News Media

An example of the Future New News Media:

Screen opens to the latest music by 50 cent and seven dancing women doing the latest moves as a winking CBS eye appears superimposed over them. The camera slowly pans over to a young man with obvious plastic surgery and amazingly white teeth who is nodding his head to the movement and smiling at the dancers. He slowly turns to face the camera...

Biff Hunkerson (BH): "Hi, y'll I'm Biff Hunkerson with the Cool CBS News for all you Newsies out in the fleshworld or Cyberspaces. We have important news that just cannot wait for the commercials."

BH: "Our first report t'nite covers some recent changes at MTV! We go to our MTV Gal Pal, Cindy Cutesy."

Cindy Cutesy (CC): "Giggle... giggle... that's right, my man Biff. Since last year when MTV launched M4 though M16 channels, we just learned that they have changed all of the sets!"

BH: "Wow!"

CC: "That's right Biff. New colors, new designs, even new celebrity hosts. And one of them, I cannot remember which one, actually plays videos."

BH: "Wow!"

CC: "And what's more, they are going to hire Linday Lohan to host TRL 1 thru 16."

BH: "Prez'net Lolo?"

CC: "Yup."

BH: "Cool."

CC: "Yup."

BH: "Well, in honor of this great occasion, we are going to show all of President Lolo's videos including all of her breast sizes, from "Full B" to "Strong D"

CC: "cool."

BH: "Yup."

BH: "That's the newsies for to-night Doggs. And now the Lolo's videos brought to you by CBS MegaCorp." "Later."