely irrelevant blog in the generally irrelevant blogworld, I'm just wondering if someone in, say the press, can ask:

What is "failing" and what about not failing it is so important that not having it is a "disaster"?

I'm sitting here trying to remember when it has actually worked out for the country that has an undefinable "victory" and needs to preserve their "honor".

Has it ever occurred that when the reason for staying with the war came down to fighting for national "honor" that it has NOT actually been about saving face for those who launched the fucking war and at the expense of those who are damned to carry out their bad policies?

From now on the Decider is also known as "Tojo" Bush.

Att'n Al Qaeda

You can call off the War on Terror in South Central Virginia because in that location, Representative Virgil Goode has conceded on behalf of his people.

After all, that area is used to surrendering, although normally only when they are clearly losing. But not so, the modern South Central Virginia, for there, Representative Goode has grown tired of the chafing brought on through an unremitting series of bladder-based evening insurgencies. Therefore, he has surrendered to avoid responsibility for needless bloodshed incontinence.




Picture modified from here.

Andrew Sullivan: the Larry King of Intellectuals

Only in the cocoon of 43rd Street could such a writer, who gets everything wrong, contradicts himself from day to day, and writes in prose worthy of Anne Lamott could still get front-page play day after day.

THE COMING SPIN: You can see it now. Chaos. Looting. Disorder. Losing the peace. It's not that there won't be some truth to these stories; and real cause for concern. The pent-up fury, frustration and sheer anger of three decades is a powerful thing, probably impossible to stop immediately without too much force. And the last thing we want is fire-power directed toward the celebrating masses. The trouble is that they could become the narrative of the story, especially among the usual media suspects, and erode the impact and power of April 9. By Sunday, or sooner, you-know-who will probably have a front-page "news analysis" that will describe the joy of liberation being transformed into the nightmare of a Hobbesian quicksand of ever-looming cliches. Speaking of whom ...(April 10, 2003)

He fell in love with whatever intellectual farts came forth from the mouth of Dear Leader and mocked his critics as just short of traitors*. Only to sort-of repent.

Now comes John McCain and Sully the Silly proclaims,

"Oh, this time the love is for real baby!"

*Just look at virtually any post from April 2003

If you do, you'll see that Sully is the ultimate recipient of any one of his never ending series of "Awards". It's not just that he sticks his neck out and prognosticates, you can't post a lot on a blog and NOT do that -- no, it is just the incredible level of posing and finger-wagging to be found in that one month is just impressive in its sheer level of inaccuracy and vituperation.

April 4, 2003

SPIN AND SQUIRM: Mickey - "Don't Rush Me, Rush Rummy" - Kaus is backing his friend (and mine) Bob Wright for the following assertion (made only two days ago!) that

as the war drags on, any stifled sympathy for the American invasion will tend to evaporate. As more civilians die and more Iraqis see their "resistance" hailed across the Arab world as a watershed in the struggle against Western imperialism, the traditionally despised Saddam could gain appreciable support among his people. So, the Pentagon's failure to send enough troops to take Baghdad fairly quickly could complicate the postwar occupation, to say nothing of the war itself.

It's a valiant effort, even as Bob's piece seems to be moving inexorably toward a von Hoffman award (not yet, but it's not looking good for the earthling U.N.-lover). Here's a pitch-perfect rear-guard "spin and squirm" what-did-the-Romans-ever-do-for-us?" pirouette from Mickey:

It's true that the military picture has seemingly improved since Wright's piece was posted; his how-can-we-trust-the-hawks-who-muffed-the-war-
to-remake-the-Middle-East argument has less force than it did even 24 hours ago. But the hawks were surprised by initial resistance in the South (even if it was mainly resistance obtained at gunpoint), and Rumsfeld still did send too few troops, it seems -- even if the war overall is going well so far. So there's still room for doubting the hawks grander rosy scenarios.

