Hit List (In honor of PAT ROBERTSON DAY)

The Fabulous Watertiger has decreed this should be Bash Pat Robertson Day, and who am I to disagree?

You know, reknowned friend of human rights and enemy of all "strongmen" with whom he does not have a contractual agreement, Pat Robertson has been paying his 700 Club interns to do a substantial amount of research. It turns out that the "Dead Sea Scrolls" have a little known memo from none other than Jesus "Fookin'" Christ himself that demonstrate that advocating assassination is an out clause on the 6th Commandment.

12 March 27

To: Pete, Andy, James, John, Phil, Bart, Tom, Matt, Jim Jim, Thad, Sime, Judy

From: J

Re: Question concerning "What would I do?"


Recently Tom stated that he doubted that I was sincere about my statement "blessed are the peacemakers" Well, I wish to emphasize once again, that this sort of questioning the sincerity of my remarks does us no good. STAY ON MESSAGE PEOPLE! The Peacemakers have to be given lip service, because, I mean MESUS CHRIST! it's not like those people ever get any respect!

Anyhoo, last week the following people disrespected me -- C'mon, I gave you fish and wine people, for FREE, don't go complaining because its red wine instead of white. Mesus!

The Abdullah ("Our fish was too salty Lord!") Family of Tyre,

Silas & Natalie Hazekiah, who really copt an attitude, some people are soooooo jealous of me being the messiah and all

That one Roman Centurion, you know who I'm talking about, Asses Maximus!

Those stupid money changers who are bogarting us on the tunic concession!

Earl of Jerusalem, the guy with the stars & bars on his donkey, the Dukes of Herod, I hate that play.

I expect these people to be damned before the end of the week.