My Political Advice to Hillary Clinton

Ms. Clinton,

I know that many on the right are speculating that you will be running for President in 2008. Of course, many of us on the left speculate this as well.

However, being a very bright person, I am sure you know that many people don't like you. Whether it be Dick Morris, whose toes you strongly refused to suckle upon; or those conservatives who dislike you for being: a strong-willed woman, a woman married to Bill Clinton, or a Democratic woman, a working woman, or just perhaps a woman in general.

Like many folks, I am sure you look at the current President and think, "I could do better". Believe me you are not alone, nor at all in the minority.

Nevertheless, I have been watching and reading the news lately and I do believe that there is one way in which your negatives could be erased and you would be in a very strong position come 2008.

I advise you to mysteriously disappear for a while.

Now, I'm not saying "actually kidnapped", although you are free to come visit Attaturk and hang out for a while -- just bring cash because the least you could do for taking this sensible advice is pay for my upkeep.

I really feel this is a cannot lose proposition.

First, you are white;
Second, you are a woman;
Third, you are a mother;
Fourth, even if it is discovered you left your husband voluntarily, many of your opponents wouldn't hold it against you.
Fifth, people like Nancy Grace will be forced to sing your virtues while saying that Bill most certainly is a suspect in your appearance. Granted, that will be a negative for him, but at least you can take comfort known Bill doesn't look like this.

Around October 2007 or so, you come back. We'll take that whole time to figure out how to pin it on Osama bin Laden, Al-Zarqawi, or Bill Frist (who you know was always after "Socks"!).

Just think about it.

Strategically Yours,

Atta J. Turk