benedictxvi@vatican.va

Dear Bishop of Rome,

Once again a matter of morality has occurred which causes me to write to you for advice. I know you're a busy man and so you cannot respond to every entreaty, but perhaps you have some thoughts on this matter?

I was watching FoxNews the other day, which is put out by your servant Arch-Bishop Rupert of Brisbane when they said that "some would say that the newest "Star Wars" movie is anti-George Bush."

This puzzled me because, though I have not seen the movie, it is alleged to contain parallels to our current political era. Many people on the right seem to think that the seizing of power in the Republic is similar to the American Patriot Act. That may be true, but surely folks like Kathryn Lopez can see the homage to your church when it is clear that neither Luke nor Leia get aborted. That must be worth something?

Plus, in observing the thespian exploits of past 'Star Wars' films it seems strange to me that Republicans would have any real problems with it. By that I mean that, as directed by George Lucas, Hayden Christianson, is outacted daily by Scotty McClellan and even Dennis Hastert when he tries to be convincing in declaring he does not want the last pork chop.

What are your thoughts? You strike me as a major fan of Star Wars, what with its dark-side/light-side deal.

Live long and prosper, and nanoo, nanoo, mein Papst.