Papal Bull****

A special message from the Holy Father to Islamic People everywhere:

Dear followers of the Qoran:

Recently, while in Germany I quoted a passage from a 15th century Byzantine emperor who had a negative review of your Prophet Mohammad. From this there has been a great deal of anger at me over slandering one of the world's great faiths. It has been a real time of difficulty for me, I don't know how to say it in a series of squiggles (I mean, that language of yours, what up with that?) but in my native tongue we have a phrase, "mein kampf".

I now appreciate that we have differences in how our respective cultures view things, other than that whole "Q" thing. And I should have thought that I don't quite have the clout of my predecessor who had the misfortune of stepping in front of an islamically fired bullet. Though back then it was the commies fault - so now you folks moved up the villain chain while we Germans moved down. Sucks be you, as the bishop said to the alterboy.

Meanwhile, you folks have taught me that quoting somebody talking about Muslim's having a propensity for violence will cause you people to be violent. So I better apologize for saying so.

But look, aren't we both just spinning our wheels here? Oh, sure, we've had a disagreement or two over the last 1400 years, but are there not things we have in common?

We are both people who believe in one God (we just recognize he has a split personality); we have Paul and you have Mohammad so we both were spread by guys who should have been on epileptic medication. We had a guy who said he was the son of God, you had a guy who thought angels told him what God wanted and occasionally took him flying -- so really being grounded in reality has always been "big" for our faiths.

With all these commonalities shouldn't we find something that we can both agree on that will unite us?

Why do we fight with each other? The Jews, Gays, and liberated women are still out there you know.

Tell you what, as a gesture of peace, I'll toss in a bitchin' hat!!!

Sincerely,

Benny