From the Wizard of Clusterfucks...The Cowardly Lion Vacationer

Yeah, it's sad, believe me, Missy,

When you're born to be a sissy
Without the vim and verve.


But I could show my prowess, be a lion not a mou-ess
If I only had the nerve.

I'm afraid there's no denyin' I'm just a DandyLion,

With a fate YOU don't deserve.


I'd be brave as a blizzard....

I'd be gentle as a lizard....

I'd be clever as a gizzard....
If the Wizard is a Wizard who will serve.


Then I'm sure to get a brain,

...a heart

...a home

...THE NERVE!


And don't forget the follow up...

"KING of the Ranch...."


As I am King of the Nation--
not queen, not duke, not prince.


My regal robes as Dear Leader!
would be satin, not cotton, not chintz.


I'd command each thing, be it smart or no.
With a woof and a woof and a royal growl - woof.
As I'd click my heel, all the proles would kneel.
And the ladies blow and the bullshit flow.


And the Media would take wing - If I - If I - were King!
Each Suckup would show respect to me.

The old monks genuflect to me.

Though my ass would lash, I would show compash

For every underling!
If I - If I - were King!
Just King!