The phrase "it seems -- even if the war overall is going well so far" is the qualification only a master blogger could pull off. So's the final sentence. If there's room for doubting the hawks' "grander" rosy scenarios, is there no room for doubting the less grand ones, like, er, that Rummy hasn't obviously screwed up so far? In fact, to the naked eye, he's kicking butt. Surely the best neoliberal criterion should still be Kenneth Pollack's (partly because it wasn't made with any of the current debate in mind):

Probably the most likely scenario would be about one third of Iraq's armed forces fighting hard, limited use of tactical WMD, and some extensive combat in a few cities. In this most likely case, the campaign would probably last four to eight weeks and result in roughly 500 to 1,000 American combat deaths.

To argue that the war has taken much longer than necessary seems to me at this point to be pushing credulity. At the current rate of progress, it looks as if we're going to come in at the lower end of Pollack's estimate. But I guess the anti-neo-cons have got to grasp at something. If things continue at this pace, it's going to be a cluster of von Hoffman awards.

April 7, 2003:

BITTER, PARTY OF ONE: One of the things that people like me have long under-estimated is the legacy of Vietnam among the boomer generation. I wasn't even in this country; and others in my under-40 generation in America also don't get it. But for men like Howell Raines or Johnny Apple or others who command the heights of academia, Vietnam is still the prism through which they see everything. I'm not saying this isn't understandable; and a sense of history is vital to understanding a chaotic war like the one we have just witnessed. But the bitterness can also cloud judgement. Just look at Allan Gurganus' essay in yesterday's New York Times Magazine. The man is still in shock. The visceral hostility he feels to the U.S. government, the Pentagon, or, indeed, any American authority figure stems in part from the experience of that war. I don't think this is curable. In some ways, it's pointless to rail against it. It's just part of the psyche of a generation with enormous power - now, in part, the power to denigrate and undermine any real American military victory. Not all of this generation is hopeless, of course. Some are doing amazing work in this war even now. But for others, it will never recede. It's their point of reference, their precious. And they will nurture it even more passionately if the world now proves them wrong.

And there's more on that day:

VON HOFFMAN AWARD NOMINEE: "The main flaws are now plain. First, the strategy left very long supply lines exposed and vulnerable. Troops require water and tanks require gasoline. Without these, no force 250 miles from base will be useful for long. Second, Iraqi soldiers embedded in civilian populations - both those along supply lines and in Baghdad - can only be destroyed alongside those populations. Thus the Iraqis could force the transformation of the second strategy into the first. And, being military realists, they have done so. The dilemma is now acute. Retreat is unthinkable. George W. Bush's neoconservatives (standing safely in the back) will figuratively execute any who quail. The level of violence will therefore be raised. Meanwhile, the prime stocks of precision munitions have been drawn down, and speculation about the future use of cluster bombs and napalm and other vile weapons is being heard. And so the political battle - the battle for hearts and minds - will be lost. If history is a guide, you cannot subdue a large and hostile city except by destroying it completely. Short of massacre, we will not inherit a pacified Iraq. For this reason, the project of reconstruction is impossible. No one should imagine that the civilians sent in to do this work can be made secure. To support "the groundwork" for this effort is to support a holocaust, quite soon, against Iraqi civilians and also against the troops on both sides. That is what victory means. You can watch the beginnings (if you have satellite television) even now, as injured children fill up the hospitals of Baghdad. The moral strategy would be to avoid the holocaust. To achieve that from the present disastrous position, the United States would have to accept a cease-fire, which would lead to the withdrawal of coalition forces under safe conduct. There would be no military dishonor in such a step. It would, however, entail the humiliation of the entire Bush administration, indeed its well-deserved political collapse. Too bad the moral strategy is not a practical one." - James Galbraith, the American Prospect. How can a single person get so much so wrong?

And finally, for this already too long of a post (but it is after all pointing out Sullivan's errors, it can't be short) some of these now laughable mockeries on April 10, 2003:

V-H AWARD III: "The United States is going to leave Iraq with its tail between its legs, defeated. It is a war we cannot win. "We do not have the military means to take over Baghdad and for this reason I believe the defeat of the United States in this war is inevitable. "Every time we confront Iraqi troops we may win some tactical battles, as we did for ten years in Vietnam, but we will not be able to win this war, which in my opinion is already lost." - Scott Ritter, South African TV...

