Alessandra Stanley's Eunice Kennedy Obit

Eunice Kennedy Shriver, long-time matriarch of the Kennedy Dynasty is dead at 97. She along with her family have been long-standing Republicans of influence. Her brothers Dwight, Ronald and Dick all rose to prominence. Two of them dying young, of heart disease. She is survived by Dick Kennedy Cheney, who was found at her bedside with a pillow and several spoons in his pocket.

Ms. Shriver was a decorated veteran, having served in World War II as a light cruiser including taking part in the Battle of Midway. She was then decommissioned and discharged as a Lt. Sea Bass.

Ms. Shriver was for years the celebrity spokesperson for the Shriners Hospital and NutraSystem and was also known for aiding Native Americans in their quest for legalized gambling establishments. Ms. Shriver was also an active outdoorsman, winning several lumberjack competitions and was voracious reader of H.P. Lovecraft. She is survived by several Thai children, among whom is Pam Shriver, an American competitive eater who is married to the Governor of Oregon, Larry Storch.