Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Matlock, in perpetuum aevum


Well, hello again.

It turns out I was sent to Hell. Which initially disturbed me as I oppose all extremes [ed. but not obvious jokes].

It sounds bad to some people I suppose, but it turns out Hell is an unending series of Conservative Seminars, or as my newly re-contacted friend Bill Buckley calls them, Symposium.

While it pisses off Mao and Stalin to no end, it turns out I will always be, as in life, a Speaker receiving a healthy fee at such events. It may be called Hell, but this seems to me a pleasant way to spend eternal torment.

The consensus in Hell, by the way, is everyone here, from Satan on down, is concerned about the Federal deficit and favors cuts in entitlements.

Just a few observations about this place. It is good to see Dick Nixon kicking around people that aren't Checkers or Cambodian, let me tell you -- although he and Pol Pot are great partners when we play a few rubbers of bridge. Tojo is a little down in the dumps as he was expecting to welcome more TEPCO executives by now.

From time to time I will be publishing this column in the Purgatory Post & Penny Saver straight from Hell to update you on what people like my old friends Bob Novak and Chuck Heston think.

Oh and....BRAINZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

10 comments:

Marion in Savannah said...

I'm wondering of Billy Buckley wouldn't have used the plural — Symposia. Sounds so high toned, doncha know?

StonyPillow said...

Atta TURK!!!1!

jimmiraybob said...

There's a certain comfort hearing ol' Matlock reaching out from the great abyss. I was just flipping through TV channels the other night when I say a Matlock rerun on the Sleep TV. My first thought was, I hope Atta's holding up.

Riley Dieffenbach said...

Say Hi to Jerry Falwell for us. Bet he's surprised he ended up there. But now I'm sure he gets to eat at the "popular" table now, so it's all good in the end.

Cervantes said...

Symposium is singular. Symposia is plural. Richard Cohen would really, deeply care about that.

pansypoo said...

where's hitler?

MD said...

Hitler ? ...He is in Patty Robinson's heaven, with Jerry Falwell.

moeman said...

This on-going series is gonna be hot!

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