...V-H AWARD IV: "Iraqis, very clearly, do not want to be 'liberated,' even many who had long opposed Saddam's brutal regime. To the contrary, the US-British invasion appears to have ignited genuine national resistance among 17 million Arab Iraqis, just as the 1941 German invasion of the USSR rallied Russians and Ukrainians behind Stalin's hated regime. ... The nasty, bloody urban warfare the Americans and Brits sought to avoid at all costs is now confronting them." - Eric Margolis, ForeignCorrespondent.com....

...V-H AWARD VI: "Meanwhile, a German government report due to appear in a newspaper on Monday says that up to two million people could die in a war on Iraq. The report released by the Environment Ministry says many civilians would be unable to get food or clean drinking water. The paper quotes the report as saying that a quarter of the population in southern Iraq already has no access to drinking water." - Deutsche Welle...

...V-H AWARD VIII: "Have you ever seen such amazing arrogance wedded to such awesome incompetence?" - Molly Ivins, March 16, 2003. No, Molly, I haven't. The liberal media have had a terrible, terrible war.

He really should have been ridden through the town square on a donkey, facing backwards and wearing a pointy hat proclaiming "JACKASS".

The Horror, the Horror

Jar Jar makes so much sense now:


I had hoped that this event had disappeared into the dustbin of history...but no.

Curly goes to Baghdad

Shiia, Sunni and Kurds better scurry
When to Green Zone I fly in a hurry
And claim that Iraq is the bottom and we're the top

DOD photo

"Fra-jill-lay" that's french

We won a "major reward" on this bloggy blog.

It's... it's... it's indescribably beautiful! It reminds me of the Fourth of July!

Now, if you'll excuse me I'm going downtown for the hookers & blow that all award winners are entitled to.

Dear NY Times,

If you are going to talk down to us in your "society" pages about Hugh Laurie and discuss his "comedy" performer past, it might help if you were, oh I don't know, actually smarter than us.

Yes, Hugh Laurie has a sketch show at one point with Stephen Fry, but both formerly worked in a rather popular show, that most of us, but apparently not your reporter, had heard of.

"Ah'll listen to the Generals"

Except he won't:

The Bush administration is split over the idea of a surge in troops to Iraq, with White House officials aggressively promoting the concept over the unanimous disagreement of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, according to U.S. officials familiar with the intense debate.

Sending 15,000 to 30,000 more troops for a mission of possibly six to eight months is one of the central proposals on the table of the White House policy review to reverse the steady deterioration in Iraq. The option is being discussed as an element in a range of bigger packages, the officials said.

But the Joint Chiefs think the White House, after a month of talks, still does not have a defined mission and is latching on to the surge idea in part because of limited alternatives, despite warnings about the potential disadvantages for the military, said the officials, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because the White House review is not public.

The chiefs have taken a firm stand, the sources say, because they believe the strategy review will be the most important decision on Iraq to be made since the March 2003 invasion.

So, they'll be ignored, or cajoled. This is just like the Winter & Spring of 2003 when the disaster was shoved down our throats ... and while virtually everyone is against escalation (and now the war) the brave, brave McCain/Lieberman coalition is determined to kill even more people for their twisted version of honor.

Josh Bolton's Stocking Stuffer

Modified from REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque

Booming Economy Part II

More reasons for Larry Kudlow to wave that crackpipe in celebration:

Attacks in Iraq on U.S.-led forces, local security personnel and civilians have surged 22 percent to record levels, the Pentagon said in its latest quarterly report on Iraq published on Monday.

The report also noted a rise in civilian casualties and said this was directly linked to the rise of sectarian death squads, which were helped by elements of Iraqi forces.

As Atrios said:

six months after Operation Forward Together and then Together Forward and then Together Forward II: Electric Boogaloo was supposed to be our one last shot at this very critical juncture blahblahblah...

Operation Together Forward btw included an influx of more than 20,000 troops and it was supposed to solve all of Iraq's problems...or at least make it look like it was doing so. It, of course, did nothing of the kind -- in fact, just the opposite.

Hey Congrats

To regular reader "Blue Gal" for winning a Weblog Award.

An Award, I may add, that she didn't present to herself. Unlike certain bloggers who will not be named -- because I'd hate to call myself out or anything.

