Friday Miscellaneous Lifeform Blogging

Early morning May 20, 2005.

*Phone rings*

Groggy voiced...

"Hello"

Voice: Yes, is the Atta J. Turk, esquire, and middling non-influential blogboy?

AJT: Um, the voice is a bit deep and whiskey-soaked, Mom?

Voice: No, my name is Tony, and I'm with the International Union of Carpenters, Long Shoreman, IT Professionals, and Film Gaffers & Best Boys. The IUCLSITPFGBB.

AJT: Huh? Never heard of it.

Voice: Unions, we're diversifying.

AJT: Oh, yeah. Ah, Solidarity Forever and all that.

Voice: What?

AJT: Nevermind, what can I do for you?

Voice: We've noticed, well for the sake of this blog, and forgetting the fact that I am a pretend stereotypical union tough guy, of not thinly veiled ethnicity...nice touch by-the-way Mr. Progressive Blogboy...I've noticed that your Friday Miscellaneous Lifeform blogging has not glorified enough the plight of the blue-collar colonial animal. The type of thing that the biosphere, as well as the blogosphere, is built upon.

AJT: I'm sorry, what can I do about it?

Voice: Well, we here at the IUCLSITPFGBB have invested many of our members pension dollars on ski trips and Lexis searches before the Bush Administration uses it to keep various corporate CEO's in luxurious airplanes and blow, and we've a suggestion to send you for today's posting. Also this sketch isn't getting any funnier and it is time to wrap it up. Oh, and nice run on sentence.

AJT: Okay, email it over to me.

Voice: We expect to see results post haste, or we'll pretend like we are going to do something violent and corrupt, since that is our stereotype. Again, nice touch, progressive blogboy. Here you go.


The Carpenter Ant