Virgin Mary Vagina Update

Still unused.

Sorry, that's actually old news.

In newer news, the image that some people claimed to be the Virgin Mary, but what most people thought resembled a gynocologist diagnostic aid, was deflowered last night.

A man was arrested for allegedly scrawling "Big Lie" over a stain on an expressway underpass that some believed was an image of the Virgin Mary.

Authorities then painted over the stain because it had been defaced, police spokesman David Banks said Friday. The name of the 37-year-old suspect was not released.

A steady stream of the faithful and the curious, many carrying flowers and candles, had flocked to the emergency turnoff area under the Kennedy Expressway since last month.

The stain was likely the result of salt run-off, according to the Illinois Department of Transportation.

For those who miss such miracles though...

TRUST ME, this JUST appeared, outta nowhere. It's a goddamned Miracle.


And should not be confused with...

Other less miraculous occurrences.


Ah, it feels good to be middle aged and mature...