Unfortunate and Vile Headlines

Causing unfortunate Larry Kudlow emissions.

Blood and Money
In what might be called the mother of all surprises, Iraq's economy is growing strong, even booming in places.

Ha ha, people dying is teh funny! Nice job there John Meachem -- any more religious tripe you want to write about?

And how is this strong Iraqi economy generated? Why by all that foreign money getting dumped into the economy for things like "cell-phones" the better to allow communications amoung insurgents and blow up IED's with.

And the disgusting snide comments continue throughout the article...

Civil war or not, Iraq has an economy, and—mother of all surprises—it's doing remarkably well. Real estate is booming...

Yes, Iraq's problems are daunting, to say the least. Unemployment runs between 30 and 50 percent. Many former state industries have all but ceased to function. As for all that money flowing in, much of it has gone to things that do little to advance the country's future. Security, for instance, gobbles up as much as a third of most companies' operating budgets, whereas what Iraq really needs are hospitals, highways and power-generating plants....

...Salaries have gone up more than 100 percent since the fall of Saddam, and income-tax cuts (from 45 percent to just 15 percent) have put more cash in Iraqi pockets. "The U.S. wanted to create the conditions in which small-scale private enterprise could blossom," says Jan Randolph, head of sovereign risk at Global Insight. "In a sense, they've succeeded."

I don't know whether to vomit from anger or disgust. I guess the lives of 600,000 plus, and 1.6 million fleeing Iraqis make the half-a trillion dollar investment and 25,000 American casualties ALL THE FUCK WORTHWHILE NOW!!

Get ready for more of this

Thank god we can have a war continue because of the vanity of one truly stupid man and his enablers:

HILO, Hawai'i — A Big Island man who was on his fourth tour in Iraq died Friday of injuries he suffered two weeks ago when a roadside bomb exploded near an armored Stryker vehicle he was riding in as part of a convoy, a family member said.

Henry Kahalewai, 44, was a senior enlisted man who planned to retire next year after 20 years in the Army to build a home on land he owned in Upper Puna, said Joseph Aguiar, Kahalewai's cousin.

Kahalewai had a grown son who lives in Honolulu, and two younger daughters who lived with him and his wife in Tacoma, Wash., Aguiar said.

"He's our hero. Four tours of Iraq is enough for one person," Aguiar said.

There's going to be a LOT more people going on their 4th tour thanks to Bush, McCain, Lieberman et al.

And a lot more finding that they lost the ultimate lottery.

"SUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRGE"

It's no medal of freedom, but for now it will have to do.

(AFP/Getty Images/File/Chip Somodevilla)

Y'know it's hard to believe this level of sophistication doesn't even get you nominated for a Weblog Award!

"Mr. President"

We've carefully gamed out all manner of options in 'World of Warcraft' and we have to tell you that the only way to "win" in Iraq is to create 55,000 more fighters...oh and build some siege engines.

Sincerely,

Fred Kagan & Venereal Davis Hanson

I remember when I was in college

And managed to write that "killer" Dungeons & Dragons campaign. It was truly teh awesome -- especially when we had that perfect balance of Skittles and hits from an IBD ('improvised bong device'). I'd sit there behind my Dungeon Master's shield and roll those d-20s and I'd almost forget the fact that I was doing this because I couldn't get laid.

Little did I know that this formula was actually a way to literary and cinema riches.

I blame you personally Donna Lou Peterson* for making me stray from this path.


*Name may be changed to protect the slightly less innocent.

An "American Citizen"

The troglodytes on the right will have an interesting time justifying this one. Another American Citizen tortured and deprived of his constitutional rights...and he's not even brown!

Shorter Fred Hiatt

You know I really should dump the neocons, but the head from Bill Kristol is really out of this world!

I'm George Will Dammit!!!!!!

You bloggers, you are nothing but narcissistic wannabees.

I, George "Fucking" Will, am the real thing baby! I write columns for the Washington Post and wear a bow-tie every Sunday, now that's narcissism from a pro!

Remember

If you buy this:

It will make you laugh; it will make you cry; but most of all -- at the end of the day, you may just learn something about yourself.


