I Won't join in too much

The Virgin Ben, who proclaimed that his role in life is to send people to die and not risk his unspoilt little Shapiro in the cause, has already been pimp-slapped by some of the best. TBogg, Gilliard and this particularly satisfying one from an Iraqi-War vet all have ripped him a new virginal asshole.

But I'd like to be shorter and more to the point. When Ben writes about how noble it is for other people to die without him having to do anything other than cheer them on abstractly, I believe the sound that is heard coming from him is this...

*FAP* *FAP* *FAP*

I believe the War is causing him to undergo severe chafing.