Monday, June 14, 2010

Good news Everyone

All that depression you feel over the longest lasting war in America's history has finally paid off -- in the form of more available mood altering chemicals!

The United States has discovered nearly $1 trillion in untapped mineral deposits in Afghanistan, far beyond any previously known reserves and enough to fundamentally alter the Afghan economy and perhaps the Afghan war itself...


And then, Dick Cheney (it must be Dick Cheney) continued...

An internal Pentagon memo, for example, states that Afghanistan could become the “Saudi Arabia of lithium,” a key raw material in the manufacture of batteries for laptops and BlackBerrys.


...and bipolarity.

14 comments:

StringonaStick said...

Interesting that they actually had geologists looking around the country, since its a war zone and all that.

Imperialism; there is no other word for it, and we're never leaving (like that wasn't already obvious).

DrDick said...

And the dramatic increase in demand for lithium, brought on by the fact that we will now certainly be there forever, will be highly beneficial for whichever probably US based, rapacious and immoral multinational corporation gets to steal it.

rapier said...

A shame it wasn't dilithium crystals.

Major Woody said...

Of course, the US led the world in Lithium production during Nirvana's heyday.

DanF said...

Let the explota... er ... exploration begin!!

DanF said...

Let the explota... er ... exploration begin!!

sukabi said...

DanF, you were right the first times.

Athenawise said...

Halliburton is moving its headquarters to Kabul. Hey, the risk is worth it, right?

Raoul Paste said...

This was really disheartening to hear. Yes, we are now in the resource war era.

No problem, we'll just use and throw away young soldiers, just like we did in the accursed Iraq war.

What we really need is a good rhyme here, something along the lines of "kick their ass, take their gas". What rhymes with 'lithium'?

pansypoo said...

i suppose this is better news that deposits of plutonium.

guessed said...

depressing is speculation that the well casings might be compromised. that's what thom hartmann was discussing today, citing bloomberg and wapo. that would explain BP blocking scientists from exploring the bottom of the well.

somebody else pointed if oil is gushing out with nothing pumped back to equalize the pressure, part of the ocean floor can cave in. think underwater sinkhole, but bigger. what a nightmare.

Mr. Blue said...

Hmmmm... I thought our savior was going to end the war? WTF?

Major Woody said...

"Our savior"? You mean that charismatic man who can do no wrong, and is going to turn everything around in our nation's capital? I don't see what Stephen Strasburg has to do with this.

gypsy howell said...

So we taxpayers will build the roads and infrastructure by shovelling money at defense contractors (wonder how many trillions that's gonna take?) so that the ExxonMobils and BPs of the lithium trade can make their billions.

Sounds like a good deal.

Oh, and the Afghanis are screwed. As if they weren't already.