The 2007 Republican National Character Counts Calendar.

A joint Watertiger, Atta J. Turk production.

You can click the sidebar to the right to order, or the stars and stripes picture below.

Sacrifice

Is for other people:

This year, we invited readers on our Web site to ask you questions. Here's one: Nina Frazier of New Braunfels, Texas, asks: If you believe in the war, why didn't you encourage your own daughters to fight for your country? Or did you?

THE PRESIDENT: I believe Americans can contribute to the security and well-being of our country in a variety of ways. That's why we have a volunteer army. What we say to young people is that if you want to serve your country you can do so in the military, or you can do so by teaching children in inner-city Washington, D.C., like one of our daughters did. Or you can help form education programs in New York City, like our (other) daughter. There are all kinds of ways to serve.

Or you can serve by going backdoor with the 'K-Fed' of Argentina. That's what is so patriotic about the Bush family! They know the method of service for which they are best qualified. So send that Astroglide to the American Embassy in Buenos Aires.

Backdoor Draft for Jenna
c/o The American Embassy Argentina
Av. Colombia 4300
(C1425GMN) Buenos Aires - Argentina

Who sponsored this, Cheetos?

(AP Photo/Time, Inc., Andrew Eccles)

Someone get Michael Medved his smelling salts

Penguins offer evidence of global warming

The first Adelie penguin chicks of the season -- black fluffballs small enough to hold in the hand -- started hatching this month, and the simple fact that there are more of them in the south and fewer of them further north is a sign of global warming, scientists say.

In Michael Cricton's next book...

...Penguin child rapists.

Hearts & Minds

Bush White House, it is teh suck:

The Pentagon called them "among the most dangerous, best-trained, vicious killers on the face of the Earth," sweeping them up after Sept. 11 and hauling them in chains to a U.S. military prison in southeastern Cuba.

Since then, hundreds of the men have been transferred from Guantanamo Bay to other countries, many of them for "continued detention."

And then set free.

That would be the Pentagon run by "the Finest Secretary of Defense This Nation Has Ever Had’ right Dick?

*Once the detainees arrived in other countries, 205 of the 245 were either freed without being charged or were cleared of charges related to their detention at Guantanamo. Forty either stand charged with crimes or continue to be detained.

*Only a tiny fraction of transferred detainees have been put on trial. The AP identified 14 trials, in which eight men were acquitted and six are awaiting verdicts. Two of the cases involving acquittals — one in Kuwait, one in Spain — initially resulted in convictions that were overturned on appeal.

*The Afghan government has freed every one of the more than 83 Afghans sent home. Lawmaker Sibghatullah Mujaddedi, the head of Afghanistan's reconciliation commission, said many were innocent and wound up at Guantanamo because of tribal or personal rivalries.

*At least 67 of 70 repatriated Pakistanis are free after spending a year in Adiala Jail. A senior Pakistani Interior Ministry official said investigators determined that most had been "sold" for bounties to U.S. forces by Afghan warlords who invented links between the men and al-Qaida. "We consider them innocent," said the official, who declined to be named because of the sensitivity of the issue.

*All 29 detainees who were repatriated to Britain, Spain, Germany, Russia, Australia, Turkey, Denmark, Bahrain and the Maldives were freed, some within hours after being sent home for "continued detention."

But no hard feelings right?

"I can't wash the three long years of pain, trouble and humiliation from my memory," said Badarzaman Badar, an Afghan who was freed in Pakistan. "It is like a cancer in my mind that makes me disturbed every time I think of those terrible days."

25,000 American casualties; more than 600,000 dead civilians; half a trillion dollars; all for losing a war we started

"DAYUM, that's funny!"


(AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite)

Ah yes, now I see the true brilliance of the plan

Boo-yah!

Cuban President Fidel Castro is very ill and close to death, Director of National Intelligence John D. Negroponte said yesterday.

"Everything we see indicates it will not be much longer . . . months, not years," Negroponte told a meeting of Washington Post editors and reporters.

So our brilliant plan of bringing down Castro by cutting him off in the mid-60s has worked out about as well as one could hope. It only took 40 fucking years plus before he came near the end of his natural life! Which, of course, hasn't happened yet.

