America's Slump Buster

For the especially depraved sexual pervert with cash to burn, the National Review offers it's wares:

This year, we’ve added a few new levels of sponsorship support (and additional tokens of thanks) for those who invest $100 or more in the present and future of NRO. Donations of $1,000 or more include new opportunities for access to our editors and writers.

$5,000 will get Derb to let you sit your young daughter upon his lap.

$10,000 will let you slap him when he crosses the line.