Good job' 'murica, good fucking job! That REALLY worked! And it took a whole series of Ph.Ds from both parties to enact this gem?

By the way "months, not years" isn't that pretty much an old Rummy quote about Iraq?

But that's nothing compared to the Bush/McCain Iraq plan!

The Liar Sleeps Tonight

This may assist your enjoyment...or not.


Cheeeee-neyyyyeeee-eee-boom-eeeeee-booom-oh-yay!

A-talkin-point A-talkin-point A-talkin-point A-talkin-point
A-talkin-point A-talkin-point A-talkin-point A-talkin-point
A-talkin-point A-talkin-point A-talkin-point A-talkin-point
A-talkin-point A-talkin-point A-talkin-point A-talkin-point


In the White House, the bubbled White House
Decider sleeps alright
In the White House, the clueless White House
Decider sleeps alright.

I-Raq is great Painting the Schools I-Raq is great Painting the Schools
I-Raq is great Painting the Schools I-Raq is great Painting the Schools
I-Raq is great Painting the Schools I-Raq is great Painting the Schools
I-Raq is great Painting the Schools I-Raq is great Painting the Schools

Shiia village and Sunni village
No one sleeps tonight.
Kill the Shiia, blow up the Sunni
But Decider sleeps alright.

So wank away so wank away so wank away so wank away
So wank away so wank away so wank away so wank away
So wank away so wank away so wank away so wank away
So wank away so wank away so wank away so wank away

Hush my Johnny, don't worry Johnny
Your policy I will bite
I'll bomb the Shiia, I'll bomb the Sunni
And I'll sleep again tonight

Words I really didn't need to read

OH MY GAWD, REAGAN'S BACK...and he's not wearing pants!

We are getting very excited.

And finally, a kicker, the usual Peggy Noonan misapplication of false history:

First the Clinton era left more than half the country appalled--deeply appalled, and ashamed--by its series of political, financial and personal scandals.

Yeah, that must be why if they were to run against each other, Bubba would kick George Bush Jr.'s ass.

Those who are never wrong Part Two

Rich Lowry (he may appear again) April 8, 2003:

Stop the lynching party! Donald Rumsfeld was briefly being pilloried as another Robert McNamara, the disgraced Vietnam-era secretary of defense who interfered with the military. With American tanks now in Baghdad, Rumsfeld criticism feels -- as the kids say -- like, so four days ago.

November 6, 2006:

...if there's one consistent lesson from our experience in Iraq, it is to avoid half-measures -- go to war with more troops, more deadly force and more vigor rather than less. Muddling through and hoping to succeed with just barely enough resources, is a fool's policy.

Summing it up

Juan Cole asks, what election?

The "surge" tactic is being generated by Rupert Murdoch's Weekly Standard and by Frederick W. Kagan and Bill Kristol, i.e. by the same plutocratic American Enterprise Institute (Likudnik Central) that brought you the Iraq War with champagne toasts in the first place.

Kagan has a recent book on Napoleon. Napoleon's most prominent characteristic was his willingness to waste his troops' lives lightly. On his return from Palestine in 1799, he even had some poisoned because they were ill with plague and he did not want to risk transporting them back to his HQ in Cairo. He took 54,000 men to Egypt in 1798; about half came back. His Russia campaign saw a similar dynamic, on a much larger scale.

Bush is the Napoleon of our age, trampling on whole peoples, a Jacobin Emperor mouthing the slogans of liberty and popular sovereignty while crushing and looting those he "liberated." And Kagan and Kristol (playing Talleyrand 1798) and Emperor Bush are readying a further slaughter of our US troops, 24,000 of whom have been killed or wounded, and of innocent Iraqis, 600,000 of whom have been killed by criminal and political violence since spring of 2003.

And you thought a mere election would make a difference. No one had to elect the American Enterprise Institute. No one needs to crown the emperor, he can do it himself. Welcome to Year 1 of the Empire.

That about sums it up. Oh those brilliant war enablers.

Query

By now, are the Jib-Jab people:

A. The Carrot-Tops of the Internet?

B. The Dane Cooks of the Internet?

C. The Dennis Millers of the Internet?

D. All of the Above?

E. None of the above describe accurately enough how tiresome they are?

Discuss.

Those who are never wrong Part One

Why listen to those who said stuff like this on March 24, 2003:

Bath Resistance [Stanley Kurtz]
The continuing resistance in Um Qasr and Basra is being led by Baath party zealots. We still don’t know for sure whether large elements of the Iraqi public will welcome us a liberators, but the presence of armed Baath party gangs in Un Qasr and Basra surely has a lot to do with why it hasn’t happened so far. That confirms the need to de-Baathify Iraq after the war. The current administration plan is to replace a few key administrators at the top, but otherwise rely on Baath party bureaucrats in a post-war Iraq. Those bureaucrats may not be quite as vicious as the Baathists now fighting in Um Qasr and Basra, but they will have the power to sabotage the American presence in Iraq just as powerfully as their gun-toting comrades are doing now.
Posted at 10:53 AM

For the Love of McCain

It appears that Washington's cool kids have a love of the same things as McCain:

They love them some more of Chimpy's failed war:

President Bush and Vice President Cheney met with the members of the Joint Chiefs of Staff yesterday at the Pentagon for more than an hour, and the president engaged his top military advisers on different options. The chiefs made no dramatic proposals but, at a time of intensifying national debate about how to solve the Iraq crisis, offered a pragmatic assessment of what can and cannot be done by the military, the sources said.

The chiefs do not favor adding significant numbers of troops to Iraq, said sources familiar with their thinking, but see strengthening the Iraqi army as pivotal to achieving some degree of stability. They also are pressing for a much greater U.S. effort on economic reconstruction and political reconciliation.

Of course, leading that call is Johnny stuffed cheeks, who if nothing else learned from Vietnam that adding troops slowly and in insignificant numbers always works.

Right?

Of course, the fact that both the public and the "generals on the ground" they love to quote so much disagree, matters not when the war they love so much can be continued on for a little while longer. After all it's not like they are risking anything.

McCain and the pundits also share one other thing (aside from a love of reacharounds) and that is their distaste for those fuckin' bloggers -- out there spouting off their opinions like they have a legal right to do so. The noive!

John McCain has made clear that he doesn’t like the blogosphere.

Now he has introduced legislation that would treat blogs like Internet service providers and hold them responsible for all activity in the comments sections and user profiles.

Sweet.

Shorter David Brooks

I pick the year's best essays the same way Bush picks out experts on Iraq Policy.

Somebody woke Assholestiltskin Up

Apparently, invading Iraq was the product of sleep apnea:

President Bush, just now at the Pentagon (emphasis added):

"I thank these men who wear our uniform for a very candid and fruitful discussion about how to secure this country and how to win a war that we now find ourselves in."

Because clearly he had absolutely nothing to do with it until now.

"Al-Hashemi?"

"That's like raw fish wrapped in the mari-ja-wana right? heh heh heh"
REUTERS/Jim Young


(joked used yesterday, but what the hey, still works)

Um, Yeah...

AP Photo/Hasan Sarbakhshian

Self-loathing, how's that working out for you?

Yes, congrats Iran, you've elected a bigger idiot than we did. It's a close call, but you win.

You know, and IF I may use a particularly inappropriate interjection at this time...JESUS CHRIST! Having this wankfest covered in any particular depth is depressing enough, but focusing in on a handful of the dumbest Jewish people on earth at a Holocaust deniers conference is worse than focusing in on the guy wearing the diaper at the gay pride parade. Look they're wearing fucking badges! Why not just stitch on a fucking Star of David and tattoo a number on your wrist?

But unsolicited emails are a-okay

To: Atta J. Turk

Greetings. My name is Mbago Shoenecki and my sixth cousin, once removed, was President of the Republic of Nigeria sometime in the 17th Century, look it up, it's in Wikipedia...really. I am writing to you to obtain your name, social security number, and various credit card numbers (expiration dates too please) because of the possibility you are an incredible imbecile. That may seem presumptuous of me, but then again, your nation did elect George W. Bush so the odds cannot be all that bad.

But even so, not fat chicks or gays.